Are you a Canadian parent involved in an open adoption?

Question

I'd like to know how it's working for you. We have three kids and are looking to adopt a forth. We looked in our own province but all of the adoptions here are open. We don't feel we can live with many of the terms of these open adoptions, so we are presently looking outside the country. Adoption within the country would be quicker and easier at the start, but I'm afraid the terms would make it harder in the long run. It would take us longer to get a child from another country, but at least it would be OUR child with no involvement or intrusion from the birth mother. Thanks.

Answer 1

I agree and applaud you for having adopted already 3 children. There are so many children that need a home all over the world. I would look into adopting from Poland, Ukraine, Eastern Europe, Ive personally seen the children there that are so desperate to be part of a happy family. Either way, kudos to you and good luck with the process.

Answer 2

no

Answer 3

The thing about trying to avoid "intrusion from the birth mother" is that you're thinking about yourselves but not about the child.  Imagine if you were adopted. If it was me, I'd always wonder about the parents I was born to.  If that information was denied me, I'm sure I'd have issues with it later on. I'd REALLY have issues if I knew that my parents adopted me from half way around the world primarily to ensure that I could never know my mother.

That said, I'm the mom of three children that I adopted internationally.  We went international for a lot of reasons, but definitely not because we were looking to get a baby and make him/her OUR own with no intrusion (as you said).   We are trying to maintain contact with all our children's families.  It's very important to them - even the two who can remember their dad getting drunk and beating them.  

If you don't get a lot of responses here, it may be because you asked specifically for Canadian parents. Do a search, or ask a more general question about any adoptive parents in open adoptions.  There are many parents here who have positive things to say.