As an AP would you consider?

Question

give an adopted child their original birth certificate upon turning legal age if it was given to you by the Foster parents? Why or why not?

Answer 1

If it was available, sure.  It doesn't contain any info that I don't already know and won't be able to tell my daughter anyway.

Answer 2

I would do it. It's not something I would need to ponder over.

Those are THEIR records. It wouldn't be my place to keep something that belonged to them away from them. I think it would be really great if the foster parents did that, and I would be really grateful for it.

If I had a copy of the birth certificate, they could have it. Period.

Just wanted to add that I would not wait till they were 18 to tell them the information on the certificate. I would tell them that when they wanted. But the actual physical document or copy, I would hang onto until they reached adulthood just to ensure safekeeping.

Answer 3

Of course I would. It belongs to my child.  

Answer 4

We are finally in contact with my 10 monh old's first parents, and it's going great.  I'm hoping that he always knows who gave birth to him, and who loved him first, and who knew that by placing him for adoption, that it was an act of love on their part, knowing their history.  Our goal is for him to always know that we all four love him, and want what is best for him, in many, many ways.  I think that children should always know, good or bad.  I know that the information shouldn't ever be hidden from them, and that even younger children should know information as they're ready and able to handle it.

Answer 5

I was adopted, and received my original birth cert when I turned 18. I'd known "forever" that I was adopted, and knew my birth name anyway, so it really wasn't a big deal. I didn't get in touch with my birth mom until about 20 years later, and that was because she initiated it. I guess I'm biased, but I think that all adoptees have the right to know their history, even if it's just the 9 month period they were being carried by their bmom.

imho

MJ

Answer 6

Absolutely.  

Answer 7

My son was originally my foster child. I was given a copy of his birth certificate because I needed it to enroll him in school. I am thankful that I kept it. My son knows I have it, he has seen it and he knows where I keep it. Since he is only 14 (and not real responsible) I keep it in our safe with everyone's birth certificates. He knows he can see it any time he wants to though. Last year his mother's father passed away and I kept a copy of his obituary because it lists all the kids and grandkids. I think this will also help him when he wants to meet his relavtives on this side of the family.  

Answer 8

Absolutely.

I wouldn't say 18 is the "magic" age to give them their certificate...  I'd say when they are old enough to take care of it themselves.  That doesn't mean you'd be hiding it (as some are saying)...  it's a responsibility thing...  an important and possibly irreplaceable document that you don't just want to hand over to children.

Answer 9

of course.

Answer 10

Of course...but why wait until 18?  My children are well aware that they are adopted, my one daughter is in contact with her first family...and hopefully my other one will be some day as well...I think she just needs her space right now.  Why is 18 the magical number?  I think when a child is ready and is emotionally prepared to meet their family...that is their right, whether they are 18 or not.  Being open and honest is the very best thing you can do for a child...whether or not it strokes your own ego.

Answer 11

I was an adopted child and I am almost 40 now.  I cannot remember a time that I did not know that I was adopted.  My parents told me how desperately they wanted a child, how they couldn't have their own and how long they had to wait to get me.  They told me that my birthmother loved me and wanted me to have a chance at a better life.

So, to make a long story short, I never really cared too much about who my birth parents might be.  If I had an adopted child and was not in an "open" addoption and had the original birth certificate I probably would not turn it over to the child at least until they were 18 unless there were extenuating circumstances.

I ended up meeting my birth mother after trying to research my medical history and I regret it.  My birthmother wants to establish a relationship w/ me and I'm not interested.  I don't have enough time to spend with the family that raised me.

Answer 12

My children's original birth certificates are available to them anytime, I have put it in an album/scrapbook of their life which contains everything I have about them prior to them joining our family.  They can look at their books anytime.

Of course I will not officially give them full responsibility of all their documents until they are adults, but that is only because I consider these documents precious and I want them to be treated with care.

Answer 13

I think waiting until they turn 18 is b/s. It serves the purpose of the Ap's only. I would always make sure my children knew everything growing up. I'm not God and I don't feel its right to play her/him.  As an Adoptee I would be PO if I found out my aps were withholding information. Children deserve respect at all ages not just when they turn 18.   In countries like Argentina where children were taken from their parents during the dirty wars.....Judges who had a conscience, decided to wait no longer than 13 before they informed the children they were kidnapped.  All the children reunited  made the decision to stay with their bio families after a few years. They never spoke to the Ap's again.

Answer 14

My daughter already has seen hers and she is seven. There is no need to hide anything.

Answer 15

As an adopted child, I am not really "supposed" to be answering your question lol.  But, since I know what my adopt-mom would have done if we had my original birth certificate, she would have given it to me when I was around 16, but would have asked me to delay my search until I was 18.  She has always been super supportive of my finding my bio-family, but she was adopted too so I think she knows where I am coming from.

Answer 16

I am adopted and am now in my 40's and my adoptive parents are both dead. i wish they would have given me the info but they never got the origional so they said.

They never hid that I was adopted but i never had any info which i wish i had.

I have placed a daughter for adoption when I was 15 and got pregnant Her and I found one another when she looked for me through one of the registries. It was a great thing and we talk and she is close with her sister and brothers

I think adoptess have a right to the info to know who they are in a sense that is something i totally missed out on when we done things in school like ancestors i never had a clue and felt left out My parents never talked about such things even for the adoptive family though so maybe if they had it would have been different.

i would give it to them or at least give them the option to have it.

Answer 17

Of course I would.  I don't even see why this would have to wait until age 18, unless there was some seriously compelling reason to do so.  

We have our children's OBCs.  They certainly don't need to wait until they are 18!

Answer 18

most foster kids from the USA system adopted by after age two know good and well they were adopted...

my kids have access to birth parents pictures, copies of original birth records, etc...

and they are not 18 yet, it is part of their reality.  why in the world would you try and hide that?  

Answer 19

Absolutely.

Answer 20

Hi Lori,

Yes absolutely.  Why, because its theirs to have like any other american citizen.