As a parent, have you ever doubted your parenting skills?

Question

On these pages we often read about parents who seems so confident and knowledgeable about parenting. I just wonder if those parents have had big problems with their kids or maby been negatively surprised by their kids behavior. Do spankers, do non-spankers, do loving and caring parents all face the same: problems with their kids? Who can really say that my way is the only way?

Answer 1

Of course we have had doubts...we are human.  Those parents that 'seem' so confident, etc....they have probably encountered the same problem and can relate, thus giving answers/examples of what worked.   There is no such thing as 'the only way'.....just what works for your family, and when you run out of ideas....you ask others.  That is natural.  There are questions on here that I do not answer, because I cannot offer any different answers besides what the parent has already tried.

Answer 2

It's weird, whenever i give advice or answer a question that i seem confident about, it's only because i've been in that situation and had to ask someone else what to do. I doubt my parenting some days. Especially those days where it seems like nothing goes right. BUT if i were a bad parent i wouldn't be asked to watch other peoples kids. My children are only 3 and 4, but i need my husband to tell me what i'm a great mother, because some days it doesn't seem that way. I give in to easily, i spool beyond belief and somedays i let them decide on what to do. But all in all, they still love and respect me no matter what decisions are made on their part.

Answer 3

I question my skills all the time!  Some days I think I'm raising a couple of heathens. Then I go around some of my friend's kids (especially the ones who think they got it going on) and I think wow my kids are GREAT.

All kids have their "moments" and as long as the child is top priority in a parent's life that's all that matters.

Answer 4

Yes, I worry, often, that I've made mistakes along the way.  That's why I keep on trying to learn & do better.  Not only as a parent, but in life in general, too.  

Yes, I would think that all kinds of parents face problems with their kids.  That's the big challenge of parenting, isn't it?  

That doesn't make all other parenting methods into potentially good choices, though.

Answer 5

all of the time but as a parent, I believe that the trick is to never let your children see or know that you're in doubt.  Then they'll know what buttons to push and how to run all over you.  It's some issues, however, that I am adamant about and no one can tell me otherwise.  you have so many opinions about how to raise a child and the very best opinion is your own.

Answer 6

I haven't had any doubt in myself thus far. My kids are young...so that could change. I think a lot of people make things harder than they have to be, and then have problems. I don't know....it's all good at our house lol.

*Well, I suppose I need to start recording and broadcasting life with my family lmao. Some people really need to grow up, it is fully possible to not have doubted your parenting. If you think ahead and are cautious and analyze before doing things, it's quite a simple task. I have seen from being on this site that most people spend little to no time with kids, can't pay their bills, and are in pathetic relationships with partners with horrid habits. (for the most part...there do seem to be a few ginuinely decent, respectable people on here). If you live in caos, expect to s***w up left and right. That doesn't mean someone that has things together can't have a relaxed peaceful life without doubts. I say grow up. If you doubt yourself, do better. Simple as that. Considering my kids are 3years8month (daughter), and 7 month old(son).....they are to small to have had anything for me to doubt myself for. Once they are 5- 10 years old...then sure, there's probably stuff that will happen that will make me think "did I do that right or not"....as for now, it isn't something thats going on. Good lord...how hard is it to play with, and take care of a freaking 3 year old, and 7 month old...it's all basic common sense stuff that come naturally to my husband and I. As I said before, some people make things a lot more difficult than they need to be. Sucks for them. Maybe one day they will simplify their lives, and have less worries. Untill then, I can take pride in doing well for myself, and my family. People that don't like that, oh well. It's my life, you have yours. My biggest worry is gee do we go to the zoo, or the aquarium....or hmm baby is teething top or bottom this time. SIMPLE!!! nothing to doubt there! Hello!

Answer 7

I think all parents doubt their parenting skills at some point...I think if they dont then they are not being honest.  And I think we all face some of the same problems....But in the end, I think being a loving, caring and  patient parent is the most important thing...You have to be in touch with your child's feelings and try to understand their personalities.

Answer 8

What parent HASN'T questioned themself at one time or another?  It goes along with "not getting a manual" when the child is born.  We do the best we can, follow our gut instincts and the wisdom of those who went before us, and take each day as it comes.  

Every parent will have some kind of "trouble" with their children, and will have to deal with it, but I don't think anyone can say "this is the ONLY way to do it," because each child is different.  Sure, some of the basics are standard:  provide firm, consistent guidelines; consequences when the guidelines are broken; LOTS of love......but no two children will respond to those things in the same way.  Just make sure your child/ren know that you love them unconditionally, and that you're adult enough to say "I'm sorry....I messed up" when you're in the wrong.  Nobody's perfect--including Moms and Dads.  Hang in there!

Answer 9

If you've never had doubts or second-guessed yourself, you probably aren't a very good parent.

Answer 10

I have definitely had moments when I doubt my skills. Some days are better than others. One night my son slipped in the bathtub, wouldn't eat his food, and then I spilled liquid cough syrup all over him- I definitely doubted my abilities at that point.

There are ppl on here that seem overly confident, but you know they can't feel that way all the time.

Answer 11

Are you serious? Daily.  

You'd have to be a pretty serious narcissist to think that of the hundreds of parenting decisions you make in a day that you somehow got all of them right.

Answer 12

I think every parent has questioned themselves.  I think it is normal to question if you are doing things right or wrong.

Answer 13

I think we all have moments of doubt when it comes to parenting. I think it's easier to give advice because it is not your child and you can step back and look at it more objectively when you aren't standing right in the middle of whatever problem it is. I think we all face pretty much the same TYPES of problems over the years, and the only thing you can do is find out what works for others and try it. I try to always start with "I think" or "I did this" when I answer a question because you are right, NO way is the only way. It may be the only way for that person, but all we can do on here is let people know what worked for us and hope that it works for them too, and if not that, something else. I get what you are saying. Sometimes it frustrating to ask a question or even look at others answers because you think to yourself " my goodness this person is over the top"

Answer 14

I think every parent doubts their parenting skills at some point or another. You can be confident and knowledgeable but still have doubts. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. (Or is living in a delusional world where they think their children & family are perfect haha). And no one can really say that their way is the only way because all kids are different and respond to discipline techniques in different ways. Even kids from the same families sometimes won't respond to certain discipline techniques the same way. Part of being a good parent is finding what works for every member of your family. People seem confident here because for the most part I think we're giving advice based on what has worked for us- not because we're convinced we're right about everything lol. =]

Answer 15

theres always times that you can doubt yourself im a single dad of 4 and iv never had any training before i became a dad other than from health visitors and the kids teachers.

I know it could make you feel like a bad parent dont be afraid to ask for help or advise if it helps your child.