Are we to love everyone, or be honest and not be friends with some?

Question

I needed some direction. I feel really conflicted. Spirituality teaches us to love everyone, but in real life, there are people

-we don't particularly feel drawn to

-not close to them and don't feel like being close either

-who say humourous comments (which are sarcastic) but who still try to be friendly.

-whose caring might not be genuine.

-who are judgmental

-whose value system is very different from mine which creates conflits.

-who have maintained distance from me and dont invite me anywhere yet greet me with friendliness (i suppose it is artificial) when we run into each other.

-who say "yeah we should get together" but who never make a proper plan to.

there are many reasons..

How can we love everyone? Is it possible...and is it even realistic?

Should I be friendly towards them? And keep in touch anyway? And not take anything to heart and keep being the good one with a pure heart?

I don't want to feel FAKE (I want to be true to myself) but at the same time, not relating with some people and avoiding them, or carrying a grudge becoz they do not reciprocate fully isn't creating a peaceful feeling either.

Your thoughts?

Answer 1

I can relate to your last reason.  People may say things that only serve as pleasantries.  But, I guess while life is clear to you.  For this other person, they maybe operating with a contorted ability to relate to people.  

What I do for myself is take that like a grain of salt.  But I maintain my own integrity as much as possible.  Be true to yourself, and who you are or what you want to become, that is the only person you are responsible for.  The rest of the world is beyond the scope of your responsibility.  

As long as you are solid in what you are. Nothing can sway you and you will find the inter-personal conflicts far diminished when they have little influence on you.

I invite you to answer mine:

http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind...

Answer 2

Loving everybody is impossible. Giving someone you don't like, or even hate, a second chance IS possible.

Answer 3

1.  We're only human and will never be perfect.  Loving everyone, even your enemy, is an ideal to work toward, even if we never achieve it 100%.  It's a direction, a path, on which we should do our best to stay on.  It's the work of a lifetime.

2.  You can dislike a particular person and things that they do, but still love the essence within them, which we all share.  Call it spirit, call it God, call it Atman or Buddha.  Try to get past outer trappings and look for the deeper good within.

3.  If you expect reciprocation, it's not real love.  True love is unconditional; it has no expectation of getting something back in return.  You love a person regardless of their actions and behavior.

4.  When you hold a grudge, the only person you're hurting is yourself.  Any anger you hold within yourself is poison to you, and has no effect whatsoever on the person whose behavior has made you angry.  Forgiveness works the same way.  To forgive does NOT mean that what the other person did is right.  When you forgive someone, you're not freeing them, you're freeing YOURSELF.  Anger is poison to you, and only to you.

5.  The people from whom you can best learn how to forgive and love are those with whom you're most angry.  Your "enemies" are a gift of opportunity.  Who else can you use to practice compassion? :-)

Just be aware of this stuff and think about it.  You don't get it right away (I didn't, anyway; I thought it was ridiculous).  I've been working on these things for years, and expect to keep at it till the day I die.  But I shudder to think what kind of person I would've been had I never even tried.

You might want to look into the practice of mindfulness.

Most of all, be patient with yourself :-)

Answer 4

You can achieve this, but also not be mean.

Answer 5

u know i think we all struggle with this and just to let u know u are not the only one influenced by spirituality. i do know that considering hard times we have faced in the past where people might have done horrible things to us and have stained us in life, we have to put that behind and focus on more positive aspects in life. if u love gods creation, "humans" then u love god. if god made the earth for us humans then u know he did it for us. if god can sacrifice his son for us, then im sure we can sacrifice some love for one another. being open minded and caring even when the other persons personality doesnt align with yours shows gods love and u will be blessed. promise.  

Answer 6

Well the idea is to get to know someone so that you may learn to love them. It assumes that we all have values worth loving.

I think we are a little behind on this one for now.

Answer 7

To put it simply

Loving everyone is to

Treat everyone the way that you would want them to treat you.

