Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Or are you a realist?

Question

I'm old enough to have seen quite a few things that were pretty discouraging--the nuclear arms race comes to mind.

I've been in a war, had a few car accidents, been divorced, had a couple of kids, seen economic hard times, watched gas prices increase more than tenfold.

But I still think the good times outweigh the bad. And somehow we always manage to come through without damaging ourselves too badly.

When I consider a decision I look at the upside, the downside and weigh my options. And usually things turn out okay.

How about you? Are you a happy hoper or an unhappy moper? Would I love being around you or would I want to shoot myself after about ten minutes?

Answer 1

I am what I would call a realistic optimist.  Optimists tend to believe in free will; they believe things can be made better than they are expected to be.  Pessimists tend to be determinists; they believe “whatever will be will be” and there’s not much they can do about it.

I don’t believe we can afford to be pessimists, to just sit back and wait for things to happen.  We may not be able to affect the course of a tornado that’s heading our way, but we can make sure we have access to a shelter if it does arrive in our neighborhood.  

If you spent ten minutes with me you might (just might) want to shoot yourself.  But it’s more likely that you would want to shoot ME!  :)

Answer 2

It's about perceptions.  Let's say that life is good, gas is always in the car tank, beer is always in the fridge, and the kids are always out of trouble.  Then you find out that an asteroid is due to hit the Earth in the year 2023.  Is life still good?  The fact is, from day to day, life can be mostly good, if we didn't worry so much about the future.  An optimist believes that it will always work out somehow, a pessimist believes that disaster is around the corner, and a realist believes he is a realist, regardless of what he thinks the outcome will be.  I believe that I am a realist, I know that life is usually pretty satisfactory on a day to day basis, but nonetheless the comfort of knowing that the future is secure always seems to elude me.  it forces me to be proactive, to be roused from complacency.  It's like trying to enjoy that bottle of beer while wondering if that ugly call is about to come in.

Answer 3

I'm a realistically optimistic pessimist. ha :D

Actually, I'm naturally a devil's advocate. I see things from different points of views, and ultimately decide which I would benefit from more. Like if it would be better to be optimistic or pessimistic in a certain situation. I guess that's called a realist? But not exactly, because a realist doesn't really let feelings influence an outlook. But I sometimes allow myself to let my feelings take over even if I know something is not a realistic possibility.  Ultimately, I have a somewhat pessimistic countenance (or so I've been told), but I can be resonably positive.

However, I am in no way unhappy. I'm usually pretty content with myself. So would you love being around me? I don't know. I'm pretty quiet at times, because I like to listen to what others say. I think that's beneficial. But I do like to question things. So if you're generally an out spoken optimistic person, then you may find that I will often provide you with the pessimistic/realistic point of view on the matter.

But if you are often pessimistic then you may find that I will provide the optimistic/realistic point of view.

Answer 4

For the most part I am optimist to a fault. I usually this the best will be the result. Once in a awhile my feeling become hurt and I am shocked at the way people will behave towards me and others.. I have on occasion cried it out then brushed it off and go on with my life. I am always being told that I smile all of the time! I have had many hardships like you but I can't help but smile because besides the occasional hurt I look on the sunny side of life.

Answer 5

Were on the same page.

Life goes on whether your happy or not, so you might as well pick the best choice for the future.

everyone feels they are a realist, and others are not

Answer 6

Now that I have come to terms with my divorce I am forever the Optimist!

Answer 7

I am a realist. If I know what's in front of me and I know where things are going, and can plan accordingly, I do better.

This isn't so much with things that I really can't control or things that are outside of the scope of directly affecting me, but things that are sort of dumped on my plate as a challenge as to how I am going to deal with them.

I've also gained an incredible amount of perspective that a lot of people who are young or who haven't dealt with the same kind of experiences cannot see just simply for not having to walk the road that comes over several years time.

I've survived the loss of a child. Last year my son died in February. It's amazing how suddenly everything else is nowhere near as important as it used to be. And also how suddenly I have very little patience for people who have had nothing but ease that has resulted in unrealistic expectations. I'm facing the possibility of a lifetime disability for another child of mine. She will be born in August and we found out yesterday the significance of a tumor growing on her spine, yet I am amazingly calm about it. I feel like with her, she has a chance at living, whereas my son didn't. I know the details of her condition and the possibility that she may die from it. I didn’t have any of the knowing with my son….it was suddenly thrust upon us and we had to deal with it that way. In this, knowing is comforting.

I've grown tremendously while standing up to a bully I was married to for 18 years. All through our divorce and my breaking away from his abuse, I felt the power of my own choices in that I had the power to stop living like I was and find safety and peace for me and my kids from that marriage. It was a painful breaking away, but worth every single moment of struggle because it defined who I really was and the person I had become….and I discovered I liked her.

I've raised two children to adulthood, with three more soon on the heels of the older two. With my 18-year-old son, who moved out of my house last year due to our own conflict, I learned that he is a person just trying to find his way, like I still am at the age of 40. I've learned that his choosing a path I didn't envision for him or even one that I didn’t approve of much, wasn't a rejection of me or the things I tried to teach him, but just one thing in a process of defining his own person, separate from me. That one, has been a particularly hard one to learn, but real....concrete.....genuine. I can deal with it.

Everything else....gas prices, government, nuking Iran, the free world, global warming. None of it really matters to my life in the end. They're just the things that are the by-lines and the plot for the story of my life. And everyone else has a story too. The things that are important....the relationships that we form with those closest to us, the way we communicate with our neighbors, how we contribute to our communities, and what we teach each other through applying what we've learned, THESE are the elements that define our pessimism or our optimism or our realism.

