Are you a stay-at-home mom of school age children?

Question

I have two sons age 14 and 10 and I don't work, just stay home and take care of cleaning/cooking. Anyway, when other women ask what I do I tell them I stay home, and they look at me like I'm a crazy loser, but I like to be here when they get home from school, be here if they need to come home sick or have snow days, anyway is it really that odd for me to stay home when they are school age?

Answer 1

No. I applaud you for doing what you feel is right, regardless of what others say. I take a lot of c**p from my husbands family for being a SAHM, but it is something that my husband and I both agree is best for OUR family. We don't try to shove it down other people's throats, so we wish they would respect our lifestyle as well.

Answer 2

It just isn't that common anymore. Money wise most people can't More power to you fro being able to. Once they are at that age it is a nice time to go back even part time and have some play money saved up.

I work graveyard shift myself. I can't afford to stay home right now, and daycare costs to much, it is almost a waste to work and pay daycare. So I work graveyard and my oldest is in kindergarden. I sleep when he is in school and in the summer(now) I sleep when the man of the house gets home and switch off the kid to Him. We are expecting our second in august. Being a stay at home mom is lovely, it is just a dying art. Women work because money is ugly and sadly a lot of women now don't take care of their men like they used to..and a lot well are single parents now as well as men don't work like they used to.

The world is changing....

Answer 3

well if i was you i would volunter around the community or just get a part time so you wont feel that bad when they ask.

Answer 4

no if your income affords this luxury it is nice-- no one takes care of your own children like you do -- you may find a good and reliable sitter daycare but when it comes down to it no one can do it like you do

Answer 5

I am, as well, of one son. I had thought that maybe once he started school, I'd go back to work (I tried casual, but the timing of the day didn't mesh with his school), but then we agreed I'd stay home for the first few years of school. Then, that was working really well - with days off school me being home, I did tons of volunteer work with his school and even taught one subject to his class with anothe mom; he got migraines, so I could go get him, etc.

It just turned out SO well to be there to see him off in the morning, then to be the one he could tell everything to after school - that we just continued it through to high school. It's been very valuable - for not just our son, but to our family and our marriage, really.

I was the higher income earner, so things get tight, as you know, but we've worked it through.

And nothing beats the look on my son's face when he comes in and smells something amazing like baking right out of the oven, or a yummy supper cooking!

Answer 6

Not at all you are a housewife and lets face it in common day britain the majority of mothers are the same. Being mum is a full time job in itself theres absoloutley nothing wrong with staying home

Answer 7

Mel is right.  

There isn't anybody out there who knows and can take better care of your kids than you do.  When people looks at you funny, they're probably (and I'm seriously not saying this to be mean) just jealous because you got it like that.  I wouldn't worry.  Your kids will remember and appreciate it a lot more.  The only reason I went back to work is because I feel bad when I'm not making money.  And if I'm not constantly on the go, I go stir crazy!

Answer 8

People are so judgmental!

You get one life and you get to choose how to spend it.  Other people can choose how to spend theirs, and don't need to make the same decisions you do.  If staying home is satisfying to you, works for your family, and is affordable, then you've made a good decision for you.  (If you're bored out of your mind or resentful of your kids, then by all means reconsider).  

There are a lot of jobs I personally wouldn't want, but I don't think people are crazy for choosing them.  People should live and let live.

Answer 9

no,no,no it's not odd at all. I am a stay at home mom and love it. Lot's of people assume your just lazy or don't want to work when you stay at home with the kids. I get that alot, but nothing could be further from the truth, any stay at home mom can tell you, it's full time, no holiday's and no paycheck! but as for me, the currency I get from my boy's (6 and 8 years) beats money any day!

                                                                         Tonya,

                                                                             Texas

Answer 10

I'm a stay at home mom too, it's not easy and sometimes I go crazy. I have three childern and a husband that acts worse than the kids. So good job keep being there. I volunteer at the kids school just to keep me busy.

Answer 11

No, people seem to be too hung up on "my rights" to remember, that a womans place is in the home! Period. Thats been age old. No wonder the divorce rate is sky high, and so many men are s******g babysitters/nannies! Obviously the wife isn't around...hmm, go figure! All of the backlash between WORKING moms, and FAMILY moms....if the best thing a working mom can say is "I squeeze 2 hours with my family in at the end of the day, and get everything done better than someone having all day to do it"...then they are LIARS!!!

