Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Question

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Southerner?

Here is a little test that should help you decide.

The answer may be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your spouse and two small

children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner,

locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife,

and charges at you. You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are

an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

What do you do??

Democrat's Answer:

Well, that's just not enough information to answer the question.

Does the man look poor or oppressed?

Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

Could we run away?

What does my spouse think?

What do the kids think?

Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

What does the law say about this situation?

Does the gun have appropriate safety built into it?

Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?

Is it possible he'd be content with killing just me?

Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?

Should I call 9-1-1?

Why is this street so deserted?

We need to raise taxes, have a Paint & Weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.

This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few

days and try to come to a consensus.

Republican's Answer:

BANG!

Southerner's Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click (Sound of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?"

Son: "Can I shoot the next one!"

Wife: "You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist!

Answer 1

My father, if you will believe it, is a complete and total Southerner, and at the same time, a member of the Democratic Party. I am a nonconformist. I have my own unique beliefs, most of which are radically different than the stereotypical positions, and my own convictions.

In answer to your ethical dilemna, as an expert shot, I would shoot the knife, hopefully it drops. Then shove my husband (being straight) and kids out of the way, then try to stop (motionwise) the terrorist without hurting him. Then call 911 or have my husband do it. Then try to talk to the terrorist. (I know a little Arabic)

I am against taking of life. I am for the preservation of life in all its forms. I seek to understand, not to judge or condemn anyone else for any reason whatsoever.

Answer 2

Very good.  I'm an individual.  I'll make up my mind when I'm ready to.   I don't say independent because that is synonymous with wanting to lose.  

Answer 3

When threatened in such a way I will pull my gun and shoot.  However, contrary to what is written here, in the South we do not usually need to reload in order to get the job done.