As a bridesmaid, what should I be expected to pay for?

Question

I'm short on $, but a year ago I agreed to be in a friends wedding out of state. She later moved the wedding to a location that will be an additional 2-3hours drive. (6 hrs total - with a 2 year old) I & 1 other bridesmaid am paying for the shower & a gift for her. I bought a dress, shoes, etc. for the wedding day. We are paying for our hotel stays, gas, food etc. to get there. I am paying for myself a pedicure. I was planning to fix my own hair, but she said she was having someone to come & do our hair & it would be $45/person. I told her that I did not have the $, but I could probably do my hair myself. Should I have agreed to pay the $45 for the hairdresser?

Answer 1

I get the whole "it's her day" thing  but this bride  keeps changing the rules! That's  just a little bit unfair  in my book. You need to pin her down and ask her EXACTLY what she expects of you  money-wise and while you are happy and honoured to  stand up for her as a bridesmaid you are a bit short on funds at the moment. Unless she is the ultimate scary bridezilla from h**l you  may both be able to come to some sort of compromise.

Answer 2

I know that it really seems like you have spent a lot of money , but you did agree to be in the wedding.  If she would like you to spend 45 and get your hair done than I say do it if you can manage the 45.  If you can't when you get to the church to get ready or where ever your getting ready, go ahead and fix your hair the way that you want.  Just remember your not to our do the bride.  Good Luck

Answer 3

I think you have done a lot as it is. She must understand that not everyone has a budget that allows for so many expenses for her day. She should have offered to pay for the hair dresser if she wanted everyone to go to this person. In my opinion, I think you should politely tell her that you are on a budget and unable to afford getting your hair done. Especially, if you can do it yourself. Of course, this is assuming that you can do the same hairstyle as the other girls will have. She will understand if she's a good friend.

Good luck and have a great time at the wedding!

Answer 4

Its a bit late now that you have already agreed to it. Now days, the bridesmaids cost is the bridesmaids responsibilty. It doesn't make it right or wrong but I believe the only thing the bride usually pays for now is the jewellery. If you look at it from her point of view too, $45 is not much to pay for a hair up. Where I come from that is ridiculously cheap so I think she's probably taken your budget into account.

Answer 5

you have been more than reasonable, I would not even ask my brides maids to pay for their dresses, after all, when are they likely to ever wear it again?  You have a baby, you are traveling, you already spent lots of money, she has a wedding budget, let her cover this one little thing.

Answer 6

if she is not paying for it i dont think you should have to get your hair done by her person if you cant afford it

i know i would not be mad!

Answer 7

To be honest if you can spend the money than do it if not than do you hair yourself.As long as you look good for her big day than that's fine,if she is your true Friend than she'll understand that you can not afford the hair style st and that the 1 year old could use the money for something else.

Answer 8

I dont think so. It sounds like you have agreed to absolutely everything she wanted but enough is enough. If it was that important to her she could have offered to pay for the hairdresser or better yet paid for it and never said anything to you about it. But, make the best of it if you can. You ae a good person. dont feel bad.

Answer 9

The dress, shoes, and anything else you will be wearing the day of the wedding. Hair should either be paid for or done by you unless offered by the bride. If you need to travel, you also need to pay for any travel arrangements. They may offer to help, but don't be upset if they don't.

When money is an issue, budget should be discussed with the bride. Time issues should also be discussed as far as planning parties. There should never be any assumptions made on either side, and while I think it is perfectly reasonable to ask the bride to try and be flexible with desires to fit a tight budget, they sometimes have specific tastes. It should be dealt with when there is time to back out or change plans.

See if you can do it yourself. If she throws a fit, well its up to you.  In the future, bring up any potital issues with the bride so that you both have your expecations and desires known early on.