Are they having to use applause signs at the Republican convention?

Question

They keep showing bewildered nursing home patients sitting in their veteran regalia not clapping. The applause is weak.

Answer 1

Hey, he has MONEY he can afford it all. I don't see how he feels our pain and connects with us when he has his own freakin' plane and 7 houses. That DOES NOT CONNECT WITH ME in any way.  

Answer 2

I would think you should have more sympathy for an previously incarcerated man. Old people who have arms broken by Marxists don't clap very well. It's not like fixing a muppet.

On the other hand, McCain has websites now, and for some stupid reason, they pulled your web-site off-line years ago. "Bert is Evil" was one of my favorites; we all have reasons to be bitter about that. The photographic evidence on that site proved your experience in foreign affairs, since you were shown with all the major foreign leaders of the 20th Century. I call that experience.

I'll see if I can sneak the latest issue of "Play Muppet" magazine into you. That should cheer you up. Keep the faith. You may be in there for another four years unless somebody on your team can dig up some more dirt on the kids...

When you get out and run for president, I only ask that you do NOT select Ernie as your running mate. Thank you.

(Cue the applause from the peanut gallery as we fade to black.)