Aren't "Open Adoptions" and OPEN ADOPTION records making people adopt ABROAD?

Question

At least five families I know adopted in South America and FSU for that very reason.

You people demanding these "adoptees rights" are just making it harder for other American kids to get adopted.

Answer 1

Simple. American parents need to get used to the idea of open adoption.

Answer 2

I have no words.

OK, I have a few.

I did adopt internationally, but not in an effort to prevent my kids from knowing their families. We made contact with our kids' families and stay in touch.

Are these parents you refer to, who will go out of the country in order to try to deny their child any other roots but the ones they're grafting them onto - are they going to try to maintain the children's culture as they're supposed to do? I bet not.

Your question seems to say that you believe adoptions should be closed because then more US children would be adopted. Which ones?  I doubt these people are looking for older children because they might have memories of their families. If it's people adopting infants, from what I hear, there's no shortage of paps for infants in the US, so - No, open adoptions are not forcing people to go abroad.

Also - why do you put "adoptee rights" in quotes? Do you believe "human rights" deserve the little quotes too?  My kids do have rights, and I respect them, and think other people should too.

Answer 3

Excuse me?  You are not saying what I think you are saying.  People choose to adopt overseas for various reasons.  A majority is because they don't want to deal with "birth mama drama."  It sure isn't adoptee rights.  Anyway if you think adoptive parents own their kids, you need to read up slavery laws.  They don't exist any longer.  Most adoptive parents on this board don't think adoptee rights are all that bad.  In fact, I believe all living adoption should  have access to the records that they signed. Adoptive parents now get copies as well as natural parents.  Back in my day neither got a copy of it.  

Its the myths of adoption that the industry puts out itself that causes adoption to go down in the United States.  They put out that natural mothers are horrible people.  They are the ones that put out the double standard.

I am tired of hearing horror stories about adoptees, adoptive parents and natural parents getting hurt in the process of these industry folks making money.

Answer 4

"You people"?

Yes, we're the same sorts of people who wanted slavery to end, women to be paid the same as a man for the same work, and who believe that black people deserve to drink out of the same drinking fountains as white people do.  This is America, we're not supposed to have a class/caste system, are we?

There are few American kids to adopt!  Not the kind that most adopters want, anyway.  There ARE thousands of children in foster care who need parents.  But adopters are circling the globe to get children--why would that be?

I'm told it's because they want to give the kids 'better lives' and save them from dire circumstances.  So adoptees are at fault for fewer infant adoptions in the U.S?  That's cool.  Something I'm happy to take the blame for--children staying with their intended mothers.

But it's never the 'fault' of the people creating the demand for children--is it?

Answer 5

Are you kidding?  Do you know how much demand there is for infants here in America?  The supply can not feed the demand.

People are literally standing in line, waiting for years on lists to get an infant domestically.  And they pay outrageous fees to do so.

The reality is that children are not commodities.  Adoptees are not property.  We have a right to our records . Period.

People who disagree are welcome to go elsewhere and adopt.  That is their choice.  Although I have to say that may not keep their children from knowing their pasts eventually.  Most of these countries DO keep some records, you know.  

It's not like first parents in the international sector disappear into the ether.  They can and often are easily found with a little bit of diligence.

I'm not sorry that these pesky adoptees' needs to have the same rights as every other is making people stop and think about what adoption really is.

And incidentally, open adoption was created by adoption agencies in the mid seventies when they noticed a drop in women relinquishing.  It is a marketing ploy THEY developed to encourage more women to relinquish when their healthy baby supply was running dry.  And the most ironic part is that Open Adoption in most states isn't even legally enforceable.  It's still technically a closed adoption in that adoptive parents have full rights and can legally close the adoption at any time.  Unfortunately, most mothers who relinquish aren't told that part.  Sucks to be them.

If you have a problem with open adoption, perhaps you should talk to the industry.  They came up with the idea.

Answer 6

I do know that there are some very selfish people who don't want to admit that their adopted children have other family.  However, that's not stopped domestic adoptions one bit.  There is no shortage of PAP's looking to adopt domestically.  Check with the agencies who do them and you'll know this.

Equal treatment under the law certainly hasn't changed the rates of any other activities people feared it would.  Adoptions haven't decreased nor have abortions increased in the states that have re-instated equal rights.  The state Websites have data on this.

ETA:

Let's take Oregon, for example.  In November of 1998, Oregon voters passed Measure 58, which reopened records to adults adopted citizens.  Looking at the adoption rates in Oregon, it's clear this hasn't caused a problem.

The number on the left is the number of adoption in the fiscal year.  The number on the right is the fiscal year reported.

523  --                    1995

558   --                   1996

849   --                   1998

922   --                   1999

831    --                  2000

1,071    --               2001

1,118    --               2002

854      --                2003

943      --                2004

1,029      --             2005

1,096   --                2006

Answer 7

"Rights" in quotation marks?  Do you have a right to a copy of your own birth certificate or just a wink wink so-called "right"?  Why should I have any fewer rights than anyone else?

Some people, like some of the answerers here, adopt overseas for reasons that are not self-centered at all.  Sounds to me like you know five incredibly selfish, insecure and entitled families.  I've never met any such people in real life, but I know they exist.  Sometimes they just don't know any better ("I didn't want the first mother to show up three years down the road and take her kid back," which doesn't happen in legal adoptions), and sometimes they know perfectly well what they're doing but don't care ("My foreign baby means I won't have to worry about a first mother at all, so I don't mind sacrificing the child's heritage, culture, and language of origin so I can feel more secure.")  

