Are you able to make me laugh ?

Question

sure, be yourself if you want. be another person if you want. tell some jokes. lame or good jokes.

i just want to see who can get me to chuckle. you'll get the ten points you deserve.

Answer 1

The Snow White Ad!

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs are roaming in the forest when they come across a lake. The water was enticing and Snow White decides to take a bath. So she tells the Dwarfs to turn around while she is taking a bath in the lake.

The Dwarfs protest vehemently because they want to take a bath too.

Snow White relents and says "When I get into the water and you hear the splash, you can turn around."

Snow White undresses and as she is about to jump into water, at that very moment, she is startled by a frog who jumps into water before she can.

The moment the Dwarfs hear the SPLASH, they turn around and see Snow White standing NAKED.

Now, given that this incident is an idea for a TV ad, what product is being advertised?

Scroll down for the answer.

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Come on now, this should be easy for a person of your mental powers!

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The product being advertised is...

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SEVEN UP!

Answer 2

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Boo

Boo Who?

Why are you crying!!!

That is my best attempt- sorry

Answer 3

learn to speak Chinese/English:

1) That's not right .......................Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive?............. Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ........................... Dum ***

5) Small Horse ......................... Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? ............ Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table ........ Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift ........... Chin Tu Fat

9) It's very dark in here ................. Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet ........... Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone ................ No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ................ Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile .......... Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ........... Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great .................................. Fa Kin Su Pah

Answer 4

chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king, and got one

:D

who needs your mom when you have chuck norris

Answer 5

A woman three months pregnant falls into a deep coma. Six months later, she awakes and asks the nearest doctor about the fate of her baby.

"You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are both fine," says the doctor. "Luckily, your brother named them for you."

"Oh ****, not by brother! He's an idiot! What did he call the girl?"

"Denise," the doctor replies.

Thinking that isn't so bad, she asks, "And what did he call the boy?"

The doctor answers, "Denephew  

Answer 6

Along time ago, there was this 34 year old man. He had a happy life but he wanted more. So one day when he was driving to work he saw a small child on the middle of the road. She didn't move or anything. He saw her and stopped. He got outside and picked up the little girl. He then put her in the front seat and went off to work. When he got out of his car when he came to the parking lot, his best bud asked him why a little girl was in his car. The man said "I found her on the road and will bring her home after work to make her happy." His friend understood immediately that his friend wanted to do to this poor girl. He then said "WHAT! YOU b*****d! SHE'S ONLY A LITTLE GIRL! WHAT THE h**l IS WRONG WITH YOU!" Then the 34 year old said " Is something wrong? I just want to make her happy by calling the police to call her parents?"  Then his friend said "OMG! Sorry Jim! I thought you wanted to have s*x with her!" The 34 year old said "Oh I was going to do that, but you said it was wrong so I changed my mind."

Answer 7

I posted this previously on answers...made a lot of ppl laugh, my old roomy sent it to me.

Baked Beans

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.

When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme

sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home

from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that

I would be late because I had to walk home.

On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was

more than I could stand.

With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by

the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew

it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.

All the way home, I made sure that I

released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed

delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.

I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the

telephone rang.

He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and

went to answer the call.

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure

was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room

I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running

over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.

I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three

more. The stink

was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,

I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable.

When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my

freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on

my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and

pleased with myself.

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband

returned, apologizing for taking so long.

He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I

had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests

seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"

Answer 8

Knock Knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting Pirate!

Interrupting Pir—

Arrg!

Get it?  lolz, sorry.  I'm not good w/ this stuff.  XD

Answer 9

Divorce Letter  

Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.

I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.

These last two weeks have been h**l. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.  

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, Whatever the case is, I'm gone.



P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife



**********



....and the husband replied...

Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been.

I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it.

I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted.

My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla.  

I hope that's not a problem.



Signed Rich As h**l and Free!

Answer 10

so at my school, there are long flight of stairs in every corner. it was a normal school day when i was wearing my fishnets with heals. i was in a hurry trying to get to class running from the top floor to the bottom. this guy who i had a crush on, was on the first two steps walking up. i guess i wasn't paying attention to anything but him. and sure enough, i fell down those stairs, stopping right in front of him and having my fishnets caught on his jeans zipper. it took us a century to finally unhook them. that was the most embarrassing day of my life.