Arguing with Robert Frost (3rd try). Did I win?

Question

The less travelled road

made all the difference.

Each path we choose

(or is chosen for us)

could lead onward to joy

or to sorrow, because

we have no way of knowing.

We can only guess

when on this path we tread

whether ultimately we'll lie

in a smooth

or a crumpled bed.

This rests in the hands of fate.

Once that bed is made

we must lie in it and wait

to see what each morning brings.

Grey Autumn day or

Fresh crocus' Spring.

But, I ask -

why no retracing steps?

We can grasp fate by the throat

Say 'I'm in command'

And

rise from our bed

return to the fork in the road.

Take the well travelled path

And see where that leads...

instead.

Answer 1

You mistook your mistakes

On the less traveled road.

Deal with it.

Ok, not as eloquent as Frost surely. I love the flow of it. Just think that I interpreted the road less traveled differently when I first read it. Cheers, Stay strong.

Answer 2

well done you did.very well.

Answer 3

I dunno- you present your case for the travelling of roads, all well and good, but Frost's poem doesn't come across to me as an argument to be beaten out, it seems more whimsical to me. "I took the road less travelled by, and that has made all the difference." but the difference between what? He doen't say if it's a good or bad result. Surely he's more making a point about the way nostalgia and regret works- whatever road you travel by, you can end up wishing you had taken the other.

Did you beat Frost? Nah, not for me, but then, he`s a bit of an idol for me. You have achieved fluidity, and introduced some rhyme, but he has natural speech, tight rhyme, and follows iambic pentameter across four neat stanzas. His imagery is introduced immediately, but yours takes until the end of the first stanza to kick in, and even then it is brief. I wish I had my book of Frost with me now, ah, that one about where he meets a tree in a swamp and has a conversation with it is one of my favourites.

Answer 4

I am not going to google to do the side by side because as I read this, to me, it flows well and presents the argument.  My compliments.

Edit:  Jeff, you are off in this in your comments.  Read again.  This flows well.  Where are you coming from????

Answer 5

Yes you did, very much so. I've often thought that the road less travelled is held only in the mind, this illustrates that well. And your last stanza is impacting. We can grasp fate by the throat, though we do not want to.

Answer 6

This is an ingenious poetic conceit. However the herky-jerky rhythm of it indicates that the poetic road upon which you chose to travel is unpaved and full of pitfalls. Maybe you should follow your own advice, and pave the way with a smoother meter. Nevertheless, the idea is so compelling, that I was more than happy to put up with all those jolts and bumps.

Answer 7

yes you won

Answer 8

Thanks, Granny, for a brilliant reminder that we are responsible for ourselves, for our choices, for our plans and our dreams.

Neither god nor the devil made you do a thing, you did it, earn the credit, take the blame.

Answer 9

Well, shucks, I liked it.  Robert Frost, eat your heart out GJ has bested ya.