As a woman, have you ever felt guilty about treating your man well?

Question

...maybe because you feel like you're subjugating yourself to him or because you don't want him to think that you're obligated to treat him well? The reason I ask is because it took a long time for my wife (after a very bad previous marriage) to really feel comfortable occasionally treating me "like a king." She used to get really stressed and touchy but now she's a lot better about it and she really seems to enjoy doing nice things for me (I blame this partially on the fact that I'm simply an awesome man :P ...I'm gonna get flamed now, right?).

So do you ever feel bad about being good to a man?

Answer 1

Not at all, as long as he appreciates it and the effort in the relationship is equal. I thin kte type of people my hubby and I are, I am the dominant one out of the two, it's just the way we are, I like to make decisions and lead and he likes being told what to do. But when you love someone you enjoy doing nice things for them. I enjoy making hubby a nice meal, with a little note on the side that says 'i love you' and brining him bac ka gift from the shops. I work from home wheras he doesn't so I think it's fair that as I can, I end work slightly early and get teh dinnre on /tidy up.

Of course it works both ways and my hubby always treats me as a Princess.

Answer 2

What?! How could I ever feel guilty about treating someone well? I've lived independently from the strictures of society's rigid  standards. I dish out the nice-ness (?) to a lot of people, including boys. I don't feel weak for it.

Answer 3

Why would I ever feel badly about treating anyone well, let alone my man? Even when people have hurt me I still treat them well because it's much harder to be mean to someone when they are being nice to you.

I try to live my life by the Golden Rule I teach my third graders. Treat others as you wish to be treated.

Answer 4

No I don't feel bad about treating someone well. However, my deceased husband couldn't accept when i did nice things for him.Go figure!

Answer 5

I have never really felt like I was subjugating myself with my husband.  My hardest issue to deal with is the fact that I am a COMPLETE control freak from the house, kids, to money.  (He has three children from 2 previous relationships.)  Now my biggest issue is to pamper him and not smother him because he does have serious health issues, and I have had to adjust my habits and how I act with him, because for awile there I basically treated him like one of the kids.  The whole you can't do this, you can do this......the usual.  He had a harder time with me, because his two ex's weren't responsible and dependable so it took me about 6 years to get him to relax.  He was more like your wife in this case.  He went from abuse to him and the kids, from drug and alcohol abuse, and abandonment......a whole lot of crapola.  In time she'll realx and twenty years from now you'll both have a little groove thing going on, lol!

I have to admit, I am a pretty awsome to my other half too, so how can I flame you for just being honest? LMAO!!!

Answer 6

i love my boyfriend. why would i feel bad about treating him well? like your wife i was married once before. i had some old habits and thoughts to break but i kept in mind that my boyfriend was not my ex. he's an entirely different person(whom i adore). i'm happy to hear your wife is coming around. i think she probably just needed to heal.

Answer 7

i think in your situation it was more of a trusting another person issue, i mean if you were treated poorly person after person then everyone new will be seen as not being trustworthy. so its hard to give someone 100% you.youll always put up that wall of protection until you know you can let go.....and no i dont feel bad about being good to my bf makes him happy so im happy and everyones happy.....but i do feel bad when i treat him like c**p,cuz he really is great.

yet i do see what your trying to say......interesting

Answer 8

no ,cus if u treat someone good u dont have to be guilty ..............if it seems they dont feel comfortable then i would stop &dats when i would stop

Answer 9

I am superior..i am woman..what is this guilty you speak of?

im also a pain in the butt, and obnoxious..

oh but to answer you...ive never had a man...

i have no use for relationships. nor s*x.

but i have had a few male friends..and i treated them nicely.

Answer 10

of course not

i treat my partner well often, and he does the same to me. we do it because we want to, maybe we see that the other has had a hard day and any little things we can do will help them to feel better. i certainly don't feel 'obligated' to treat him well

but i could understand that if someone has been EXPECTED to pander to someone's every whim that they would get a bit touchy if they felt under the slightest pressure to act in a certain way, especially if in the past this was not reciprocal

Answer 11

No, but I do get irritated if I feel like it's not being reciprocated. One of the reasons my ex-husband is an ex is because I used to get home from work after him, only to be greeted with "What's for dinner?" You tell me, Buddy.

Answer 12

I've never felt bad about treating a man well.. I think men should be treated well and respected.

Answer 13

I think the sun shines out of my husbands butt! I love treating him like a king. He is awsome! And dont feel bad about saying you are an awsome guy. However... sometimes my husband gets nasty with me becasue he is in a bad mood form work or what ever. (Guys have PMS too! My husband calls it Putting up with Michelle's s**+*...lol) When he gets cranky it does make it really hard to treat him well. I do the best I can but sometimes I just gotta let him have it. Then we both laugh and get over it. Treating your man good is the only way to treat him. Your life will be roses if you do.