Arranged Surrogacy and the fine-line of "gifts" for the surrogate parent.?

Question

What is the legal "fine line" between a illegal vs legal gift for a surrogate couple contracing out an offspring to a future couple looking for adoption.

I am clueless on the subject--looking for surface-level-information on the subject.

Also, why is it more immoral for a random college husband + wife to have a child for a good, clean couple when it is done "on purpose" as opposed to a 15 year old girl getting knocked up, and the girl is trailor trash, and the "father" is like a 22 year old trailor trash, and the baby already has HPV and the mother probably lives in a trailor filled with people who smoke and she might smoke also.

To me, the "lesser of 2 evils" is the baby from the open-minded college kids--who have possibly better genetic traits to pass on to the baby.

PLEASE I AM NOT PROPOSING THIS

I posted this question in PHILOSOPHY--where it belongs--but they told me to post it here, and not there. They also said it has no philosophical merit and its just stupid.

Answer 1

As a birth mother I take umbrage at the suggestion that I and those like me are trailer trash.   I had a nice home with no smoking or drinking stay at home mom etc.  I made some bad choices but I really can't blame my environment.  God knows my parents tried.

Check the stats, it's not just poor kids getting pg.  It's all across the board.  Be careful how you frame things it makes you sound ignorant.  If you want my take on things birthmothers are saints (not just because I am one) for taking a bad situation and turning it into something blessed.

Also it's cheaper for someone to just adopt or use a surrogate than to pay for your education.

Answer 2

I think you're misunderstanding the difference between surrogacy and adoption. There is no such thing as a "surrogate couple". A surrogate mother can carry a child that is not biologically hers, or where they use her egg and the intended father's sperm, for a couple. If a husband and wife concieve a child for another couple to raise, it is adoption whether it was planned or not.

A surrogate can recieve compensation for the couple "borrowing use of her body" for a while. From what I've heard surrogate fees usually range from $10,000-$20,000 for first time surrogates. However, as mentioned by someone else, this is not easy money. It will take about a year of her time, require her to recieve fertility treatments and if gestational surrogacy she'll need regular injections (over 100), there are also physical, reproductive and emotional risks involved.

As far as the senario you asked about; no, there is nothing immoral about a couple having a child for another infertile couple on purpose. What is immoral is if they are doing this for financial compensation, which is selling a baby. Also, it's troublesome to me that you think that someone deserves to be able to "sell" their child because they are  "good college students", and therefore better then those you consider to be "trailer trash" who've experienced an unexpected pregancy.

As both an adoptive mother and a college student whose husband will soon have to get loans to afford med school (just like everyone else) I definetly don't think an exeption should be made for a couple like this. Adoption can be expensive enough with out having to worry about biological parents wanting money to pay for college.

Answer 3

They generally have agency and stuff for this and they screen the potential parents for you. the surrogate mother can provide the egg and the womb or just the egg. The surrogate mother would be compensated some for her time. I am not sure how much. I think women who sell there eggs can get around 15 thousand or something along those lines The 15 year old girl and the 22 year old boy as you put it, would be providing a child for adoption if they so choose to give the child up.They would be given nothing for giving the child up except to know the baby will be taken care of.

Being a surrogate or selling your eggs is more about helping someone rather than looking for away to pay for college. It puts a lot of wear on your body and you will have to take fertility drugs and go in for a lot of blood test and ultrasounds etc.  In the end, if you looking for an easy dollar, you will find yourself probably feeling cheated. Some places you can sell your blood plasma and make about 500 a month but you get a lot of bruises on your arms.  Going to college and raising a family is tough and takes sacrifice but it can be done. Take it one day at time.

Answer 4

I dont think theres anything wrong with people opting to be surrogate parents.  If they are going through an agency and have everything pre-arranged before getting pregnant, thats wonderful that a couple could have a baby for another couple that is unable.  On the other hand, if a couple gets pregnant without prearrangement, and then tries to find someone who wants their child after the fact, in exchange for money...yes there is something wrong with selling children.  

As for your trailer trash example....typically in that scenario if the pregnancy is an accident and is unwanted, adoption is the route that would be investigated, not surrogacy.

As for what is considered legal, you may want to contact a company that helps match surrogate mothers to couples who are in need of a surrogate mother.  They would be able to give you an idea as to what is normally paid or gifted in exchange for carrying a child.

Answer 5

There is a difference between adoption and surrogacy.

When you place a child for adoption, it is YOUR biological offspring which is usually the result of an unexpected pregnancy.  Some states allow the adopting parents to pay for some of the biological Mother's expenses during the pregnancy-such as prenatal care, housing, food, etc. (all within reason).  A lot of states forbid even that, as it could be construed as bribery.  That is why some adoption agencies have programs for the birth Mothers, and part of the fee the adopting parents pay to the agency is for her care.

In surrogacy, you are usually carrying a child for another couple that is NOT biologically yours.  You are just the incubator, in a sense.  If the child is biologically yours, it is not surrogacy-it is adoption.  The laws surrounding these two options of growing a family are very different.  In surrogacy, the Mother carrying the child is sometimes carrying the baby that is the biological offspring of the intended parents, or sometimes the baby is the result of donated sperm and eggs from yet two other people (resulting in five parents, per se).  But again, the baby is NOT the biological offpsring of the surrogate Mother.

The laws surrounding surrogacy are probably somewhat more "lenient".  I know that surrogate mothers are usually paid for carrying the child to term, wheras with adoption there can be no payments to the birth mother.  However, there are still laws in place to protect all involved.  The laws vary from state to state, and in some states surrogacy is illegal.

The difference between a married couple having a child purposefully opposed to a fifteen year old getting pregnant accidentally is this: the married couple purposefully created a life with the intent to give it up (in this scenario, it would be in exchange for "gifts" or a loan to pay for college).  It is baby selling, morally and legally.  The fifteen year old has accidentally gotten pregnant and is doing what is best for the child given her situation.  She will place the child for adoption and receive no reimbursement.  The situation did not happen for her in the first place, in order to "get something".  

I hope this helps.