As a parent how do you feel about this? Do you have another suggestion?

Question

I have a home daycare ...I have always had mostly girls in my daycare but lately the shift has changes from female to male...Anyway...I have always delt with separation of mom and child the same. And even addressed it in my policy....Make sure to make your good bye brief, one last kiss then leave....The longer you stay and drag it out the longer it takes for your child to recover.....I usually distract and the kids are fine before the parents are at thier car...BUT The last couple of weeks I have had to literally pull two boys from thier parents arms...The two boys are a little spoiled and use the tears to get thier way, If they are fine it almost is as if thier mom wants them to be throwing a fit when they leave...she will stick around and do kiss, and hug and drag it on till they are crying.....I am sick of being the bad guy and have actually had to tell Mom ok one more kiss and you have to go...

I want to stress here that the kids are very well behaved other than the drop off, I have a time chart for both boys and they understand when everyone is coming to pick them up. But then mom starting telling them that dad was going to take off early to pick them up...Now I have to break thier hearts more than once a day by reminding them of thier charts and telling them that they are not leaving early....

I am just really trying to get some new ideas, or hear what your providers do?

The little boys are both 4? Different parents....And I have never had this type of problem with other kids or parents for more than a week.

Answer 1

since you cannot convince the parents to change their behaviors, you will have to work with the boys. offer them incentive or reward to act like big boys and say good bye. it should probably be an immediate reward/incentive to correct the behavior. you ARE right and these parents are enablers for bad behavior. imagine when they are teenagers...

Answer 2

During drop off time, my coteacher and I had an activity already set up for all the students when they come in. These activites esp distracted the clingers from keeping to their parents. However, we als spent time letting the parents know their goodbyes had to be brief. If the children wanted, they could wave bye at the window and then go to the next activity. Those parents need to know what the guidelines are. Encourage parents instead of saying goodbye, place them in an activity right away, and then tell their children they'll see them later.

Answer 3

I'm not a parent or anything, but I have done my fair share of babysitting.   I had a mom that liked to stick around and just talk so I would just pick up the kid and walk into another room telling the mom to have a good time and call if she needed anything.

I was doing my job... taking care of and paying attnetion to the kid.

With your situation, you stated the parents know the policy. I would just let her know, you sticking around and behaving like you do with the boys is not easy for me to deal with after you leave.  Please re read my policy for saying goodbye, or I will no longer be able to watch the kids.  

Gotta put your foot down.

Answer 4

I also am a daycare provider and I have also dealt with these situations. You need to talk to the mother upon pick up and let her know that she will need to talk to the children about dropping them off and as hard as it is to leave a crying child behind, she will have to make her good-bye short and just go even if they are crying. These children are manipulating her because they know if they cry she will stay longer and feel bad for leaving them. I'm sure they are fine by the time she gets out of the driveway. Tell her to leave and call in five minutes and she will see that they are fine. I would make sure she understands that you will no longer tolerate the dragged out drop off, because you have other children to attend to and other kids being droped off that also need your attention.

Answer 5

I personally would not want my child to suffer...I would talk to them before dropping them off, kiss and hug and then leave as soon as possible....then if I was worried, I would call the director later to ask how my baby is doing...just to ease my worries...but I always try to talk to my kids and let them know what is going on...I am currently looking for a job and told them that they may have to go to daycare and  explained to them that it would just be while I work and that as soon as I get off I would be picking them up and I also told them that it would be good for them to play with other kids and make lots of friends...so so far they are comfortable with it...and I haven't even found a job yet lol