As a parent, would you be stricter on a girl child?

Question

My mother has grounded me for staying out until 12am. I am 16. My brother has been doing the same thing since he was 15 and he is now 18, but no one says a word to him. In fact my mother thnks it's funny when he comes in at 4am.

I am a girl btw. What do you think?

Answer 1

Yeah! My mum is like this too! It is so unfair. Have a good yell at her! Ask her to give you one good reason and prove that it is  a rubbish one. If she says something stupid like you might get raped learn a martial art to prove that you can defend yourself. I am going to learn Ninjitsu for this reason.

Answer 2

well personally i wouldn't treat them differently - i have a 3 yr old girl and a 5 year old boy and i treat them just the same - but i would be strict lol, but remember their only doing it because they care.

Answer 3

it is unfair i agree i am going through the same thing ,but parents are always going to be stricter on us girls because where are the ones who are able to get pregnant.

Answer 4

Thats really not fair, especially as you had forwarned her you'd be late back.

Answer 5

parents are more protective over girls its natural im afraid , i guess girls are more likely to be picked up by dik heads and more likely to be raped etc , girls also get drunk easier than men do and there more risk for young girls out there

i think you should sit down and talk to your mum in a sensible mannewr , no shouting or kicking off , tell her how you feel it unfair and how she can trust you , if you let her know where you are etc and act like an adult im sure she be less controlling over you

just imagine if you had a little girl , would you want her out til 12, im a parent and i know i wouldnt

Answer 6

well it seams like you two may need to work out your problems but no i wouldn't that doesn't seem right

Answer 7

U must understand your mum do this is for your own good.. nowadays the raping cases are very very serious..not just that. that there alot of unsafe cases. she cares about u and she doesn't want u to get hurt..  i will totally appreciate!!

Answer 8

Boys can get into violent crime, girls can get pregnant1

both as bad.

When I was 16 I was still not allowed out late and not even to go to a sleepover!

I just rebelled and no I did not become a teenage mum!

lol! oh my mum stopped saying anything and just letted me be independant but make sure you look after yourself.

Answer 9

she's sexist clearly. sort it out.

Answer 10

I'm sorry parents can be so hypocritical when it comes to s*x. As a parent I would be just as horrified if my teenage son impregnated a girl as I would if my daughter became pregnant.

The truth is young girls are really put in a lose lose situation when parents teach their daughters to be sexually reserved but not their sons, the girls get all the responsibility of sexual chastity dumped on them. To all the parents out there that think that's OK consider that fact that raising your kids with double standards doesn't protect them but makes them respect your method of parenting less and encourages rebellion.

Wanting to be desired by the opposite s*x is a natural part of being a human being but when kids aren't equally educated and protected from the pitfalls of being careless or irresponsible with s*x both young men and women lose.

Answer 11

Ok for one you are 16 not 18, your mother is just trying to protect you from all those perve's that are out at 12 and all the possiable thing's that some kids are doing like s*x, drug's, alcohol and getting in trouble with the law. fact is your 16 and it is her decision. know if you where mine then you would be at home by 10 no later and your brother would not be coming in my home no 4 in the morning, if he wanted to do that then he would be advised that he either be in by 11 or find his own place with a job.

Answer 12

she's only looking out for you. her suddenly changing her is a tad bit unfair and you should sort things out and establish an actual curfew. you're a young girl and though it may sound sexist it is safer if you were home late at night. you can go out all you want when you're older dont worry. but while you are young you are their responsibility and all they want is to ensure your safety and well being. when i was younger i used to always have a beef with my parents about my going out since i am a guy and i didnt seem to get what their problem was. but i realized it was all for my own good when i got older. the key is to talk to them and reach a compromize and establish a curfew and a set of rules that work with you and your parents. hope it works out for you. dont be angry, your mum loves you and is only concerned about you.

Answer 13

My daugher will need to be in the house by 12am when she is 16. The same would apply to her if she was a boy. I was 16 once (I'm 21 now, so it wasn't THAT long ago) and I know the kind of trouble I used to get in, and more importantly, I know from first hand experience that their are some real creeps that come out late at night and I don't want my kid around them regardless of gender.

Answer 14

No I don't think you should. All children in one family has their wrongs so get mad at them when they do wrong but do it equally.(I think)

Answer 15

No at least not in that aspect. But the curfew for both you would be 9pm.

Answer 16

yes in would they are more vurnrable to people that wan't to use them okay...

Answer 17

I think the way your mother went about it was totally wrong...

but I also would go on to say that she loves you deeply and doesn't want anything to happen to you.. This is a dangerous world in which we live, and I KNOW for a fact that she doesn't want you to get raped, or kidnapped, or anything else bad to happen to you... I think she is looking out for your well being but goes it the wrong way

Answer 18

I believe parents are more overprotective of female children, but that is a natural thing from nature.

