As a black woman, is it wrong that I identify more with sexism?

Question

than racism?

I often times get sexually harassed by (generally low class) black males at my workplace. I notice that what I consider harassment, some black women seem to be OK with this (some agree with me). Granted, I am of another culture, etc...

I have tried to tell them to stop, rationalize, etc...but some just say that it's not a big deal, etc, or some women think I'm crazy...either way, I find myself staying away from them at the end, and even then, they tend to come up and bother me.

How can I stop this? Is there something I'm doing?

Answer 1

No, it's not "wrong." Don't worry about what other people, myself included, think about what is right and wrong for you. You are the expert on your life.

The theories I studied concerning race, class and gender posited that you can't really compare the oppressions or calculate their severity by adding sexism+racism+classism. It's was described more as a matrix of domination where the oppression according to race could be multiplied by that of gender and class. Ultimately, it just depends. Obviously, in your experience, gender discrimination is more of a pressing problem for you. This means simply that sexism is the most severe discrimination you face. It's true in your case because you live it and you know it. Don't listen to others who say you are wrong. You know what your experiences are and they don't. That means you're the expert in this case.

Incidentally, what you face is not surprising. Not to demonize men of color, it's not that they are more sexist because they have more melanin in their skin. It's that they are discriminated against for having more melanin and they often seek to pass the resulting S****y feeling along to someone else, someone they feel safe about picking on. If they can make you suffer, they can feel powerful, a feeling often denied them by the broader racist culture.

Of course, there are cultures in which sexual harassment and discrimination, even blatant violence against females is more accepted and condoned. This doesn't mean that people of that culture are "bad" it just means that they are more afraid of women, for whatever reason, than are cultures with more egalitarian approached to gender.

Unfortunately, many women are unaware of the presence of sexism. They assume that things are equal because legal mechanisms are in place to protect women, to allow women to "act like men", yada, yada, yada. Many women fail to realize that they are devalued by a system which honors the masculine, whatever that is and/or is defined as, over the feminine, whatever that is and /or is defined as. Frankly, most people don't think about it very deeply because it's just scary and painful.

Additionally, much sexism is perpetuated by women, against women. It's fueled by the same mechanism I mentioned earlier. A woman who has been shamed for being sexual will often deny that part of herself, instead pointing out how other women are "S****y" to distract from her own issues. We don't usually question the notion that anyone need be called "S****y" for any reason. So we perpetuate it. There are also some women who will either act like men and treat feminine women as inferior, or will act traditionally feminine and treat women who don't as inferior. Both are identifying with the oppressive "male is better than female" ideology. One simply takes maleness on as good, the other feels superior because she is doing what men (and a presumably male god) want her to do.

Anyway, no, there is nothing wrong with being honest about who you are and what your experiences are. As for stopping the poor behavior of others, both male and female, that's another question. You really don't have control over the actions of others. You can state your boundaries clearly and respectfully. Let them know, face to face, that you feel this behavior is unacceptable and ask them to stop. Tell them how you want to be treated. If they choose not to then your only recourse is to take legal action. Inform yourself about your rights. Even the women in your situation could be held legally responsible for creating a hostile atmosphere. I wish you much courage and self esteem. You deserve it. Don't we all?

Answer 2

I don't know what race has to do with this. If men aren't respecting you at work then you need to tell your employer. If they won't do anything about it file a complaint with the labour board or contact a lawyer. It takes guts but once you complain, other women will probably come forward too.

Answer 3

They're not harassing you because of their pigmentation, they're harassing you because they are dumbasses.  Reverend Jesse Jackalope tried to say that Mike Tyson was innocent of rape because the victim should've known not to be alone with "honest Mike" and that black men will do what black men will do.   That is not true!  It's not anything to do with them being black, and it's everything to do with them being dregs of society.

You can notify your supervisor, call the police, spray them with pepper spray, or take on a whole other plethora of other options.

And no - it's not anything that you are doing.  Being female is all it takes.

Answer 4

Here is the thing. In short of causing men to become so scared of women they ignore them completely the only other way to certify it as sexual harassment is for you to have a frank discussion with them about how you don't appreciate it.

       But as you mentioned you told them to stop.. don't just tell them to stop but warn them to stop or you would report them.

      Most company's take that seriously.

  Also make sure you are dressed appropriately( yeah I know the whole blame the victim thing). Because your manner of dress and maybe basic body language might be sending them mixed signals.

        That or they are dimwitted pervs who should be reported to HR office. Even if you can tolerate this behavior as an employee you have an obligation to warn the company about people who have no respect for others(creates a hostile work environment,risk of lawsuit, lowered level of general productivity).

Answer 5

No, it isn't. No one black woman is the same, I identify w/ both racism & sexism. You're right, black women do seem to have a double-edged sword when it comes to racism & especially sexism (rap/hiphop lyrics). If I were you & I were feeling uncomfortable, report to HR, preferably someone you can confide in. I can relate.

Answer 6

I understand what you mean about sexism and racism.

And I think it's great that youre thinking of this just as a matter of being a woman.

Without being divided into races, there area lot more women!

And that has ben a subject since the women's movement began hasn't it?

Well it just makes me smile though from you NOT being racist..because thats how your interpretation strikes me.

Thankyou.

I think youre right on track!

______________________

And as for what to do?

I gotta agre withthe answer that said, state it firm, then go to boss next. Dont just have it continue

I would warn them youre gonna complain officially before do it, and try to maintain a friendly posture--you will still have to work with thm, and their attention is no doubt because they are just piggy men and you are nice looking...and maybe you could just understand their humanity as such.So keep it friendly toned..but warn them first that youre feeling seriously bothered, and will complain to company.(Give them a chance to keep it friendly too, and respect you)

.

Answer 7

Take as many pieces of paper that you need and write down something to the effect "I have tried to be tolerant and kind to you at the same time, and If YOU CHOSE to continue, I will be taking the matter to the Boss or Whom ever to fill charges against you. I do hope that YOU CHOSE the easier way out of this Harassment, Sexual Harassment I might Add! And keep a copy for your self. And then do not back down. That kind of behavior is unacceptable. God Speed to ya.

Answer 8

I'm not sure what you mean by "identifying" with sexism. Do you mean that you notice it more?

The way to stop this is to tell them firmly to cut it out. If that doesn't work, report to your direct supervisor. I don't see what race has to do with any of it, though.

Answer 9

Idenitfy with what you want.  If you tell them no, and they touch you...Sue them and/or kick them in the balls.  Don't take c**p from anyone.

Answer 10

That's kind of sad. If it bothers you that much, though, you should speak to someone in authority or make an anonymous complaint to HR about the harassment.

Answer 11

Sexism is the "in" thing of today.  However it does sound annoying to what is happening to you at work.

Answer 12

dont let any man or woman sexually harass you. if someone is saying things about your body that you dont appreciate, that makes them a baaaaaaaad panda.