Are you a member to more than one side of adoption?

Question

For example, are you an adoptee and also a natural parent? Or are you an adoptive parent and also a social worker or other adoption agency rep.? (Any combination.)

If so, with which side do you most closely identify? Has it changed over time? Do you ever feel conflicts about that? Thank you.

Answer 1

i am an adopted person.i also want to adopt children from Foster care.i have met my nmom and after 9 years working through all the emotional issues there,i feel at peace and ready to give a child a home.

Answer 2

I am an adoptee as well as a natural parent. I identify most with the adoptee side of my life but I am far more emotional towards the nmom side. I have had 30 years to digest being adopted but only 10 to come to terms with the pain I have felt and caused as a relinquishing mother.

My adad is also an ndad. He said that until his reunion with his daughter he didn't think about it much but now he thinks far more about being a relinquishing father than an adopter.

Answer 3

I was the cousin of several adopted people

I was the Wife of an Adopted person for 14 years and the mother of his children.

I am the mother of Adopted Siblings

I am the best friend and sister-in-law of an adopted person

I am the niece of a person who waited to be adopted and never was.

As the mother of my biological children I most identify with my ex-Adopted Husband and his issues, as many were also issues for our children... So I have spent a lot of time during the early adult years with an adopted mate.

Now I have to say I most identify with being an adoptive mother... because that is what I am doing day to day....

Answer 4

the only combo i have is being an adoptee and then having to watch my cousins adopt both in an out of coutry.

i feel extremely conflicted bc i want to be supportive, but i can't be.  they started what WAS an open adoption and then left town and basically closed it on their own with the domestic one.

my cousin had the audacity to ask me if i thought this would bother her kid.

Answer 5

Yes I .am an adoptee and also a relinquishing mother.As  I was growing up I thought a lot about my mother as to why I was given away but when I gave my own daughter up to the adoption process I found myself understanding,to a certain extent,as to the why.For a lot of years i found myself thinking of my daughter and the thoughts and feelings about my mother were put on the backburner of my life,but since I have became a grandmother I find myself back to the original thoughts and feelings with the ones relating to my mother  back to the front .I do feel that the changing circumstances in my life has a great influence on why my feelings change.

Answer 6

I'm not adopted or a natural parent that put my child up for adoption. What I feel like I'm at at this time of my life is pro and against adoption. What a strange mix. I feel like adoption should be a choice made only after there is no other way to care for the child, and there should be no secrets between the birth parents and the child and the adopted couples.  Also just because the natural mothers don't want the child then atleast see if the fathers want to raise the child instead of going around the father's like what happened to my son.

   Then there is the other side with out adoption there is no hope for my daughter. So you see I'm a mess.

Answer 7

I will be. I am an adoptee and I intend to adopt in the next two years. We have attended our infromation meetings and have our initial paperwork.

Answer 8

I am an adoptive mother and also a bio-cousin to several adoptees who were placed into foster care (and subsequently adopted).  I've had experience from the side of losing my cousins to foster care and not understanding as a child "where" they went or "why".  I was blessed to have a reunion with them once they turned 18 and we are very close now.  I think that is one of the many reasons that made adoption such an easy choice for my husband and I when we were presented with the opportunity to adopt our son.

Answer 9

I am an adoptive parent.  My Dad, Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother and cousin are all adopted.

I also have two adopted friends.

I identify most with myself as an adoptive parent.

Answer 10

I'm not sure if this is what you are asking but i am an adoptive mom and i have many adopted cousins.  My great aunt adopted(1) and my aunt adopted (6).  After my aunt died of cancer i help out as much as i could in raising the youngest three.  I've always had such an amazing bond with them.  Wendi was the youngest and she was like my little sister.  The person I was closest to besides my husband.  She was killed in a car accident 2 yrs ago.  I find myself lost without her, she was a role model to my children, their godmother, and their first baby sitter.  I'm close with the other two boys but the girl thing is just different.  

I identify with being an adoptive mom but i have been along my cousins sides as they all searched for their birth families. So i am pretty luck to see the full spectrum of things.

Answer 11

Yes, I was adopted and yes I am a natural parent, I never seen any difference, I had loving parents who taught me to be a loving parent. Only one thing was different I was an only child and I had 4

Answer 12

I am an adoptee and natural parent.  I used to identify more with being the adoptee until I met my bio parents.  Actually, when I, myself, became pregnant at a young age I would not even consider putting my son up for adoption because of all the conflict it imposed on my young life; questions as to who my parents were and self identity.  I decided, instead, to grow up quickly and switch gears so I could afford to take care of my son on my own so he wouldn't have identity problems like I had.  Now, since meeting my parents, I can identify with both sides.

Answer 13

I am an adoptee and also have 2 adopted children , who we adopted as infants and now they are 16 and 19. I closely identify with both sides-  when I adopted my 2 children and were given the opportunity to meet their birth moms- I realized even more what a beautiful sacrifice my mom paid for me by placing me for adoption.