As a f-mom, would you feel comfortable with video-taping and photos during your delivery?

Question

i have read many blogs where the aparents spoke about videotaping and taking pictures of the birth. although i understand the desire for paps to "capture the moment" similar to that of woman who is not relinquishing; it's a bit different when the video/photos are of another woman's body.

i am just curious to know how many fmoms would be comfortable with having your "nether regions" captured on video and film, for the sake of "someone else's" desire to record that moment?

Answer 1

I am not sure. Interesting question though.  :)

Answer 2

well, as the mom, you dont get to see what your body has experienced, unless they put a mirror there and that still isnt the same, so some women want to see it too... me personally, i didnt want it, but it is an awesome experience to see someone being born, so i guess i would have liked to be on the other end watching my daughter- but i dont think i would want to keep it... just watch and erase... cause its kinda gross too... lol

Answer 3

No way.  I didn't want either birth video taped.

Answer 4

When my husband and myself started TTC we got a video camera, that is what we were going to do. Now that I am pregnant there is no way!!!! I don't mean this as insulting or any way judgemental for women who do. I just cant see myself allowing this. I might allow pictures from like the belly angle when the baby first comes out, but not partial birth pictures. It Just makes me uncomfortable.

Answer 5

I actually do have pictures of the birth of my son however they are on lock down no ones sees these. They were taken by a friend that just happened to be in the room and they were taken away from her with all the negatives. It was very wrong of her to take those photos but I have to say  they are interesting.

Answer 6

=o)  This question makes me LOL.

I have a lot of thoughts on this, and I'm a bit sleep deprived so they may jumble up a bit.  Keep in mind this is specific to my own experience birthing and relinquishing my baby for adoption and I only speak for me.

As far as I know, my son has never seen a picture of us, his biological family.  While the adoption could be categorized as semi-open because of the regular updates we receive from his adoptive parents, the actual relationship with our son is mostly closed.

The idea that someday there is this box of letters, pictures, etc.. for my son to open up someday to get an idea of who his biological parents are is overwhelming as it is.  Will that box be an accurate representative to who we are, or why things happened the way they happened?  That box is absolutely the first impressions that my son will have with who I am and what I am about.

I have no pictures of me and my son together.  There were none taken at the birth, and none taken afterwards.  This weighs heavily on me.  If they were to take photos like that, I would hope that extra copies would be given to the first mother.

But that being said, it's hard enough to know that the letters and photos are going to be the first impressions my son gets about me.  If the main photos are clearly showing me as just a v****a and not as a person, I would be upset.  The depiction of being *just* a birthmother would really bother me.

Furthermore, a video would hold an even bigger impact of that depiction I would think, especially in adoptions like mine where the firstmom doesn't have an interactive relationship with their child.

Giving birth into that situation was by far the most emotional event in my life so far, and for it to be a souvenir for someone else... it bothers me.

That being said, potential adoptive parents should not be in the birthing room anyway.  It's a coercive action against an expectant mother.

Answer 7

eeeeeeeeeek!  heck no! unbelievable.   I'd be interested to know who WOULD be comfortable with that

Potential adoptive parents have no  place in the delivery room, the child is NOT theirs - that's just awful.  Pass the sick bucket plz

Answer 8

1.  I had a video of the birth, um from waist up after the babe was out.  I do not need to capture what goes down there as it's a very intimate & special moment even if you lose all modesty to every staff member in the hospital by the time you're done, haha.

2.  I be dam*ed if I let another woman video tape it for her own personal reasons. No thanks, I think I will pass.  My husband thought it was the most amazing thing he ever saw but it's not something that I need somebody to rewind & watch whenever they get the whim to do so.

3.  Photos & video clips afterwards would be fine, h**l I was doing the video taping of people in the room a few seconds after my babe popped out but where do you draw the line?  I realize some aparents get this thing stuck in their heads where, "oh it's MY baby & gotta catch every moment"...give the woman who is delivering some peace & a moment before they separate.

Answer 9

As an f-mom, I actually entertained the notion of inviting the a-parents to be present at the delivery. Then I thought about being more-or-less naked and in pain during an emotional episode with people that I liked but didn't know all that well, and decided that pregnancy hormones were making me stupid. (The a-parents never asked to be present, so it never became an issue.) Since I'm not big on being photographed fully clothed and having fun, I had zero interest in being videotaped - for my own "enjoyment" or anyone else's - while delivering a baby.

Answer 10

Very interesting question, but no way!  I had two 10 lbs children and from what I can remember, I don't want to recall the delivery.  Especially my son because he was induced and it was horrible.  I was completely dilirious when came time to push...I don't ever want to see that again.

Answer 11

As an adoptive mother who was invited to be in the delivery room by her cousin, the first mom.... I would have to say video taping an photos are inappropriate and insensitive. This refers to a birth where the child is placed for adoption....I view it as an invasion of privacy.

If you want to tape your own delivery that it completely up to you.

Answer 12

I've given birth three times.  I remember it pretty vividly...I really don't need to watch it in living colour again.  No, didn't tape any one of them.  It's not so much the 'nether regions' being on display, but man, living through it once each time was enough for me!

Answer 13

Obviously I'm in the minority here, but sure- I would have been fine with having the birth taped-  I'm a birth mom.  I'm not squeamish about others seeing my body- we all have them, no-one's is perfect, etc.  My body was certainly a lot better when I had my first baby rather than my third!  Giving birth is a natural thing.  If the adoptive parents wanted a videotape for themselves, that's a bit odd, but no skin off my back.  If they wanted it for the sake of the baby, well, then sure.   Now that I've had two more kids and we think we're "done", I kind of regret not ever having taped one of my births.  I've never seen someone give birth, although I've done it three times.  Maybe that interest is something that many adoptive parents have, especially ones who cannot conceive or carry babies themselves.  

Just trying to offer some possible reasons that aren't THAT out there...

*I'm glad you seem to at least be willing to listen to another's perspective.  

I'm very put off by all of the answers saying that videotaping a birth this way (specifically for adoptive parents) is innapropriate.  While it might not may be ideal for you, it could very well be appropriate for another.  Judging another person's (or group of people's) choices is taking it too far.  It's just not your business, frankly, unless you're living it.

Answer 14

Oh wow, my stomach just did a big heave-ho when I read your question.

No, I would not feel comfortable! I think it is terribly invasive. I have seen a couple of videos of women who had very recently given birth and were placing their infant for adoption. There were no scenes of the delivery, and even these felt terribly invasive to me. A young woman having just given birth to her son or daughter holding him/her for the first time and knowing that they will be handing their child over to other people to raise. It is heart breaking.

I can't even find words to express how awful this sounds to me. I feel very sorry for the young women who agree to this. I think it may be just one more thing that they live to regret.

Answer 15

No.  I wouldn't want the adoptive parents-to-be in the delivery room at all.  It would feel like a violation of a private moment, and it seems rather coercive too.

Answer 16

No no no no no no.........I even refused to allow them to accompany me on my doc appts.  Not even my family was allowed to see my four year old's birth.  I'm a private person.  It was brought up during the adoption plan, but I explained that she was going to be c-section since my older child was c-section (both ended up being severe emergency c-sections).  But I told them that even if it was going to be a natural birth, I would feel uncomfortable having an audience, so I wouldn't have allowed them in the room during the delivery no matter what.  I just wanted it to be me and the baby, no one else.  I wanted to make sure that I knew I was doing the right thing and I wanted the alone time.  But again, since it ended in an emergency c-section, no one was allowed in the room.

My fondest memory thru the haze of all the painkillers they gave me was the sound of her crying.  In that moment, no one else existed except for me and her.