Are you a parent if?

Question

my best friend has 3 children, doesnt work outside her home and depends on wic, foodstamps and medical card to help her.. she has been been using these services for 9 years..i find nothing wrong with this as long as the services are not abused. i have one child. she says that a woman doesnt know what its really like to be a mom until she has had more than one.. i disagree. i think one child, a job, taking care of a house and school is a lot of work.. maybe more than one child is harder, but one is hard enough..do you think you have to have more than one child to know how hard raising a child is.. i respectfully disagree with her.

Answer 1

It's better to have one kid who is looked after well than 3 who are not brought up as good. If you have decided to have one child as you can only support one child financially and afford childcare etc then I would say you a much better parent than one who has 3 kids and lives off the state.

Answer 2

When it comes to saying that a woman does not know what it is like to be a mother until she has had more than one child, I believe that the statement is not true.

To be a mother is to tend, love and care for your child in my opinion.

And you have been doing that, not to mention, you have had to deal with holding down a job, going to school and taking care of the house and child.

More children are more responsibility, and I know a couple people like your best friend, on Wic and foodstamps.

I bet the both of you are wonderful mothers, and the best to you.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with getting a little help, but 9 years is a bit long. The strongest are those that can admit when they need help and accept it.

Answer 4

I think the friend that said that is on a high horse and needs to come down fast. you are a REAL parent not matter how many children you have as long as you love them, take care of them, support them (physically,financially, emotionally). It boggles my mind that she can say someone is not a parent if they only have one kid... h**l she has 3 kids and can't support them without government assistance so if you ask me your friend (respectfully) needs to get a clue

Answer 5

Yes, you are a parent, no matter how many kids you have...

Just because something is harder doesn't mean it is better or that you should get more credit for it.

Taking care of one kid is hard enough when you're doing other things. It sounds like she is just trying to make herself feel better(you have it easier financially and such) by saying that she's a better mom. Just respectfully disagree, smile, and nod. You know in your heart you're a parent, as well as your child knows, and that's all that really  matters.

Answer 6

Absolutely not.  You know what its like being a mom as soon as you have 1 child.  The amount of children is harder, but you still know what it is like to be a mom.  Honestly being a mom period is hard, even if you dont work outside the home and have one kid.  It requires patience, understanding, and discipline.

I don't think having more children makes you more of a mom but i also dont think needing services makes you any less of a mom.  

I am a single mom so I know its tough because I have to be 2 parents in 1.  I do get assistance until I can get my Phlebotomy license in a few months and I will still be in nursing school at the same time, so its hard both ways.

Answer 7

You have to have more then one child to know what its like raising more then one child other wise she is wrong

Answer 8

You are a parent if you and your children are happy and comfortable in your surroundings.I have medicaid for my kids, and yes, I have been on Foodstamps before, but I was not happy about having to do it so I did something about it. I left the guy that I was with, got a good paying job, and now I am married to a wonderful man who takes care of what needs to be done. It doesn't matter how MANY kids you have, but how you TAKE CARE of them.

Answer 9

Wow! I'd say that's a pretty bold statement by your friend and it sounds like you are not only a parent, but a responsible one.  You are the one taking care of your child, working and providing for them and you.  Wether you have 1 or 10 you're still a parent and experience parenthood.  Quite frankly, I don't have biological children yet, we want too, it just hasn't happened. However, I do have 2 stepsons whom we have custody of.  I am just as much of a parent as any biological parent. There is much more to parenthood than the number of kids you've popped out.

Answer 10

Thats a weird thing to say...

To be the best mom you can, you just need to do the best job you can, and give them everything your able to. You dn't need to be the best mom in the world, just do the best job that you can.

It doesn't matter on how many kids you have. Thats what I believe anyway.

Answer 11

Your friend is wrong. Yes, raising more than one child can be harder than raising just one, but that doesn't make her any better of a parent. And this may sound rude, but your friend being on government assistance for 9 years with no intentions of finding a job IS abuse of the system. Assistance is meant to help out, not solely provide.

Answer 12

Why would you be best friend with such a trashy person?  You know the truth.