As a server is it okay to not want to be touched?

Question

Sometimes people will touch my hand or arm, and although I don't like it, it's usually quick and ok. But the other night this man put his hand on my side and pushed me a little and so i moved so he could sit down but his hand followed me so i took a step back out of his reach and he gave me a funny look.

After that they continued to flag down another server after every time I left their table! Even to give him their credit card right after I left the table near the end!

When they were leaving they YELLED at the manager that he had touched my shoulder (a lie) and that i "jumped away from him" (another lie) and that he apologized (another lie).

Then they said I "bullied" the other server into keeping my own table! (another lie!) They never said they wanted another server to anyone- they just kept saying they were fine when I was over there and flagging him down as soon as I left!

My manager thinks he was embarrassed that I stepped back, and they all took my side

Answer 1

I'm not an expert at this sort of thing, but if you think you were in the right, you should talk to the manager about it. But on the other hand, at least you weren't on the subway, stuck between (insert imagination here.)

Answer 2

I don't think it is OK.  Doesn't matter if it is a family restaurant or a bar.  The guy was an oversensitive moron, and good for your manager for taking your side.

Answer 3

I believe it's ok as long as someone just pats your hand as appreciation.. perhaps when he pays.. that i would not mind.. but if they touch other body parts.. that is not appropriate.  however if you worked in a bar.. as a barmaid.. and not as a server in a restaurant.. that happens.. a smack on the bum by a customer and it's not correct .. but they are used to it.. that happens in bars all the time with barmaids.. because when the customers get more drunk they also get less inhibited... so a person who minds that a lot should not work in a bar.. such as myself I would mind.. I am a person.. not a piece of meat..  so i would strongly object but if someone patted my hand.. that's just about acceptable... xx

Answer 4

it is not OK to be touched anywhere, he could say

pardon me.

i am with you keep up the good work.

god bless laney

Answer 5

Possible a culture barrier? He was embarassed, it seems, yeah.

Answer 6

It doesn't matter what profession you work in.. no one has the right to put their hands on you.  You reacted naturally by jumping because it made you uncomfortable.  You should not have to feel bad or wrong for this.  I am glad that you stood your ground.

Whether you realize it or not little steps like this move women one step closer towards equality.  I do not understand why some men feel as though they have the right to touch or grab women whenever they feel like regardless of her feelings but its high time us girls but a stop to this.  Good Job :)