Aren't humans just chimpanzee version 2.0 (beta)?

Question

Frankly, I like the *old version* better. It's much friendlier, far less likely to crash, doesn't have "compatibility issues," doesn't chew up all your resources, and doesn't try to make all the competition obsolete.....

Answer 1

People are not chimpanzees.  Can a chimpanzee conduct an orchestra, write a play, or explain an issue in front of congress?  Yes, people can be destructive.  But have you ever looked at the good side of human nature?  There are a lot of good people out there, too.

Answer 2

Jeeze people, lighten up...  This was obviously written as a satirical joke in order to poke fun at some of the general characteristics that obviously consume many humans!

Although, for the sake of making your satire more "correct", you ought to use the bonobo as your model ie "Aren't humans just bonobo version 2.0 (beta)?" The reason why I say this is because bonobos are much friendlier, don't have as many "compatibility issues," don't excessively chew up resources, and don't try to make all the competition obsolete, unlike chimpanzees who are more antogonistic, fight more often (less compatible), fight more over mates and food resources, and conduct a lot of intra group alliances and intergroup warfare (trying to eliminate the competition).

But I'm quite willing to overlook the obvious fact that apes are not our common ancestor and that the overall character make up of both Humans and Chimpanzees/Bonobos (in my model) are seriously overgeneralized for the sake of satire!

Answer 3

is your avatar an upside down bear with plus signs in its eyes?

Answer 4

I'll be more precise: chimpanzee-gorilla version 2.0 service pack 47 :)  Stay alert to upgrade to the next service pack in a hundred years!

With the next service pack, if we survive the next big war, the compatibility issues will be minors...

Answer 5

Humans were never chimps although we share genetic ancestry.

Answer 6

MAYBE IT'S THE BONOBOO SPECIES THAT ARE 2.0 OF CHIMPANZEES.THERE'S AN ACTUAL SPECIES OF CHIMP THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF CHIMPS WHEN IT COMES TO BEHAVIOR.THEY WEREN'T EVEN RECONIZED AS DISTINT SPECIES UNTIL THE 1930's.IT's THE COMMON CHIMPS WHO ARE ACTUAL TERRITORIAL,AGGRESSIVE,MORE HOSTILE THAN THE LESSER KNOWN CHIMP SPECIES.MAYBE U OUGHT TO WATCH THE NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC CHANNEL MORE OFTEN MAYBE!? GO TO WWW. WIKIPEDIA.COM AND FINE OUT FOR YOURSELF AND THEN TYPE BONOBOO OR COMMON CHIMPANZEE

Answer 7

Your user manual is in error. Chimp 1.0 is rather prone to compatibility issues. It frequently conflicts with other copies of its own OS. It also tends to use resources over a wide range of sectors, causing fragmentation and even more conflicts. Chimp 1.0 may have a friendly user interface to the uninitiated, but a closer inspection will reveal that Chimp 1.0 has the ability to rip off a human arm like a fly wing, and will perhaps get the notion to do so if one were to violate the rather rigid, largely s*x-based, hierarchical social structure in even a minor way.

In other words, Animal Planet is only showing you the cute chimps who are in a good mood. They are just as competitive as all the other animals in the jungle, humans included. I prefer humans, who haven't actually shared an ancestor with chimps for several million years anyway. Calling humans Chimps 2.0 is a pretty big misunderstanding of the relationship involved.

Answer 8

Nope. A chimp doesn't have a soul. A chump does. A chump is a human being who hasn't a care for the worlds resources, whether they understand that they have a soul or not.

A chimp on the other hand doesn't have the ability to even understand world ecology. They just live like animals, happy with what they have.

Answer 9

Well, start by remembering that humans did not descend from chimps.  Rather, humans and chimps descended from a common ancestor.

The distinction that makes us human is that we are (self-) domesticated.  Apes are not domesticated.  If we ever domesticated an ape, we'd  get something a LOT more like us than like an ape.  Maybe they couldn't talk (limited pharangeal apparatus).  Maybe they wouldn't be as smart.  But they'd START resembling humans.

It's not clear how humans got quite so intelligent.  It seems to be an accelerating phenomenon.  Once you get a little bit smart, you value those who are a little bit smarter (but maybe not those who are so smart you find them threatening).  Smart animals can make tools.  Tools allow for better survival - hunting, manufacturing of artifacts, etc.

So, start with a computer program.  Allow it to change itself - "learn."  Eventually, you'll have a better computer program.  Better in what sense, is a question to be dealt with.

After all, apes may fight, but they don't conduct genocide.  

But that's another issue entirely.

Answer 10

hahahahaha, but version 1.0 likes to throw their fecal matter.