Answer 8

I am a HAPPY HOPER!  Like Obama says his oponents say, "The audacity of HOPE"   What is rude, or bold about

wanting to regain our HOPE and Excitement for life and our country??  

You would love to be around me because I always look for the good in a trying situation.  Example of every day life STUFF:  My car doesn't start;  first thing I say is, "Thankyou God for allowing my problem to happen here at home where I

can get help.",  If I have (0) change for a meter (MONEY PERIOD)  I pray for a meter with time on it; and guess what I find one.

I do not believe in coincidence.  I do believe if as many people as possible that have taken Oprah's seminar (FREE TO US)  It would have cost me thousands for the knowledge I learned from not allowing the EGO to run my life;  I am learning to be still; and the "The SECRET" book I play on a CD;  to help me stay away from the past pain-bodies and

not dwell on what hasn't taken place yet, and live in the NOW-PRESENT;  In the Bible it tells us not to worry about yesterday or tomorrow, for today is enough challenges to face; and HE promised to help us in the NOW!

Thanks for asking this ? I feel people need to try it "Living in the NOW"; think about it, you get up in am, your mind is already on the way to work, as you pour your coffee you are already drinking it; try watching each step (Not naming I am getting a cup, just do it and be in the moment, this is living in the NOW.)  Peace!!

Answer 9

Some of the time I'm quite pessimistic - but not in an unhappy and depressive way. I expect the worst of most situations because I automatically base it on past experience - but then if I put my mind to it I get Optimistic and confident and feel anything is possible - which isn't far from the truth. That feeling lingers for a couple of weeks mostly.

Answer 10

I think that life is full of ups and downs and its not always going to be ups.  I believe the downs are there to teach us something and that they are a blessing in disguise, so even the down things are good for you. Like I had a car accident a couple of weeks ago and I was upset initially, but I found myself thanking God that he put me in this situation in order to be a better driver. I didn't realize I had a problem driving on curves.

I think that every hardship I have faced has taught me something, made me stronger, contributed to my "life experience"  and was a blessing in disguise.

I also believe in weighing your advantages verses disadvantages in decision making.

Answer 11

I'm a realistic optimist.

I have a basically optimistic personality, but it's important to be realistic, and not expect everything to always be rosy.

"or would I want to shoot myself after about ten minutes?" LOL. No. I'm not usually a downer.

It's important not to be insane -- hence the realism. But it's not realistic to always expect the worst, either.

I really am inclined to think that a person's place on the optimism -- pessimism scale is more a matter of inborn temperment than conscious choice.

Answer 12

A realist that believes a balance can be achieved despite the chaotic forces that go against us, which cannot always be avoided, we can only do our best in the variable circumstances.

Answer 13

My Husband always remarked about how Positive I am. He would even say this in his Sermons sometimes. Since his death of a massive stroke I sometimes mope because I miss him so much. I am happy to have a wonderful circle of friends who keep me active so I don't think about Frank. But yes I am very much the optimist.

Answer 14

i am not sure what i am...i guess i could be all three depending on the situation...i just do the best that i can and live...

Answer 15

I consider myself optimist. But then I have never been in situations that you have gone through. So I haven't experienced the worst extremities that could make me bitter. There were hard times but nothing damning. There were plans that didn't come to fruition. But then there were some other unplanned joys. So on the basis of my 30-years-old life,  I would agree with you when you say good times outweigh the bad. The recent economic downturn is worrying but making certain changes in my lifestyle can see me through safely. On the whole I am optimistic!

Answer 16

I am the eternal optimist!

Answer 17

I am something between optimist and realist

Answer 18

you would get fed up with me in a matter of seconds.

im a bitter pessimist...

Answer 19

I think I am a realist.  I see things for what they are and not necessarily what they could or should be.  At times I am a bit cynical but most people just laugh.  I don't really mope around.   Sometimes I get down I say life sucks, lets go eat and keep it going.  I dont focus on fanatsies and dreams.  It is what it is.

Answer 20

I see myself as an optimist but also a realist.

I am pragmatic and realistic but at the same time, I am optimistic. Life is a "self fulfilling prophesy". If one expect the bad - no matter what happens - one will look at it as being bad. When it rains - it rains. Raining is neutral but it can be seen as BAD to people who want to have a picnic but good if you are a farmer. So, it is better to keep optimistic.

You would love being around me.

Cheers from Australia

Answer 21

Good for you! Your attitude to life gives me hope that I won't become a grumbling pessimist when I'm old.

To be honest, I would have to say that my state of mind depends entirely on my mood. Overall, I would say I'm almost always hopeful and optimistic with a fondness for the little pleasures in life, but there are times when I think it's not worth getting out of bed in the morning.

You're absolutely right about one thing - whatever the present difficulties, I've found that it's not nearly half as bad I thought a few months down the line.

Answer 22

Interesting question. Personally, I'm now more of an optimist. The reason being is when, for a short period in my past, I was pessimistic and very critical of life or other people my situation worsened, I made people around me feel depressed, I felt depressed and, as a result, life did not seem like a gift but a punishment.

However, there is a little more light than darkness, metaphorically speaking.

With so many people in the world, one must also acknowledge that each and every person has had negative life experiences, and that each person would (*possibly*) at one point in their life genuinely believe that they are the most unlucky person in the world, or just pose "why me?"

Billions of people pose that question and billions still think (even if to the tiniest extent) that there is something good about life.