Are you a single woman who when you have to deal with contractors, salesmen, etc. are treated with disrespect?

Question

and disregard for what you may be wanting, home repairs, buying carpet, anything where men are in control, and or in charge of waiting on you? What do you do when this happens? These type of men just seem to enjoy the difficult time they give women who need to handle these sort issues on their own. The problem is not much different in the rare case that a woman owns the carpet business or home repair business or whatever, because they don't want the hassle on their end , or they too consider the woman as a second class consumer. I would like very much to hear your experience and solution. Several women I know have had the same problem, and my suggestion was for them to take an assertive authorative man along, though this is not always possible when he may have to work, . Further more women should not have to take a forceful boyfriend or relative along anyway, but it is the only thing that I know of that will avoid the problem from the beginning. MEN YOUR SOLUTION IS WELCOME!

Answer 1

I'm a contractor, and male, and have no gender bias. In fact a very direct fact is that your gender generates most of the sales, and work in our society, and I mean that with all due respect. If not for your gender WE, as contractors would only get calls when the male resident did a DIY that was unsuccessful,,, and that happens often anyway.

  Part of the issue, as you validly point out, is some bias, and notion that your gender cannot possible know which end of a hammer to use. I disagree however, with anyone who thinks they should have an aggressive/assertive, male tagging along, for whatever reasons.

   Certainly too, I believe that anyone who "SELLS" anything, (no offense to salesmen, I have to bid and pitch jobs too) might often be equated to a back street, used car salesman. "Yer gonna love this car little lady, it has character, and we added a nice smelly thing that hangs on the mirror" GET my point?

  I probably have no real "solution" other than for anyone making any purchase to have some knowledge before the fact, of what they want, and be firm, male or female, about specifications, materials, colors, pricing, the OBJECT of the purchase, believing all the while that everyone wants a larger $$$ sale, etc.

  THEN,,, When your gender encounters such an issue, report it, even to corporate. You may even find the purse holder to be one of your own? Beyond that I might suggest being civil, even say "thanks, but no thanks" and either shop elsewhere, or ask bluntly for another "CLERK".

  The mentality is obviously archaic, and stagnated, yet in all my years I know it's your gender who truly makes the money decisions, with regard to budgeting, bill paying, shopping choices.

Steven Wolf

Just my two "sense"

Answer 2

I'm a contractor and most of my  customers and about 95% of the decision makers are women.  I know where my bread is buttered and I usually talk to the woman of the house rather than the man.

I sometimes even joke about how he gets to pay for it all so better get everything she wants on the list.

If your contractor isn't talking to you or giving you what you want/need, find one who will.

Answer 3

Well I am not a woman, however I was raised by a single mom. It was me and two older brothers, we never treat a woman with disrespect, whether it be carpentry or sewing, lol. I have never understood why men do treat women with disrespect when it comes to those sort of things. If I were a woman and had to deal with that stuff, I would do like my mother did; she always stood up straight held her head up high and looked them straight in their eyes and asked them any questions she had, gave them any input she had, and if they ever disrespected her, she would give them a piece of her mind. I wish women didn't have to deal with stuff like this still. You know, years ago men did disrespect women and they never had a say so, but now women do have a say so. ;)

Answer 4

Yes, it happens to me. As soon as they see that their attitude is costing them money, most of them shape up.

I've fired contractors for making stupid sexist remarks or even for making a pass at me instead of doing the repair they were hired to do.

I have reported sexist and rude salesmen to their managers, as I explain why I am not buying from them.

And anyone who wants to talk to "the man of the house" is told that he's at the vet being neutered.  :)

Answer 5

A typical is what it is called, stand up for yourself, let them know from the start that you are in charge and they can either be of help or they can hit the bricks and you are going to give the job to someone who needs the work......

Answer 6

I have had to deal with that a LOT!  Doesn't matter if you're single or not!  I had one guy tell me to have my husband call him and he'd explain it to him!  Needless to say, my next conversation was with his boss!  My husband is wonderful at building things, wood working, gardening but anything mechanical is NOT his thing!

I've found the best recourse is not to deal with people who treat you in that manner!  They have not respect for people and probably won't respect your car, home, whatever they are working on!

It's also helpful to know something about what you're getting done before hand!  This is definitely another area where knowledge is power!  Not to sound nasty, catty, whatever you want to call it but if you go in acting like a dizzy female, you're going to get treated like a dizzy female......

Answer 7

Why bother? There are sooo many contractors out there.  Just find one that treats you equally.

Answer 8

Well if you wear a ring they will think the guy is incapable and you know better than they do so they will talk to you like you know what your talking about

Answer 9

Hi Gracie, well I'm not a wman, but know what you mean and it makes me as mad as you. The best advice is to learn some basic stuff about the subject you're gonna talk about. If you want the car fixed, go on line and present the problem, get answers then talk to the mechanic. If a contractor sees you know what jack studs are and a header, they might just tighten up, you can put them in thier place!

I was in the real estate business and lending/financing and saw this in many cases. Sometimes I got involved to the point of interviewing the workers. But, it's not my money, house or problem to live with, it's emotional too, but leave emotions out of EVERY BUSINESS DEALING! My best advice is to educate yourself. You can go to house framing on the net and see every board in a house, study it. same with plumbing. Granted heating and air is tougher, but read the rule of thumb stuff and get more than a couple bids.

You might tell the guy that's giving you the bid that your "brother" is helping you and you're getting the information for him. But, still ask intelligent questions, study the topic, shop the prices on the phone, call the lumber yards, dealerships and back alley body shops. Best I can do for ya, sorry. You go girl! B

Answer 10

Oh yeah, first you still have to go to the HandyMAN section, like a woman doesn't belong there. You got to know your stuff. I'm a petite, attractive, feminine woman who apprenticed 3 years as a mechanic when I was a kid, went into teaching, learned woodworking and then taught it to teens and adults for the past 7 years. You should hear some of the ridiculous things that salespeople and others try to tell me. Just research well beforehand to save you a lot of frustration.

Answer 11

hehehe,you should see them look at me.

I use this as a rule of thumb for me and it works.I generally get a read on personality,if the representative shows concern I give them more ground.

On the flip side if they talk down to me,they lose.In my business it's 99% a mans world and gaining respect can be a real challenge.

I generally research topics of the unknown before going on my treks.Even after talking to sales people I still shop around.Even for me in my bizz it's all about service,if I offend one,10 know about it.

If I had to take my boyfriend along it would present more problems in the long run.

Personality and caring goes a long way.

My Best