Are these worth sending in to get published? Please tell me your opinions on my poems!

Question

Soft mist sprays on my face

I sit on the rocks and stare at the ocean

as I realize it puts me in my place

The way the waves roll and crash against the shore

remind me how vulnerable I am

the fish that swim against the current

show me a spirit in nature

The seagulls flying up above

tell me to focus on the big picture and the details

The sun is setting

quickly the air is cooling

I take one last glimpse at my love

breathe in the salt air

let the mist caress my face

and turn to another day

Here is another one:

There is a vine growing on the door of the old house

such a beautiful sight

the way the moonlight hits the windows

is almost like watching the birth of a brand new star

the lawn is overgrown

like a wild jungle filled with things unknown

past the sights I hear sounds

The chorus of crickets

more beautiful than the violin

There is a gentle pitter-patter of the wind blowing

through the blinds

a sound of a gentle summer night

the rustling of the leaves against the bricks

as soothing as a babbling brook

everyone hates this old house

complains of the rickety wood and the smell of sawdust

but to me it is a second home

And a third:

I look deep within myself

looking for the texture of my mind

with my inner eye

all I see is padded walls and the color white

In the corner I see

suddenly a flash of color

Red?

Maybe its blood?

No its a rose

a sweet, sweet rose

Its petals as subtle as a gentle kiss

or an unknown glance

It reminds me of something

something, perhaps I have long forgot?

No a past unforgotten

a familiar voice floats through my mind

his voice

his lips brush mine then he is gone

like smoke caught in the wind

his name comes back to me

I call out for him

I hear manic laughter

Insanity

my sweet

you came back to me

Answer 1

I like the third one the best. I'm not a fan of the first two. I think just because it's not my style of writing. But, I would go for it. You never know until you try.

Good luck! :)

Answer 2

first - you really need to quit thinking of poetry as this outpouring of all your feelings and all that - and look at it this way.  Imagine you are taking a picture and instead of a camera use words.  Ok, now let's apply that to your third poem.  Imagine you are taking a picture of the wind - how do you describe the wind - what does it look like, symbolize, feel, etc.  what does the rose look like,  what does a name look like, or insanity, or a voice, or a fragrance?    Keep in mind you need to brainstorm, but then you need to edit what you write.  

ok - go back to your first poem where you describe a spirit - what does a spirit look like if you were going to take a picture ?  I'm not going to write your poem for you - but I'm trying to challenge your thinking and get you to think more along the lines of how you write if you want to get published.  There are so many people who write (it's good to write these) endless poems about their personal pain and the thing is editors see these all day long.  It isn't what is published that often.  Take a look at the poems in the New Yorker, and then tell me what perspective are they from - are they from an outpouring of what a person feels or are they from the perspective of an outsider..  ?  don't go by me, look them up yourself..

you can be a published poet - it takes work.   you have a ways to go..  

Answer 3

i'm going to be honest with you, because it wouldn't be helpful to just say they were good.

you write in the style of a teenager. that's not an insult, i'm a teenager myself. please ditch the end ryhme, stop using cliches and bad similes and metaphors, and write about stuff that really means something. also, these poems are basically sentences chopped up to make lines. what i'm saying is that it reads like prose.

but don't be discouraged. good writing takes work, just like so much else in this world.

Answer 4

yes indeed, i think you should try to get them published. i love the imagery so much!