As a vegetarian, how do I stomach cooking meat for my husband?

Question

I am strongly leaning towards becoming a full-time vegetarian, eating only vegetables and natural foods (no cheese or eggs and no soy/tofu or "meat substitute" products either). My husband is a meat eater. How do I cook for both of us? Sometimes cooking meat absolutely turns my stomach, but he has to have it with each meal or he doesn't get full.

Answer 1

make him cook it himself!

Answer 2

cook something and let him make the meat to add to eat or he can pick something up after work

Answer 3

I'll admit that I'm not married. BUT when I first turned vegetarian, I was living with my boyfriend. He still ate meat. We both respected one another's decision to eat what we wanted. He never asked me to fix his meat and I didn't ask him to fix my food.

He knew that it would be against my principles, so he would cook his own food.

I know my situation was a lucky one, but if you don't have the stomach to cook meat, then you shouldn't. I know you love your husband and all, but he's a grown man. He can fix what he wants to eat.

Answer 4

he can cook his own food right? he's a grown man!  you do not HAVE to cook him meat or anything else your strongly against.  if he wants it, he can cook it.  

try to find foods you both like. for me the meat subsitutes really really help.  he likes them because they taste good and they are healthier.  i like them for the same reasons but also because there is no animal death involved :)  so using this i can make us a lot of the same foods.  when i make meals with beans and tofu and such he just doesnt' get as filled up.  so he needs twice as much of it lol  i still do for lunches and such but we rely on the meat subs a lot.  what do you plan on using for protein without soy, tofu, meat subs, eggs, cheese, etc?  why don't you take it in steps? go vegetarian and try to find a way to make that work for both of you... than you can further cut out other products...

Answer 5

Since you married and had no problem with it till now - him possibly not being accepting of it is a possibility.  Thus the approach that you take with him is important.

My suggestion is that you sit down and talk to him about it.  Don't argue - discuss.  I would think that he knows that you have been leaning towards becoming a full time vegetarian - you live in the same home.  So it shouldn't be a shock to him.  See if you can find common ground to work from.

Your choice shouldn't become a problem in your marriage.  There are many things that the both of you can do.  Just have to talk it thru and work it out.

Answer 6

i'm a vegetarian and my husband is a midwestern meat-and-potatoes kind of guy......i do not cook meat for him.

i cook vegetarian food only, and if he wants meat he can cook it on the side and add it to his meal, or he can grill out if it's nice outside.

some might think that i forced him into this, but we made the decision together and he is perfectly fine with cooking his own meat dishes.  i think it's only fair that if i have to cook every night that he can cook his own chicken drumstick.  

marriage is all about compromise......but that doesn't mean compromising your values.  talk it over with him and see if he's willing to cook his own meat if you do the rest of the work.....you might be surprised!  many users of this forum are married to or are dating meat eaters, and many use the same method of compromise that my husband and i do.

like another user suggested, ask him to try a few meat substitutes.  my husband loves the morningstar farms brand products.

EDIT:  couple of things.....we tried quorn products for the first time last night, and my husband LOVED it.....he ate it so fast that he was done with his food before i even got through half.  so i would highly suggest trying quorn's faux chicken =)

also, to all of you who are saying that she should cook it anyway and that "that's a sacrifice you have to make to save your marriage"......i ask you this:  if your spouse were jewish and obeyed kosher law, would you ask them to cook you pork?  of course not, because that would be asking them to go against their morals and beliefs.  it's the same for vegetarians....asking us to cook meat is asking us to do something that we have very deep convictions about.

Answer 7

Or ...... from a different point of view.

Since you preparing the meals is sort of accepted household routine.  

And since YOU are the one wanting to change your diet.

You could just suck it up and cook the meat.

Seriously, don't you think you're being pretty selfish?

Eat whatever you want.  But when your lifestyle change forces the other around you to have to adapt, that is just selfish.

Answer 8

Well since this is 2008 you should be requierd to cook for your husband and expecially because your a vegetarian you shouldn't have to cook him meat and he should understand that.

Answer 9

You don't do it.  If he needs it to "feel full", he can get it himself.  You shouldn't have to make yourself sick because he thinks he needs meat at every meal.  That's a one way ticket to heart disease and cancer, by the way.  Congrats on your choice!  :)

Answer 10

I am a vegitarian and have been married 12 years to a meat-eater. I always cook meat for him. I am a stay at home mom and he works 60 hours a week to support his family. I think it is my duty to cook whatever he wants whether I want to or not. After 12 years I don't mind it that much.

