Are you glad i may not be here for three days ?

Question

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Sorry, wrong door.

Okay.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Federal Express

Federal Express who?

I don’t know. I just deliver packages.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Tom.

Tom who?

Tom Buchanan.

Hi Tom.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Pizza delivery guy.

Pizza delivery guy who?

You ordered a pizza?

Yes.

I’m the guy delivering it.

Great.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Susan.

Susan who?

Susan Caldwell.

I’ll be right out, Susan.

Knock, knock

Who’s there.

You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable.

You might be a redneck if… you think tobacco is a vegetable who?

I thought this was a redneck joke.

Nope. It’s a knock, knock joke.

Oops.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Boo

Boo who

Don’t get so upset, crybaby!

What?

Ha! Ha! I made you say “boo-hoo”

You’re a real idiot.

That wasn’t necessary.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Creeping p***s.

Creeping p***s who?

I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

Knock, knock

Yo mama

Yo mama who?

Yo mama so fat, she caught a flesh-eating virus and that was three years ago.

I bet you’re fat, huh?

I’m…

You are, aren’t you? Fat!

I’m plumpish.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

FBI!

…

…

Hello? FBI! Let us in!

…

…nobody here…

Oh. Let’s go boys!

(Phew!)

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

There’s a dead old woman in your driveway.

There’s a dead old woman in your driveway who?

No. Seriously. There’s a dead old woman in your driveway.

Actually, that’s just my p**s-drunk bar s**t of a grandmother. She sells toothless mouth love for “mind eraser” shooters at the Tyson’s Mall TGIFriday’s. Let the w***e sleep it off.

Knock, knock

Who’s there?

Henry.

Henry who?

Henry Kissinger. Did you know that power is the ultimate aphrodisiac?

I’m not opening the door Henry.

d**n.

Knock, knock

Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH!

Tremble mortal and despair – it is I, THE ANGEL OF DEATH who?

Actually, I’m here for Jones in #D1 but I need to take a monster c**p and I hate to kill and THEN use the bathroom, you know? Its rude and the other way around, well it ruins my dramatic entrance. So…

You want to use my toilet?

Yeah?

Go right ahead.

Got anything to read?

Just the crossword.

You finished it.

Sorry?

Hold my scythe.

Hey! Don’t forget to light a match.

Answer 1

Random...

Knock Knock

The door's open

Answer 2

Were gonna miss you, you crazy mixed up kid, hurry back,mate...!

Answer 3

umm wow

Answer 4

um honestly mate your previous work was spot on- it could be because i dont like knock knock jokes or something but im still a HUGE fan ;p

lol, have a good day

Answer 5

A little smile.

It will take more than this to make me laugh today.

I'm not glad you are leaving for three days

Now I have to find someone else to make me laugh

Answer 6

heres one good one for you

knock,knock

who's there?

you know

you know who?

YES!Avada Kedavra!!!!!

lol...yeah....

Answer 7

in the words of john McEnroe you cannot be f...ing  serious man.

the house is full but the loft is empty

knock knock, if thats you jokeduck f**k off

Answer 8

ha ha ha funny

thanks for a laugh

Answer 9

Here comes a story of a very clever parrot. Rare species and  the parrot speaks very fluently and well. The owner was an American. His owner wanted to put the parrot on sale.

There comes a very rich customer. He is an Arabian. He has a secretary who speaks very fluent English to talk for him. Both parties started bargaining very hard on prices. The American offered US$800 while the Arabian counter offered US$380. The battle has been going on for 3 days. At last, both parties reached an agreement of US$500.

After one year, the Arabian owner, complained that his parrot stutter. He wants to return the bird to the American. And he  also wants the America to refund his USD500.

The American missed his parrot very much. But he found it surprised that his parrot could not speak well. When he listens very careful to what the Arabian tells him especially how he stammers that makes him loose his patience.

Of Course, the parrot is very jolly to be with his old owner again. What makes the American more surprised is the parrot can yell out loud,

`` F##k you idiot!``

``What?! Who the h**l teaches you say that?!``

Answer 10

haha best knock knock jokes ever

Answer 11

Knock, Knock

Who's there?

The Interrupting sheep.

The Interrupt..baaaaaaaaaaa

Answer 12

they seriously were poor

Answer 13

What a waste of time,  answer yes.

Answer 14

Ha ha ha.!!!

Cheers mate.!!!