Are you a people pleaser?

Question

I really do wonder how many people out there are people pleasers? For example, a friend rings you up and asks you to come out. You don't feel like going out you've got other plans, (What? Slobbing around is a plan!), so you say yes to make them happy, and if you say no, you feel really rotten.

I do this, a lot, now a days i say no a lot more, but i always feel rotten.

Do you?

Answer 1

well, i have a very guilty conscience, n wen i say that i mean i cant even sleep at night if i stepped on a bug and killed it, so it's super hard 4 me 2 say no. but it depends on who ur pleasing, like if it's some1 close, it's worth it, but otheriwse no, b/c ppl can easily take advatage of u then. n if u feel bad anyways, what was the point, ur gonna feel bad at the end anyway, but if u want 2 continue go ahead, but i say try no sometimes, it'll give u more time 2 urself. =)

Answer 2

I always say yes and do what I can for other people but like yourself Ive started thinking that maybe I should say no sometimes, its a tough one I would feel really bad if I did but perhaps we are just as important a them? of course we are, lets do we want more often:)

Answer 3

I'm the opposite i like annoying people ;)  

Answer 4

omg, i do this all the time...it kinda sux sometimes, but i dont wanna upset them...and sometimes the way they talk, i just cant resist :\

Answer 5

yes o yes but now I am 60 life is too short and I have at last learned about boundaries and that the sky doesn't fall down if I evade my responsibilities to hold  it up plus the human race single handedly and make sure everyone on my sphere is a happy bunny.

Its sad I learned this so late - If I could give it to you I would. Its a really hard process to shake off and I htinkit has some roots in control versus freedom .

People pleasing is such a way of controlling external variables.  If I make sure that you are happy you wont condemn me for being wrong.

I learned how to change just this much by seeing that I had rights and also giving myself permission to do some personal social research - What dynamic follows when I say  - no thanks.

Answer 6

No, by nature of my job I have to do that, but on personal time I'm definitely not.

Answer 7

no way i do as i like , if i dont wana go i wont go simple as that.

if it was a speacil occasion or a dire need then i would go for a short time only

Answer 8

Yes. I sometimes feel like I'm obligated to make other people happy. I feel rude saying "no" and it's quite a problem because I'm worried all the time about making others happy.

You just got to tell them that it's nothing personal. I'm starting to learn that a lot of the time, people don't get too upset about it.