It is a goal for many of us, and I do believe that some people come very close.

I know that I always end up happier and more at piece when I treat anyone well.

Answer 8

They tell you to love everyone so you wont go out with a machine gun to the mall and kill everyone. Your over thinking this (maybe because your a girl).

Answer 9

We are to love everyone and live among them as peacefully as you can.

You can love people and not be their friend.

You can love people and not even talk to them.

You can smile and wave as you walk by.

If they talk to you, you can smile and say you are in a hurry and cannot stay and talk.

You do not have to keep in touch with people who act like you say in your question. If you see them you can say hello and goodbye.

You are still living among them as peacefully as you can, you are just not getting personally involved with their life.

Answer 10

To love everyone is to understand we are all different. There are over 6BILLION people on the planet, are we to befriend them all? They don't hang out with you or know your number. But you love them anyway and wish them good things.

Be honest with people, because honesty doesn't hurt you. Unless you have some seriously ignorant enemies who use your honesty to hurt you.

All the people you're not fond of, you should hope (or pray if you do this) that they one day soon are able to be better people and stop hurting people if they do that. Some people hurt you until they know you're 100% down and can't get back up again, but they are ill and need attention.

Value systems are different but it doesn't mean you need to ignore them. If a Christian would have the guts to befriend someone of a different religion, they begin to understand each other. Not all Christians are good people, same goes for other religions. You don't have to stop talking to the people who don't agree with the things you do. That's selfish. There are plenty of people in worse positions than you.

I totally understand where you're coming from, I've had the same issues with many people and I don't talk to most, and others will find me and cause drama, but that's what they do, it makes them feel powerful and some just wanna win battles that don't even exist. But they are allowed to exist as we all are. It's hard and I sometimes have my I-Hate-Everyone days but in the end I know I have to love them even if they don't love me.

Most people are fake. There are very few people out there who can be considered real and they are not the people most think are the people.

Be friendly towards everyone you know, and everyone you meet. There will always be fools trying to convince you they're honest and it's just to mess with you. Be honest but if you feel uneasy, rather than leaving just lie about something. Eventually you'll feel better about them, or not. Don't listen to rumors and if someone tells you one, go tell the one it's about.

I can tell you that MANY people who tell you to love everyone don't love everyone at all (I've met more than a handful of those) and many of them are people who think that hurting others is love when it is obviously not at all. Some will do anything to bring their friends in higher places even if it means someone else gets hurt. This is NOT nor has it ever been "loving everyone".

It's realistic if you know what it means and how to do it right. Most people don't know and probably don't care. It's easy to be mean to someone, but not so easy to love your enemies and do good for them (although some will do good only to get the enemy where they need them to be in order to do bad, which is not right).

Answer 11

You offer a false dilemma here--that we must either love everyone exactly the same or not love everyone.  I believe that loving everyone is an ideal I aspire to.  I do it imperfectly.  And this does not mean that I have to be insincere and write letters to people. I cannot, not should I write letters to everyone in the world, or even to everyone in the world who is lonely.

There is also a big difference between loving others and being a doormat.  I can love another person without choosing to allow them to manipulate me, steal from me or take advantage of me.  

There is a gray area for me on the question of loving others and being sincere.  I do not FEEL love towards everyone.  This does not mean that I cannot genuinely love them.  

Loving everyone means that I stand up for equal and fair treatment for everyone.  It means that I say something when someone is being abused, even if I don't particularly like the person personally.

I can love everyone and still have healthy boundaries, give appropriate attention to my friends and family, and have a life.

Answer 12

Loving all is not possible.

If you have the dilemma in your mind then you are certainly not a love-all person.  You should be who you are.  Conflict with others is inevitable.

Remember: "If everybody is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."  General George S. Patton

If a love-all person were to be given a shape, they would be a round plastic ball....great in the company of all objects, harmful to none, but easily punctured by sharp ones.