As a step-parent how do i deal with a out of control teen?

Question

As a step-parent how do i deal with a out of control teen?

Answer 1

Talk to the teens mom or dad. You have to understand that you are not that teens parent, despite your parental figure. As a teen with step parents, i dislike it when they try to take control. I never really listen to them until they realize they aren't my real parent.  

Answer 2

I have same problem!

I am trying to not think too seriously. May be they need time to grown up. It is helpful to me write in here and ask mental help.

I don't know how your case is but about my case , I never get too emotional in front of the teen. I know if Idid things going more bad.

People says that, love the child as a your child. But it is so difficult. the chid never treat me as a even step mother.

People says go to counseling . But if the child refuse it?

What can I do ?

Well, I try to make a least contract with her. Just avoid more trouble.

It means we do not disturb each other.

My case it help.

She got tired the things she is doing soon. Teen ager changes so fast.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Well try talking to them but don't be too hard on them. I know it sounds like terrible advice but you need to start that. Because if they think they are being told what to do they will refuse.

So try hanging with her do things she likes and the closer you get with her the better it will be. She will feel like she has someone she can always talk too.

Answer 4

Jennifer as a step-parent there is only one time when I had to raise my voice to my youngest step-daughter.  It was a couple of years ago and she had just broken up with one of her boyfriends, at age 16.  At the time her mother and I were not aware that she had become a cutter and was cutting herself to deal with some of the issues she felt she couldn't cope with, ie: not hearing from her real dad, boyfriend problems, etc.  Well we got home from being out and the front window of the house was broken.  She was sitting on the sofa and bawling and somehow apologized to her mother, then ran into the bathroom and locked the door.  She refused to answer the door for her mom so I went to the door and once again she refused to open it.  I yelled at her something about how selfish she was being etc and she did open the door and showed her wrist that was bleeding badly.  We immediately brought her to the hospital.  While there she had to speak with a mental health specialist and ended up being sent out of town to have a battery of tests done to make sure she was alright mentally.  While away, it was only for 4 days and 3 nights, she saw other youths who had really abused themselves and some where going to be there for the remainder of their lives due to mental health issues.  Although this was not meant to be used as a scared straight event in her life that is exactly how it happened to her.  She now is done with her self abuse and doesn't have to see anyone for her problems any longer.  In addition her father is now back in her life and we all get along great.  Being a step-parent is difficult at times but can also be very rewarding.  My older step-daughter asked me to walk her down the aisle as she also was having troubles with her natural dad.  I told her that I felt honoured that she would even consider me to do such a great thing but felt it was only right that she ask her dad.  She was married and her father did walk her down the aisle.  They used my car to transport her to the event and it was great.  As far as dealing with an out of control teen I found that by dealing with them as if they were my own kids has worked best for me, and they actually seem to appreciate it.  Never have I heard you are not my father once.  But have been thanked many times for taking the time and interest in what is happening in their lives.  Best of luck.

Answer 5

You don't.  His father needs to deal with him.  However, you are there to support and back up your husband.  One of the key techniques that teens use is to attempt to split the parents.  You and your husband need to sit down with a therapist and make sure you are both on the same sheet of music about your family issues.  After you know you are united, it might be a good idea to bring the child into family counseling.

Answer 6

Step-parent or not if the teen had had the values, respect for himself and morals instilled in him from birth you would not be having problems.

Since you are a step-parent dealing with an abusive teen chances of him wanting to listen to you are less than if you were his actual mother.

His father needs to be the one to step in and set limitations and expect them to be followed. It is hard enough being a step-parent, but when you are one and have to set the rules and guide it makes it harder on the child and you. The parent of this child needs to be a very big part of what you need help with.

You deserve respect and if this child respected himself he would respect you.