Are you afraid of romantic relationships?

Question

If so what is what makes you so afraid? Rejection, hurt, being played, other? And from where do you think this fear comes?

Thanks in advance

Answer 1

I'm not afraid of romance - it's the commitment thing that frightens me. I fear rejection.

My marriage failed, mostly because both of us were in denial of what was going on. Neither of us wanted to make the first move, but I tried so hard to salvage something that simply couldn't be. So I was the "bad guy" and walked away.

Answer 2

afraid of getting hurt

which is why i'm as tough as nails...got a suit of armor on all the time

Answer 3

I'm not great on the idea of commitment - I think it would make me feel trapped and stifled.  It probably wouldn't - but that's what puts me off the idea :-)

Answer 4

Yes, I have always been fearful and apprehensive before any new relationship.  I think my biggest fear is infidelity.  I'm not really sure where it stems from, considering most role models of my past have had healthy, stable relationships.  I have always had a jealous streak though, every since I was young, which I know has caused negativity in past relationships.  I'm working on my jealous streak though, and trying to be more trustworthy, especially to give the wonderful man I am currently dating, the benefit of the doubt.

Answer 5

at this point i just can't be bothered, im just to cynical, i have a close female friend but we are friends only. anything else for me shouldn't last more than eight hours and/or leave orange streaks of false tan all over my place.

i'm starting to believe that is is best to have a number of females close by who provide different types of relationships.

actually, i was sitting in a restaurant with the female friend i mentioned last weekend, we are close, share a bed sometimes, anyway, she was talking and couldn't hear anything she was saying because i just wanted to lean across the table and kiss her, i was also thinking about taking a ******* flower out of the vase on the table and putting it in her hair and that did frighten me!

Answer 6

If I was afraid of romantic relationships, I would not have settled down and conceived a son with my long time GF, LOL

Now, if I was single, I would only be wary of attempting on-line relationships, as you have all kinds of play babies on-line that have nothing better to do it seems than sit at the computer all day long making up new IDs & stories to go along with them, so you never know who the h**l you are really talking too, and if you are lucky, the worst you will leave with is a bruised ego after they get done playing with you.

Been there, but as the old saying goes, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

Answer 7

no, i love them :-) falling in love is the best feeling in the world! :-) it's definitely worth any hurt that follows (but then i haven't had my heart broken recently, so maybe i've just forgotten). i sometimes think though that some of my short-lived romantic relationships could have ended in a kind of slow sad deterioration which definitely wouldn't have been healthy. and why do we always fall in love at the worst possible times? now i'm in a stable relationship which admittedly has less fireworks but still plenty of romance. no, i fall into the 'it's better to have loved and lost' camp, definitely. thanks for asking :-)

Answer 8

I am afriad of romantic relationships because besides myself I have nobody in this world to take care of me.  So if I forget myself and indulge in romance and love and stuff with somebody else, I will lose myself and there will be nobody to look after me when I am lost and searching for myself.  At least now I am not lost and I am with myself and not alone.  I hope you understand.

Answer 9

Thanks, FH, for this opportunity to vent.  And thats exactly what this will be, so please feel free to ignore...

People who say they are afraid of love or have walls around their hearts are drama queens/kings - plain and simple.  We've all been hurt and disappointed by love, but as humans, we have been granted the great gift of healing and trying again.  

The amazing thing is that these same people who say they will not love or have no capacity for it are the very ones who continually get involved in relationships with others.  Who, in their right minds, wants to get involved with such a selfish and high maintanence individual???  

As for commitment - thats a whole different kettle of fish.  I completely understand a person's inability or lack of desire to commit their lives to another.  But to say that they are afraid of love or being hurt or being played...its all a bunch of bunk.  They need to grow up, stop thinking the world revolves around them and become a contributing member of society!

Whew...thanks...that felt good!

Answer 10

i'm not afraid of romance or even love... but i do fear commitment.

i just don't want to make a mistake and promise to spend my life with someone i won't always want to be with.  for starters it wouldn't be fair to him and i have a real aversion to b.s.  especially my own b.s.  not willing to fake it.

Answer 11

I am a coward in every respect.

My apologies for my cowardice and apologize to all members of this fine community.

Answer 12

On some level, yes. I'm somewhat afraid that if I give my love to someone, I won't get it back.

Answer 13

Nope. I guess if I was afraid of anything it'd be losing him....not from cheating or anything, but some freak accident that would cause his demise.

I try not to think of stuff like that too much though :)

Answer 14

yes. i just dont like all the drama that comes along with them.

Answer 15

Haha.  I just can't stay away from your questions Flyinghorse.  Yeah.  I'm kinda afraid of romantic relationships right now because I'm actually afraid of myself.  I'm not really a sociable person.  In fact, I have a friend in canada who I sorta expressed myself to (Meaning that I liked her a lot) but my feelings came out because she said that she liked some other guy.  So I just let her know since she wasn't getting my hints lol.  But anyway, yeah.  I'm really self conscious about being rejected or being cheated one or whatever.  It stems from looking at my parents (.....my dad cheated on my mom, but it's actually crazier than that.), low self confidence, and the fact that I need to work on myself before I can work with someone else :).   I don't think I'll be ready for love AND relationships for a while, especially since I got indirectly rejected by my friend. (I'm still friends with her but...it's kinda hard to be myself after that morning. )

Edit- Super Ruper :(...Why do I have to be a drama king?  Give an inch and they take a mile right? or am I wrong :(.  Sorry. I'm still a little sore.

Answer 16

After getting married, yes. I m scared I will mess up my marriage and above all, I m scared I would lose my peace of mind, if I get involved with someone else romantically, even if it is platonic.

Answer 17

No... but they can be annoying and inconvenient at times. Like when I meet a hot woman I want to sleep with and Oops!! I have a girlfriend...

But I'm not afraid of them. Now that I think about it.. I'm not afraid of most things.

Answer 18

I'm not afraid of romantic relationships (I'm married), but I am slightly uncomfortable with romance.  Every girl says they want romance - candles, wine, etc. - but I would feel really strange if my husband really tried all that.  Even when he tries saying romantic things to me, it makes me feel embarrased or something.  I have no idea where it comes from.

Answer 19

B HURTED...

Answer 20

As long as marriage isn't involved or the government doesn't try to redistribute property that I have earned..........nope.

Answer 21

Nope! you?

Answer 22

Terrified.

Trust is not my forte. I can't imagine wanting to trust another human.

Answer 23

Not at all i love them ,

The more the better