Are you a member of the Taliban?

Question

10 Signs You Might be a member of the Taliban

10. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

9. You own a $300 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

8. You have more wives than teeth.

7. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.

6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.

5 . You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry ammunition in your robe.

4. You've never been asked, "Does this burka make my butt look big?"

3. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.

2. A common compliment is, "I love what you've done with your cave."

And, the NUMBER ONE SIGN you might be a member of the Taliban:

1. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon unclean.

Answer 1

Phew! thats ok then, I am none of the above.

Answer 2

No, I've only got one vest.

Answer 3

No, thankfully I can say I'm none of those but that is classic!

Answer 4

No i'm not

Answer 5

oink oink

looks like im safe - i love jewish people too

Answer 6

Hahaha you've been spying on me.

Answer 7

11; You make your bird cover her face in public, but allow her to expose her FEET !!

Answer 8

Haha-loved it

especially the heroin one

Answer 9

nope sorry :)

Answer 10

yes my name is myshek myballz

Answer 11

yep, all boxes ticked

Answer 12

Very funny, and I nominate you for "Question of the Year"!!!!!  

I'm glad I live in America, where even though we have supporters of the Taliban, America's Enemies and Communism (Cindy Sheehan, Act Up, World Can't Wait, Falun Gong and Code Pink), we can always deport them and send them to live with their fellow terrorists in Guantanamo Bay Prison.

Answer 13

No. Why are you recruiting?

Answer 14

Yes those pigs are filthy can't touch them, but I would kill for  a little toasted steaky bacon sandwich at the moment.

Answer 15

this won't be here long, some one will complain, won't be me

I didn't tick any boxes, considered no.10 as i'm teetotal.

but think heroin is just as bad!

Here have a joke.

A Taliban suicide bomber pulls the plug and explodes.......................BOOM!!!

A short while later he finds himself on a huge white staircase leading towards the heavens, so he starts climbing up.

After an hour of hard climbing, he arrives at a landing where an old man in white robes with a long flowing beard is sitting surrounded by ledgers.

'Excuse me sir' he says 'are you Mohammad?'

'No' replies the old man, 'I am St Peter, Mohammed is further up the stairs'. 'But this is wonderful news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammed is higher than St Peter! I can hardly believe it.' With this he carries on climbing up the stairs.

After an hour or so of hard climbing he arrives at another landing. Standing on the landing is a serene looking man with long hair and a long white beard. 'Excuse me sir' he says 'Are you Mohammad?'

'No' replies the old man, 'I am Jesus, Mohammad is further up the stairs'. But this is amazing news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammad is higher than Jesus! I can hardly believe it, martyrdom is wonderful!!!'

With this he carries on climbing up the stairs. After another hour or so of hard climbing he arrives on a huge landing. There, sitting on a magnificent throne is another old man, with flowing white robes, beard and long white hair. Excuse me sir' he says 'are you Mohammad?'

'No' replies the old man, 'I am God.'

But this is absolutely amazing news' screams the bomber, 'Mohammad is higher than God! I am so happy I can't believe it, martyrdom is more than wonderful!!!'

You look tired my son' said God 'would you like to sit down and rest a while?'

'Oh yes' replied the bomber 'I am very tired and would love a rest before I carry on, thank you.'

The bomber sits down and God says 'You look thirsty my son, would you like a cup of tea?'

'Oh yes please' replies the bomber 'I am most thirsty, thank you.'

With this God turns and snaps his fingers and shouts.......................... 'Oi, Mohammad, two teas over here, and make it snappy!!'

Answer 16

There's an Irish Tallagh Band.