By best advice on this solution is to do the best thing you can do. Stop ignoring mum :P

Go and sit down with her, nice and calm. Say "Mum, We need to talk". In a nice voice, no screaming and yelling, no sarcasm and nastiness, tell her how you feel.

Something like "Mum, I appreciate that you are protective over me, and that you love me, but I am sixteen, and you should give me some more trust. You need to trust me more. (Insert Brothers name here) Gets to go out until (Insert time here) but I get in trouble for being home at (Insert OTHER time here). I just don't think that is very fair. I'm not saying I want to stay out that late, I just believe you and I should come to reasonable agreements about times and stuff, like adults"

Two things there. One, she'll hopefully start to see you as an adult. Two. She'll realise the whole thing is a little unfair and she should be fairer.

And PLEASE, use the word adult somewhere. And if the thing fails and you get yelled at, dont yell back! Calmly say "Ok, if thats how you feel" and walk off. Try again in two days time.

Try it. It worked for me :D

Axe

Answer 19

Well, for one thing your name is "SexMeSlow". For a 16 year old girl that might tell you one reason why. Your mother needs to just forget grounding you, it obviously has no effect. She needs to turn you over her knee and blister your bare little behind with a good old fashioned hairbrush.

Answer 20

you're actually really lucky i usually have to be home before dark, well i try to atleast or i'll get picked up at the train station etc

if i'm at a party i have to get picked up by either my parents or a friend's parents

it's pretty similar for everyone i know, the only way i can get out of the house late is by sneaking out (i dont sneak out though)

well yeh parents are gonna be stricter on girls, especially when it involves the dangers of the night lol

...i'm sorry but i can't really help you on a solution, i'm actually in the same situation

i guess you should think positively like atleast your parents care

i was talking to a homeless girl and she was like don't you ever say i hate you to your mum because atleast you have a mum, i'd do anything for a mum

and lol just think your parents are more concerned about you than your brother because - a) they love you more and b) you're hotter and more 'rapeable' than him :D

...well i guess you can sit down and talk to her and say look i completely understand where you're coming from but can you please not ground me, like i'll honestly try my hardest to get home on time. Say I want to get home earlier for my own safety not because you're going to ground me, i think i'm old enough to be responsible for my own safety

oh and honestly girls are so much more vulnerable like i've seen soo many guys take advantage of girls like i saw this one guy a party literally pounding this drunk girl till she bled so much that half his shirt was soaked in blood

EDIT: ok your situation sounds really bad...you havent talked to her in a week

maybe you should talk to your brother and ask if he can sit down with both of you to control things and be calm incase war breaks out lol

Answer 21

No I don't buy this double standard at all. My cousin was drugged and almost sodomised at a party when he was 17. The only reason he was able to fright the bloke off was because the guy was 10 times weaker than him, even a girl would have kicked his a.s.s. So no I'll be having the same restrictions on my son as my daughter and I think 12am is too late for a 16 year old kid no matter their gender.

Answer 22

omg!! Just explain to your mum about it!! And try and make her understand!

Answer 23

depends on who needs the curfew and/or has shown responsiblity in the past. I didn't need a curfew. They either knew where I was or who I was with, and they were fine with that.  My brother, on the other hand (although he showed/continues to show responsiblity in other areas even now that we're in our 30s) needed some guidelines on when to come home, or my dad would getting up for work and he wouldn't be home from the night before.

Answer 24

As a mother, I'd whoop you because no kid should be out that late... but at least I'd be fair and do the same with your brother. What sort of message does that send when you blatantly favor one kid over the other? I mean, even if you're a total pain and your brother is some sort of kiss @ss angel to your mom, but that shouldn't exclude him from following basic family rules. I don't know what your mother has against you (or for your brother), but that isn't right.

Personally, I would not treat my daughter any more or less strict than a son. To me, gender has nothing to do with whether or not you can be a respectful, responsible child. If you stay out longer than you're asked to, you will get in trouble, son or daughter. Likewise, if you do what's asked of you, you don't get any better treatment (like being allowed to stay out until 4am, that's ridiculous) than your opposite s*x sibling would get.  All is fair in my house. I'm sorry it isn't so at yours.

Answer 25

you're lucky

my curfew is 9pm

Answer 26

Your brother is now an adult so he can do as he pleases. I do think mums are more protective over girls though as there are so many dangers.

Answer 27

My mom did the same things. I have a brother that is 5 years younger than me. He would get by with things that I wouldve been lynched for!!! For what ever reason some parents think you have to be more protective over the girls, the way i have always looked at it is..boys get into trouble too..so what makes the difference.Now that he is 18 he can stay out till 4am.