Arranged marriage hubby doest support in nething listens to his parents & wnt me to quit job & sit at home?

Question

how to tackle ,in laws cming in between for all cause let it be personal too personal things also

Answer 1

Well, if your husband would really love you then he would not put you in such a situation... loving means respect the other persons wishes and ideas about life.

But I guess you know the answer as well... this is what happens in many arranged marriage.

And that´s why parents still want their children to accept arranged marriages.

This way thy still can decide over their children’s life and a wife / husband will never be that important to stand up for her / him.

It´s as simple as that.

Your husband wants you to live the way his parents wants you live because it´s his parents who do decide over both of you.

Don´t expect your husband to change.

You have to change.

I guess you know what your rights are and that nobody can legally force you to leave a job if you don´t wish to do so.

The only thing you have to say is “no”.

The same way you decide over your body and when you will get pregnant.

Don´t think that everything is over, you still can choose.

As long as you are still financially independent you have the chance to choose how you want your life to be. (And they do know that and that´s why they try to turn you down).

I would say that a baby would make the situation even worse now.

Your in-laws would raise the baby the way THEY want. Not you. And your husband would be even happy this way as it is his parents…

Decide what you want.

Living like this for the rest of your life?

Or living your life?

You know what you should do if you decide for your own life and for a chance to find somebody who respects you and loves you, right?

Get a divorce and never accept again that other people arrange your life against your own will. Don´t be a victim anymore – be a winner.

Good luck.

Answer 2

try n talk to ur husband try n convince him tell him that he shud stand up for u if he luves u n cares for u...n trust me DONT GIVE IN & DONT GIVE UP ur job under pressure if u do it once thats what they will expect u to do every time...stand up for urself today its ur job tommorow it cud be ur parents then ur freinds ur interests anything so try n convince him if he doesnt then c what the concequences are n move forward...

Answer 3

You have really difficult situation. Try to convince your husband,tell to him why you do not like to quit the work,tell him why it is good if you work,tell him that leaving work  makes you very unhappy. May he will understand you. Anyway it is not good that you did not talk about that matter before married. It is very serious matter,very basic.

Answer 4

its would nice to talk about women freedom & other things about women contribution to the society , but the reality is that you have dedicated your life to hubby , their surroundings, then yours and then to soceity.

So be cautious in taking decisions

I personally feel as every man as there dream, aim, lakshya, target etc

women have too

but few people think in this fashion

Think all consequences before taking decisions  

Answer 5

Hi, How old r u both and since when u r married? such things r common in Indian marriage. Be happy that ur hubby and inlaws r not after ur money. May be they want to take over the responsiblities of managing the home. That wil sure be a full time job.

After marriage, sure we need to compramise few things to settle down for a happy family life. Understand that objective of the marriage is to be together, laed a happy family and see the needs of the family rather than seeing what you need as a individual. Talk to any of ur frnds or relatives who stayed home after marriage. Sure they will say it is much better as long as financially they r good. If your hubby can support the family needs why you hv to slog around to make few extra thousands? Once you have a kid, sure ur kids needs u full time. Nothing can replace MOTHER. Think abt females leave the kid with inlaws or in baby home and run around for job. Do u think they will be comfortable to do so? Never, and they r forced to do it for some reason. When you have the option for a comfortable life ahead, accept it.  When you r newly married, most important is to make ur hubby and inlaws accept you as a good wife and daughter in law. It is like, the first impression always matters. Accept what they say and make them  give you the responsiblity of being a good house wife. As the days goes you will sure enjoy being in a position where they look for your decision in every small issues also.

May be u can msg me in YM if u wish

my id is frndly20052010

Answer 6

flow with the flow yaar.. flow with the flow.

Answer 7

Stand your ground. Do not quit your job just to be little ms perfect house wife that he wants.

Answer 8

You want to have an arranged marriage? That's what happens when you have an arranged marriage. Unless you leave this guy, your life will be a misery and your time will be spent forever "adjust karna lena"

get out of this marriage because this problem you are stuck with for life... Unless you do something to make it better for YOU.

Answer 9

if u feel and know if u quet the job, your hubby and inlaws will behave in better way and they all will love u, than there is no harm to quit job. dont keep ego here.

