As an Adoptive Parent, what single piece of advice would you give to a younger Adoptive Parent?

Question

Thank you for your time:)

Answer 1

Keep your mind and your heart open to all possibilities.

Try to see things from the perspective of the adoptee and the first mom.

Answer 2

If you are adopting out of foster care - have lots and lots of patience!  They (the children) did not ask not to be raised by there parents it was a choice made for them.

Answer 3

Love them and treat them as your own flesh and blood.  It is the BEST thing I have ever done in my life.  I wish you luck! Congrats

Answer 4

Accept your kids as they are and love them unconditionally.

Answer 5

Adopt asian babies. More compliant and passive and fit better to your lifestyle.  

Answer 6

Take the time to welcome your child into your family privately. Do not greet her with a brood of extended family. Make the moment quiet and calm. Go home and spend time as a family unit for at least a week before you introduce her to friends and family. For a baby, this helps create a peaceful, low-stim environment. For an older child, this helps her to have time to bond and adjust without pressure and expectations from outsiders.

Also, be sure to tell her adoption story to her from day one. Always talk happily and openly about the way your family was made so that your child doesn't remember a big day when she got the shocking news. Tell her her story in a way that she can relate to others if she decides to talk about it.  

Answer 7

Consider keeping contact with first family.  I can't imagine how I would feel right now if I hadn't gotten to know my kids' first mom.

Answer 8

Life does not always seem FAIR!

Hi!  I am a Forgive Affirmed Spirit and this is what I profess and try to act like.

Forgive Affirmed Spirit is the belief in a way of life that is a method of grief resolution and functional communication processing involving active listenning, sympathy, empathy and affirmation of shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression, loneliness and hope...a kind of ego-equilibrium seeking methodology.

A Greater Works of communication and action, a way to learn to love your enemies "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you AS IF YOU WERE THEM!"  



And nobody is perfect!  NOBODY!  We are all judgeable, hopefully in a graceful discerning way!   We are all doing our best every moment!

Humans judge everything  as we are a part of it.  Without difference, we have nothing to live for, nothing to witness.  Sin is difference, the relative seriousness with regards to law and survival of other beings, is punishable by the courts. The best way to judge is with as much graceful discernment as one can muster in a given moment!

Life is the question(uncertainty) asked by the exhaling infinitely compacted imagination invention, or no thing, which is completely certain of everything, completely omniscient or all knowing.

When I die, I believe I will be in a new state, aware of all that is and yet divided into the nature of dust that I am in, whereupon my dust shall fall.  My being will remain an infinite part of an infinite being and infinite knowledge without my material human being status of now. So there will be a change.



But my soul, my passions and discompassions, will move on to infinite places of comfort and challenge.  Able to return to this state of uncertainty and free choice illusion for another ride when it is called effectively to do so.

So that the children of God, the creations of God, .. are actually part in parcel of that God or Creation Energy!

This  life is a roller coaster ride. Enjoy your passion within it and whatever gathering of two or more in Forgive Affirmed Spirit to make it better can garner.

Healing be unto you and yours and me and mine in

Forgive Affirmed Spirit

Answer 9

Keep your adoption as open as possible!

Don't let communication break down.  

Ask your child's mother to request copies of the original birth certificate for you, and keep them safe.

Give her a copy or copies of the amended certificate when it is available.

Ok.. that's four not one.. but you get the idea!

Answer 10

As an adoptive child, Ä°'d say try to adopt them as quickly out of the womb as you can, for the childs sake so they don't have to risk developing an attachment disorder.

And, there's always going to be some strange, confusing, complex, perhaps jealous feelings with the birth mother, whether you keep the info from them and they find it out themselves and have some sort of idolization about meeting their birth parents only to realize they are a big disappointment, or whether you decide to make the birth parent a part of the childs life, which can be a sensitive subject and difficult to manage. All said though, Ä° think honesty and positive thinking and openess is the best way for everyone with rules for the birthmother.

And if you give the child lots of love as one of your own and instill good values in your child they will give you the same in return, whether or not youre related.

Hope this helps.

Answer 11

If you're adopting a young child or infant, be honest and up front with them.  Don't wait to let them know they are adopted.  It's best they know everything from the start.

Answer 12

Hmmm.. A single piece of advice. You must know that is hard for me! :)

Counseling for the entire family is a must if you are adopting an older child. Originally it was just my adopted son that was seeing a counselor. Thankfully it was the counselor that suggested we have family sessions. These sessions helped our family so much. The older kids got to see where their brother was coming from and my husband and I got to see things through our children's (all of them) eyes. Just last year I started seeing the counselor on my own and have over come alot of my anger towards his first parents. So, counseling to me it the most important thing a family that is adopting can do for the sanity of the entire family.