Aren't friendships really using people?

Question

Aren't friendships really using people?

Answer 1

That is certainly one interpretation.  We as humans don't like this "social exchange theory", but reciprocity (doing something for someone with the expectation that he or she will return the favour in the future) is really for survival.  Love can be seen as the same way.  We obtain many things from friendship, and some come to an end if it is no longer fulfilling.  One could argue that doing a selfless act makes you feel good, so it is really a selfish act.  

But friendship is a great thing no matter how much we analyse it - some things are meant to just be enjoyed.

Answer 2

No not really. although u do stuff for one another.  It not really right to expect something from someone u helped ,but if you feel that you are doing alot for that person and not getting any appreciation they that's not a friend.

Answer 3

Yes, but there is an implicit agreement in friendship: "I use you, you use me."

At any rate, we all need each other and the benefits of having a true friend far outweigh the costs.

In an uncaring world, you need a friend you can trust. Don't be too analytical of this person's motives, simply because the relationship entails exploitation with consent--and that goes both ways, as I said.

For everyone else, skepticism is your best friend.

Answer 4

the philosopher Nietzche said that everything anyone does is to directly or indirectly benefit themself

Answer 5

Yes, but it's mutual.

Answer 6

in a nutshell it is, humanminds are some diverse that we do not focus time on such a common and everday affair, due to our socialization it is so wide spread that is overlooked...

Answer 7

i think so, but what matters to me is to what extent you use it.

Answer 8

Friendships are to enjoy other peoples company or conversation, yes this does benefit you in some way but EVERYONE experiences it and "benefits" from it. This is not a bad thing =]

Answer 9

I can't remember who, probably the first answer's person but in psychology I rememer a theory that everyone does everything to benefit themselves. Even a good deed or charity work, it's to make them feel good.

But with friendships as long as you are giving as much as that person then it's not using them.

Answer 10

No, friendships are what makes people get along.  Friendships aren't always easy to start and keep, but the feeling of having a friendships with someone is a good feeling for a person to have.