As a server is it ok to not want to be touched?

Question

Sometimes people will touch my hand or arm, and although I don't like it, it's usually quick and ok. But the other night this man put his hand on my side and pushed me a little and so i moved so he could sit down but his hand followed me so i took a step back out of his reach and he gave me a funny look.

After that they continued to flag down another server after every time I left their table! Even to give him their credit card right after I left the table near the end!

When they were leaving they YELLED at the manager that he had touched my shoulder (a lie) and that i "jumped away from him" (another lie) and that he apologized (another lie).

Then they said I "bullied" the other server into keeping my own table! (another lie!) They never said they wanted another server to anyone- they just kept saying they were fine when I was over there and flagging him down as soon as I left!

My managers think he was embarrassed that I stepped back, and they all took my side after talking

Answer 1

I am a server (when my manager friend needs help) and it is never appropriate for anyone to touch a server.

Some customers are a**h*les and you just have to let it go. Don't ever take any situation personally - it's not you, it's them - TRUST ME!

Answer 2

I think you're a bit too sensitive.  Unless he actually groped you, where's the harm?  It's not normal to be so averse to being touched.

Answer 3

It's perfectly ok for you not to want to be touched. This man was obviously a creep, you did nothing wrong, if someone keeps acting in what you deem as an inappropriate manner you  should tell your manager or someone, you shouldn't feel violated at work.

You are perfectly in your rights to not to want to be touch.

Answer 4

Waitressing is rough because there's always the chance you have to deal with riff raffs and weirdos.  Your manager, if experienced, must have seen much worse and know how to handle it.  At some restaurants, you even have to help throw out drunk men.  Don't waste another minute thinking about it.

Answer 5

What you did was the right thing for stepping back.  Also, I'm assuming that you're a girl and the other one is a guy?  Many guys have little respect for female servers, and you did the right thing.  (Although not all are like that, there are plenty who are, so be careful.)  If it's quick, I'd let it go, but in that particular case, you did the right thing, and it's great that the management supported you (as I think they should)  And yes, although some touches (like the light ones on your hand or arm that you said were OK) are unavoidable, it is perfectly OK to not want to be touched - I don't want to be either!!

Answer 6

I don't see that you didn't anything wrong. Some people just are not clear on what end of a service industry that you work in. Some people don't understand boundres. You are not to be fondle or grouped in anyway. If there is a next time, let think i'd let someone else take over your table though. You may lose a tip, but you won't have to put up with that c**p again.