I do know that I might work part time once my kids are in school. I have no desire to put my family on the backburner for an unneeded paycheck. If I wanted to live that kind of life, I wouldn't have gottem pregnant or married. While some people make it work just fine by working opposite shifts and such....most simple have little to 0 family time except for their days off. So NO you aren't strange! What IS strange is choosing to be a part time parent and wife! Look at when divorce rates started rising steadily, it's when women started working! Do you really think that is a coincidence, I don't. 65% of marriages end in divorce now, I'd bet my bottom dollar over 75% of them are have the mother working....it takes away from the family. Sorry ladies, truth hurts, and the ones slinging dirt to stay at home moms are rock freakin dumb stupid, and really need to get a brain and spend more time with their darn family!

Edit* I'll keep pulling info on what I am saying, because whether peole like it or not...it is a very logical cause in the dertuctions of families, and there is a lot of info supporting this...so I'll take a while and post the info.

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qn...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

http://whystudyeconomics.ac.uk/blog/?p=5...

http://www.wholefamily.com/aboutyourkids...

Answer 12

Personally? Yes, I think it's odd. What on earth do you do with yourself all day? Cleaning and cooking? Working mums do that AND work - it SO isn't a full time job or even close to it.

I'd rather eat ground glass than stay home all day every day playing housewife while my kids aren't even there. You get one life - do you really want your obituary to read "she had a REALLY shiny sink"? And people wonder why girls don't think school is important. Because, let's face it, knowing how to use your brain is pretty much irrelevant if all you're going to do is childcare and housework.

Answer 13

My mother was a stay at home mom and there whenever we got home from school, etc.  But, for me --I found she was more of a burden than a help.

She was bored and lonely...almost depressed.  Yeah, the house was clean, and we had nice meals.  But, I had no respect for her.  

Maybe you should get a job at the school as a teachers aide or something.  I truly think if you have a daughter you are setting a super bad example.  I like the idea of volunteering too.  Today, I am 27 and I am still annoyed with my mother for sitting home all day.

Also, the comments about "If you can afford it, great".  Well...I find that most sahm's can't afford to do it but, do it anyway at the sacrifice of their children.  Do you realize money magazine (as well as other sources) says you need to save $600 a month to send your child to a public college---that's from birth!  and $1200 a month to send your child to private college.

If you aren't saving that for their college educations.  You can't afford it and are hurting them by staying home all day!  Make yourself useful...the most valuable thing you have is your time.  It doesn't take all day to cook and clean!

Answer 14

I am a stay at home Mom - I feel the same way you do. Take a look around at our youth - I think anyone can see what is happening from so many Mothers working full time.

Answer 15

Congratulations to your family.

I don't have children yet, but my plan is to stay at home as many days as possible for as long as possible whilst I have children living with me at home!!  I personally would enjoy to work a couple of days per week once the children hit school, but I am talking during school hours so I can take them to after school activities and be there for them.  However it would probably be nice maybe once a week for children over 10 to be at home without mummy or daddy to become more independent.  On a night where there are no after school activities.

But congratulations that you are financially able to support your children the way you do.  Many families can't do this in this day and age!!

Answer 16

My mother is not a SAHM she is in fact a mom and a very hard working and very successful nurse. I'm fifteen years old and you know, her working has just inspired me to push myself harder in school to get to that point of where I want to be career wise.

For SAHM's, I don't mind them or my mother as long as their family is financially stable and happy then what should it matter? As long as people don't shove the thought of being a mother who also works and a SAHM down one another's throat, we're fine. However being a SAHM isn't what my mother wanted to do she wanted to work and take care of a kid and I give her an A+ for that. Our bond as mother and child couldn't be anymore stronger if you possibly tried, we are so close. And I consider myself responsible and pretty mature for my age. I get good grades in school. And I don't do anything I shouldn't be doing - but that's because I'd be too lazy to even try.

So as to being a SAHM versus being a mother who has a job - I think it works out for different people. Some SAHM's I think they really seem to enjoy the hectic crazy household and stuff. For working mothers I know some who like to go to work and then they like to come home and spend time with their kids. It works for different people.

Listen, don't mind the people who think that you're crazy for being a SAHM if it works out pretty nicely for you, then why should you care? It's just something that you do that keeps your family running smoothly, no shame in that.

:)

Answer 17

I'm a stay at home mom also my boys are 12 & 10.  I think it's very important to be home when they arrive home from school to be there for them especially when they are in the teen years.  Those mothers that give you a look for being a stay at home mother is more because they're jealous that they can't stay home with their kids.  Too many people are more concerned about making lots of money and the kids are pushed to the side and that's an awful thing!

Answer 18

My kids are the same age and I'm a SAHM as well.  I did however work when they were smaller and they needed to go to daycare because I HAD to work.  I decided to be here for them and there is plenty to do to keep a home running : )