Answer 10

try to understand what i have to say, it is from my own experience, you are doing a job, along with a job, you cannot take care of a baby at all, the baby will only live with your in laws or in creche, i think you should quit the job, and raise the baby yourself, also you can do some work at home, like tuitions, you can get online projects at home on computer, try to search in computer, for online jobs. You can take computer tuitions also at home, hubby is earning, you take care of home, partially you can work at home. Take care of in laws, they are your hubby's parents dear, they are your responsibility as well, slowly, if you stop arguing with them and you care for them, they will be attached to you, old people are like pillars of the house, luv them, soon they will be old, when you take care of them, they will tell others, our daughter in law is so good, she always helps us, they will trust you, your hubby will trust you that she is good with my pa & ma, you will me most loveable in the house, everybody will call you, if you go anywhere they will miss you. What are you after all, you are the Queen of the house, try to understand your position, make yourself a perfect queen.

Answer 11

It's your life, just analyze which will make you more happy.Life with job or family.You should have selected between job and family.If you think job will give you more happiness then divorce your husband and stick to the job or else if you feel you can enjoy family life,then quit the job.If you want job as well as family then you should compromise a bit.Also you should have a very strong persuasive skill to make your In-laws family into your hands.

You can persuade your In-laws how money will be very helpful in the time of hospitalization,in between jobs of your husband,in kids school admissions,even the expensive gift they give to their relatives functions or weddings,new household articles can be buy when they get upgraded,you can have a cook or a nurse to take care of your In-laws, when you are away for work etc,etc

If their intention is baby,then explain them how you manage the maternity leave without any hassles.If they convince about that then your job is done.

Don't worry about their nosy attitude, that is very common in all families.Just wait for your baby,once the baby comes into the family the attention will pass to the baby.Most of the In-laws expect that only daughter-in-law has to compromise for everything in the family.That is a very common factor everywhere and it is more in Indian families.

Your future life is in your hands,CHOOSE CAREFULLY.

Answer 12

I know how hard arranged marriges are, and how you are supposed to submit to your husband, but you know what??? You gotta take a stand, let him know you don't feel comfortable quitting, especially when things are so expensive. Although he might not understand or like it, do not quit your job!

Answer 13

i think Indian girls life is so miserable..when they are young they are under their parents..after that under their husband..after kids..n then grandchildren..till death there is no life to call it for your own..if u quit your job..thats it end of the world. their aim is now for you to depend only to your husband..and if u quit you will become a lousy doormat..think about it.if you think this is the a man you want in your life you may carry on..but if you think you don't..the answer is divorce..love and marriage is something for life time and you should be yourself and happy.if you are not its better to call it off..you can find someone more better.Trust me its not the end of the world..think of you happiness..we human life span is below 100..so try to make this years of your life as happiest as possible.Think out of the box..you take care

Answer 14

If you agreed to an arranged marriage then you are not a person you are a possession. You do not get to have an opinion, a voice, nothing at all. It will be expected that you will stay home, cook, clean and have babies. Surely your parents told you this before hand? You are up s**t creek. Leave, or live the way they expect you too. That's your'e only choice.

Answer 15

U STAND YOUR GROUND...LOOK AS A MODERN WOMAN U HAVE TO KNOW TO HANDLE IN LAWS & HUBBY YOUR LIFE.....HE WANTS U TO DEPEND ON HIM ISIT???  THIS IS WHEN THE PROBLEMS IN THE MARRAIGE ALWAYS START....

LOOK YOUR IN LAWS WILL ALWAYS INTERFERE IN EVERYTHING OK...U DO AS U LIKE THAT'S ALL....U GO EDUCATED 4 WHAT JUST TO STAY AT HOME & ROTT???

U DO WHAT U WANDONT LEAVE YOUR JOB 4 YOUR HUBY OK...LET YOUR IN LAWS KNOW WHERE THEIR LIMIT LINE IS OK....WHY ARE U AFRAID TO TELL THEM HOW U FEEL,AFTER ALL U ARE SUPPOSE TO BE  LIKE A DAUGHTER TO THEM NOT A SLAVE OK....

Answer 16

divorcing now is probably better than divorcing years from now.  Its obvious that you don't want any part of this.