As a stay-at-home mom, do you ever feel like you lose your identity?

Question

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE having the opportunity to stay home with my kids full-time, but sometimes I feel like I'm no longer Glenna; I'm just "Momma". (Momma is a wonderful and beautiful title that I wouldn't give up for the world, but I admit I take for granted sometimes.) Sometimes I just miss being known as an educated, social, friendly, s**y independant woman. Am I just off my rocker or do any of you SAHM's sometimes feel the same way? I guess its not even necessarily SAHM's. Do ANY of you mom's ever feel this way?

Answer 1

Yes, I do think most stay at home moms feel this way! While I'm like you, I love my children and the time I spend with them, I too feel like I've lost my identity. That's only compounded by how some people view you as well. 'Well, she doesn't work.' I don't work! You try it. You try not having a moment for yourself (at least when I was working I could take off work to get a haircut or go to the dr while my kids were at daycare!), breaking up fights, trying to teach your kids life's lessons all day long, only speaking in short sentences all day long. I remember when I had my first child I went back to work after 13 weeks, and I was so ready to get back to adult life! I think when you become a SAHM you aren't looked at as equal among the adult population. It doesn't matter that when you were working you weren't spending but 4 hours or so with your children, hey, at least you were working! Even though when I was working by the time I paid daycare, gas, and meals for work my check wasn't covering much of anything else! My hardest stigma has been how the public views me. But, I know I have the hardest job! It may not be the best paying job, but it is the most rewarding in the long run.

Answer 2

I have been home for 3 years now... It does seem like most of my identity is "x*x's mom". The only thing that helps my sanity is that I am an avon rep. I get to be "sarah, the avon lady" sometimes. When things get so crazy that I can't stand the sight of 4 walls anymore I pack the kids up and go deliver orders or brochures.

Answer 3

yes i;m married and stay home with my two kids and i feel so useless sometimes i think about the old days when i was young and go anywhere and do anything but the thing i have to always remember is that being a mom is the most important job in the world , sometimes i make time fo rmyself have someone watch the kids and just go shopping or something do something for yourself to make you feel better

Answer 4

I feel this way at least every other day.   I keep reminding myself that my child is worth everything in the world and my time spent with him is priceless.  As the previous poster stated,  even when you work, you feel that way.  I've both worked and stayed at home, and working didn't make that feeling go away, but missing my baby was more painful.

Take off your shades, look in the mirror and realize that you're still an educated, social, friendly, s**y independent woman who happens to be blessed with kids.  They'll grow up before you know it and you'll be back at work missing these precious years.

Answer 5

First off- you don't have to be a stay at home to feel the same way.  I work full-time (so I get a fair amount of time with adults)- however, I still feel as if I have lost myself.  I no longer do so much of what I did prior to kids (scrapbooking, playing soccer, exercising, etc).  I have found it difficult to find the time to work on the things that I miss.

Don't worry I think 99% of moms feel the same way!  :-)

Answer 6

being mom is one of the most significiant role in life

Answer 7

i know what you mean. i feel like i have no social life at all now. i was going to join a local moms group so that i can be around people! i get bored and lonely sometimes when i am at home all day and night by myself for like 3 of 5 days. (my husband works a lot)

i can't even remember the last time i was out past 9pm!

i better get used to it though. my daughter is only 10 months so i am getting in the groove and loving every minute of being with her but i still need to adjust!

Answer 8

Maybe I have a little different view since my kids are now 12,14 and 17. I worked such LOOOONG hours when they were little (at times 36 hour shifts in ER and on Life-Flight) that I missed so very many things while they were growing into little Fun People that my time with them now is Cherished. I decided 5 years ago to work from home and be a Full-Time stay-at-home Mom.Do I feel a little taken for granted at times? Definitely! But the relationship that has grown and developed over these past 5 years with my kids is irreplaceable, we always had a close bond but now it is amazing...I am at every Cheer, Football and Wrestling Practice and have only missed 1 of my sons Football Games in 5 years...there are Pros and Cons to being a SAHM...but let me tell you...the PROS FAR outweigh the Cons...there is a HUGE Pay-Off in always being available to your children.