Saying my fight for my rights hurts other adoptees/would-be adoptees is tantamount to saying that "those uppity civil rights types" caused African-Americans who "knew their place" to get lynched during the Civil Rights era.  It's mistaken, bigoted, and backward.  You're swimming against a turning tide, and you and those like you will get tired long before we do.

Answer 8

Yes, you're right.  For those who want to pretend that they are the ONLY family a child has (thereby denying them the right to know their own roots), we are making it harder.  But the people who want to deny their children basic human rights shouldn't be able to adopt from ANY country.

When you adopt a child, that child has two families, whether you want to admit it or not.  Sounds to me like someone never learned to share.  Go back to kindergarten.  Valuable lessons can be learned there.

Answer 9

No, no and he double toothpicks NO!

I find "adoptees rights" in quotes highly offensive and belittling.  Give me one good reason why any American should be denied their civil rights?  With liberty and justice for all, oops except you and you and you. What about our right to petition?  How very unamerican of you.  

How in the world would open adoptions and open records make it harder to adopt American kids?  We adopted an American child thru open adoption and we have all of her records.  The adoption was actually very easy.

We did adopt internationally but not for your silly reasons.  We still have to send at least 6 picts and write a letter every six months to the Ethiopian Government which then gets forwarded to our daughters first family.

I'm sure there are people who shallow and self-centered enough to adopt overseas just for the reasons you stated and you probably know all five of them.  Most adoptive parents want what is in the best interests of our children.  That being open adoptions and open records.

Not meaning to be rude but i find your question quite offensive and it really hit a nerve.

Answer 10

Well, I actually think it is true that some parents adopt internationally to have separation from birth parents.  But, it is also true that semi-open adoption are becoming more common internationally.  A big factor in our choice of country programs was that it (Taiwan) would be a semi-open adoption with birthparent contact through the facilitator.  I also know of many people who have adopted from Guatemala who have a semi-open adoption with birthparents and families who have adopted internationally often keep in contact with prior caregivers their child had.  I think adoption is opening up everywhere.  I don't think the trend of open adoptions in the U.S. will make more people adopt internationally.

Answer 11

Nobody is MAKING these people adopt abroad.  They are CHOOSING to adopt, and CHOOSING to adopt in such a way to try to keep the illusion that these are their children and their children alone.  If people are adopting abroad to avoid having to deal with first families, that sounds like the height of selfishness and insecurity to me.

Are you suggesting that we force closed adoptions on families that want open adoptions?  Are you suggesting that adoptees should be treated like second class citizens because some people are insecure in their relationships with their adopted children?  I'm sorry, I'm not trading in my civil rights because some people aren't confident in their relationships.

Answer 12

I can assure that "open adoptions" and "open records" where not the reason I am adopting abroad.

Your last statement is a red herring, there is no proof that "adoptee rights" are making it harder.

ETA:  Please site your source that indicates "adoptee rights" are making it harder for American kids to get adopted.

Answer 13

no

Answer 14

Reinstating Adoptees' rights to be equal to those of other citizens is causing this.   I think not.    What is causing this are the fears and selfishness of some adopters who want "sole ownership" of a child

Do you have any proof that adoptions have declined in the very few States which have reinstated equal rights for Adoptees.   Just look at Laurie DB's example of Oregon

That is one of the cruelist things I've ever heard.  I hope it backfires on them big time.

These five families are obviously only thinking of their own wants and needs and not thinking of the Adoptee at all.   That kind of 'conditional' love is cruel and just plain nasty.   I hope those kids find their families some day and turn their backs on the heartless people who adopted them for their own gain

Answer 15

Why would you think that open birth records is ruining the adoption industry? It pertains to when an adoptee legally becomes an adult.

There is no more threat in an adoptee getting their original birth certificate than you getting yours.

If you really think this is a threat why is it that birth records are sealed between the years of 1945 and 1980? What about all the rest of the adoptee's born before or after these years? are they not a threat as well?

What about the FACT that a birth certificate does not seal until an adoption has been finalized?

Your friends adopted abroad for other reasons.

Adoption has taken a turn in the last few decades. More women are keeping and raising their babies because the stigma of unwed mothers is gone. If you are really interested in this you might want to read up on the baby scoop era, this is where the real issues lie. Ask yourself what happened back then that would make it neccessary to seal adoption records and OBC'S.

Something stinks and it's not the diapers.

Answer 16

Open adoptions and open records had nothing to do with our decision to adopt from overseas.  I can't speak for anyone else, but it wasn't a factor for us.

Answer 17

I know a couple who adopted abroad for that very reason.  They're not selfish -- they're very loving but it's also their child to raise as they see fit and that's what they're doing.

Answer 18

Ahhh, so your arguing that these parents have the right to OWN these children to the exclusion of their NEEDS.  Adoptees need access to information about who they are and where they have come from.  As for knowing what Im talking about, IM ADOPTED, ARE YOU?

Answer 19

You seem to be saying that you know 5 different couples who are bad candidates for adopting because they do not respect children as individual human beings and yet have managed to work the system into getting children anyway.

You will be turning them in to the authorities, right?

Remember, adoption isn't about finding children for adults who want them.

Answer 20

I know tons of folks who adopted internationally and have never heard this as a reason.  Lets also not totally confuse fully open adoption and open adoption records as the same thing.