Are you an 'activity' mum or a relaxed mum?

Question

I am a stay at home mum (SAHM) and for the last 11.5 months my daughter and I have done lots of activities - like going for nature walks, playing house indoors etc but not gone to formal groups as such. Next week we are starting going to a messy art group, a music class and a swimming class which I'm really looking forward to but I was thinking, I know a few SAHM's and the way they do things are completely different. One has groups like the ones I mentioned planned for everyday of the week, another leaves her child to play alone a lot whilst she puts her feet up (not judging, she told me that!), another plays a lot with her child but mainly at home with little outside interaction. So what kind of mum are you? One who likes to have things planned for their child to do? Or one who goes with the flow more?

Answer 1

My daughter and I stay at home more than we go out but that has a lot to do with the fact that we don't have money for activities/classes. Don't get me wrong- we go for walks, go to the pool, and go to the park, but most days we spend a good amount of time at home. I think it also depends on the area in which the mother lives. I live in San Diego so we can always be outdoors and we have lots of things to do around here but most of the country doesn't have such nice weather or so many things to do. But yeah, we usually go with the flow and my daughter seems happy most of the time. She is very independent (11 months) and I think it is because I leave her to entertain herself a lot.

Answer 2

i'm not a sahm, but when we're home, we just do normal stuff, like laundry and dishes...and we play in between...i think it teaches her that it's not all fun and games and that it's important to be helpful and mindful...she loves to hand me clothes to hang up or fold...and LOVES to close the dishwasher and push the buttons to start it ;)

Answer 3

I'm sort of somewhere in between, I like taking my daughter places but i'm also worried that i'll over-stimulate her and I'm not convinced all these classes are particularly good for children (but I would never tell another mother not to do it!). I like some one-on-one with my daughter but also encourage her to play alone too - otherwise how else will I get the housework done! Not to mention she needs to get used to mummy not being there all the time as baby #2 should arrive soon. I take her to playschool so she gets to socialise without me, and we go swimming/the zoo etc together sometimes so she sees 'fun' mummy and not 'up-to-the-eyeballs-in-bloody-housework' mummy all the time!

Depends on the child, the family and in some cases, the financial status. Not everyone can afford to go out as much.

Answer 4

I dont have kids yet, but I would deffo be out goin to the park, swimming, walks, picnics etc with them, my own mum did that till I was about 3 and kinda gave up after that, my dad and granda always took me out when I was young and I would say I was closer to them back then than what I was to my mum and nana.  Not only do you get a better bond with your mum, it keeps you fit aswell, I think it would make you feel young too.  There will probably be times when I will put my feet up and let them play outside themselves, but Id deffo prefer to go and do stuff with them :)  

Answer 5

I consider myself to be both. I work all day long (8 am to 5:30 pm) and it kind of sucks that I can’t plan more outdoor activities with my son. My husband picks him up from daycare and takes him home and plays with him. Sometimes he’ll throw on a movie until I get home but for the most part, they rough-house for 45 mins till I walk in. If I’m doing something with dinner that my son can help with, we’ll do it together. Otherwise I’ll let him color or paint while we talk about his day and sing silly songs.

On weekends I’d say I’m more of a planner. I like to make a point to do things throughout the day. Playground hopping is our favorite! (If it wasn’t so flippin HOT outside (I live in FL) I’d spend more time outdoors during the day but sometimes it’s just too much to handle.) I’ve tried planning activities for us to do on rainy days (arts and crafts) but that doesn’t work out too well with a 21 month old. LOL. He always tears up the things I’ve worked SO hard on! :)

Answer 6

When I was a SAHM I was a bit in between. We went to the park, out shopping, met with other mums and kids to play (at either our house or theirs) and I'd take him to the indoor soft play area - but on some days we'd be lazy and just stay home and play in our PJs lol.

His godfather takes him out once a week too (or did when I was at home) and he'd take him to various places - the park, the aquarium, the zoo etc.

Now I'm a full time student at college and the kids are in nursery. The little one goes to Daddy on Tuesdays, and my eldest sees his on a Sunday. Saturdays we spend together just the three of us (me and the boys) at home, we go to the park and stuff but usually just spend time together. :)

Answer 7

I was quite unlucky actually.  For the whole first two years of my daughters life I was suffering with a bad back, going to and from hospital for a series of operations, which meant I couldn't get out with her as much as I'd like.  Most of our activities were indoors and things where I didn't have to get on the floor too much which pretty much limited it.  We have a lovely garden so she could get out there and play too but other than going to friends houses or having friends over we were pretty much stuck!  I do regret not doing as much with her as I perhaps should have but I physically couldn't.  I'm now 28 weeks pregnant with another little girl and am hoping my back will last out to allow me to do some things with both of my girls however i know its on the downward spiral again leading to more ops!  Thankfully I have a good imagination and always manage to keep her occupied!

Answer 8

My son just started preschool. I am also stay at home. Well, I am a student at a university. But, I used to drive myself crazy trying to analyze what other stay at home moms do! There would be those that just go and go and go, major soccer moms! Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you don't have to be like that to be a good mom. As long as you interact with your child and your child has what he or she needs, I think you're fine. It sounds like you're doing a great job! I just put my son in preschool because I think 4 is a good age to get started learning and interacting with other kids to develop social skills and academic skills. I didn't feel like our house can offer all of that.. But, I would say that I am one who goes with the flow while interacting with him and making sure he has what he needs. We still like to take him out for fun and spend time together as a family. But, we also have to make time for ourselves.

Answer 9

I play with my daughter when she wants and sometimes she wants to play on her own. I try to take her for walks but when in put her in the stroller the sh** hits the fan lol

Answer 10

How old is your child?

Answer 11

I'm a little of both.  I love doing fun activities with my children, but I also think its important for them (and me!) to have "downtime" and they play independantly.  Some of my best childhood memories was unstructured playtime with my sisters.  So I think a balance is good.