Answer 11

just do it...thats the best way to show him that your love for him knows no boundaries and hurdles...hes your hubby,not your slave!

Answer 12

Be honest with him. Explain to him just how disgusting you find meat to be. Let him know that if you cook, you will use meat substitutes.  If he wants real meat, he either needs to cook it himself or purchase pre-cooked meat.

Answer 13

This sounds like something you need to discuss with him. If you really can't stand to cook meat then you shouldn't have to. Maybe you can get most of the food ready and have him cook the meat (since he's the one that wants it). Maybe he can learn to like meat substitutes. Maybe you can cook the dishes that don't turn your stomach. Maybe a combo of all three suggestions. :)

Answer 14

sorry but you do not have to.c´m on it is food.and you should not feel like throwing up in your own kitchen.have everything ready for him.a cold drink,salads,soup,pasta dessert.and learn how to start the grill.or have the sauce for the meat-just the sauce,or ingredients ready.that is say,chopped onion tomato etc if he wants a stew ready for him to throw in the meat.the point is that when he comes home from work he does not feel neglected or that you do not care for his eating needs.he arrives home hungry and he can have his cold drink-soda,beer what ever.he can start the meat be it in a stew of throw it on the grill while he enjoys soup and salad..

Answer 15

Perhaps that is one of the sacrifices that you have to make to stay married.

Answer 16

make him a small meat loaf for 2 or 3 days and cook the symple meats such as hamburgers, or steak for 3 persons and freeze the rest for another day. make sure to use freezer paper and freezer bags to keep them tasty? I guess? anyway where thay will be eatable later and not taste freezer burn. As you can see I do not eat the meat eather.

if you make your burgers and freeze them you can use them the same way. tofu does not freeze well as burger but you can use gluten or bulgar or soy grumbles and freeze them for use later as burger for sloppy joes. Tofu can be cut up and diced or frozen solid but the texture will change then you can thaw it and use it in entrees with with the texture can be a complement but most recipes do not do well with this kind of texture you will need to pick and choose.

every man and woman has the right to choose to eat the way they do. if you married him eating meat and became a vegetarian you will remember what the idea was like when you qiute eating meat. if you have always been a vegan then why would you not decide to know if he eat meat before marrying him?

he has the right to eat meat and if you are the cook and married a meat eater, then now you have to learn to accept that. Give him the rights you have and share the responsible for choosing to find yourself here.

Answer 17

I swapped in meat substitutes when making soups, stews, pastas, etc.  When my girlfriend found out that it wasn't real meat and that she was stuffed, she also found that she didn't mind it so much and started to eat meat substitutes as well.  I think that you have to show them that a vegetarian or vegan meal can be just as filling.  He should also show some respect that you don't want to make meat for dinner and since you are not eating it, you should not have to cook it.

Answer 18

My wife (33 years) stopped eating red meats 20 odd years ago, she makes a meal and if I want meat then I cook it and wash the pans that cooked the meat, although now and again and always at Christmas she cooks the full (meat and all) meal and I always do the washing up. This is sharing and caring for your partner and understanding their feelings. There are many meals that he can eat from the supermarket take away, delicatessen and hot meat section. I was raised to work in the family "butcher shop" often spending time with drivers collecting livestock from farms and markets for their final trip to the slaughterhouse - meat was our staple diet and I thought a meal was a slab of meat with some veggies on the side and now eat a lot of Asian, Italian and other types of food rather than the traditional roast and some veg dishes.

We cook meals that meat is an addition to the meal not the other way round and are healthier and happier for it.

Answer 19

he doesn't care about his health?

how does eating meat make him get full? that is bloated...

print off all the lists of the recalled meat and meat products...

increase his life insurance since eating meat he will go before you do...

it is a health and nutrition issue, there is no nutritional value in dead animal flesh....

being vegetarian costs less,should easily cut you grocery bill in half or more when the meat is gone.

the soy and tofu products are very healthy and full of protein which is needed for good health.

and if he wants meat he does know how to use the fry pan or the BBQ...

Answer 20

He does not "have to have it".  Do what many couples do..make a vegetarian meal and he can cook his own meat to add to his meal.

Answer 21

Well, how much do you love him?  Enough not to force your ideology on him?  

There are a lot of things that turn my stomach but I deal with them because people I actually care about engage in those activities or eat those foods or have those socio-political views.  I'm also quite fond of someone whose astrotheological literary device quite literally makes me ill just thinking about it.  

I just deal with it.  My love for those around me far outweighs any squemishness I may feel about their issues.  Which are really mine or they wouldn't be upsetting me and not them, right?

~Syl