Ashes "Special Report": The elusive Punter manages to outrun the law (Part 1)
Ricky Ponting does not pull off a very beautiful face when Jonathan Trott scores another century. He feels his stomach lurching, his head giddy and his heart racing. He knows that the moment of reckoning is near, that he would have to pull a Houdini on the Englishmen, do whatever it takes to stop the Englishmen from winning the Ashes. Frantic, he calls up Shane http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Watson-c96326 to do a nude shot and distribute it in the English camp. Unfortunately, that does not seem to have the effect, James Anderson’s nude shots had on the Australian camp. The Englishmen by now are used to seeing exposed flesh of the same gender.
The Punter is desperate. He does not know what to do. Soon he would become the second man after George W Bush to lose so frequently. He knows, it would place a big black blot on his face, on his career. From being the loved man of Australian cricket he would soon be unwanted.
Soon he hears a cry of celebration from the field. He turns to Merv Hughes and tries to send him in for Ryan Harris hoping against hope that Hughes would not be recognized and would be allowed to bat. The match referee does not allow that as they spot moustaches sprouting from the nostrils of Ryan Harris. They know, it is not the bowler but his great step aunt.
The Australian Police issue a warrant for arrest for Ricky Ponting. ICC confirms that the warrant issued by Cricket Australia is indeed legal. Ricky Ponting, wears his lucky socks. He knows, he can outwit the police, only if he thinks, or better still if he takes young Mitch with him. However, before he could even make his way out of the dressing room, trained commandos take their spot around the MCG cricket Stadium. They disrupt the 9 Australian fans trying to leave, while the English fans were oblivious to the armed assault taking place. The Poms were too busy doing the chicken dance with their team lead by Graeme Swann replicating the old fashioned English hen.
The Punter locks himself up with the rest of the team in the dressing room. He calls out to the commandos and informs them that he should either be left alone or he would kill every one of the remaining Australian players in the dressing room with his fractured pinky finger. The commandos assure him that in case that happened, he would get a much reduced sentence by Cricket Australia.
Shouts and screams start emerging from the Australian dressing room. Mitchell Johnson starts purring, trying to hide his face with the cat tattoo on his arm. The attempt proves to be successful as the Punter takes him for a cat. Ponting calls out to Mike Hussey.
“Huss, I need your help. Your nose will prove to be the perfect lever to help me climb into the air vent,” Ponting whispers.
Hussey places his nose strategically letting the Punter use it as a lever to climb into the air vent. The Police manage to break into the dressing room and gun down Michael http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Clarke-c51120 and a cat. It was later found that it was not a cat but Mitchell Johnson.
These players were gunned down to ensure strict compliance with the Cricket http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Australia-c746 policy of maximum collateral damage.
The Police try to pull out Ponting from the air vents but he is nowhere to be found. They take their frustration out on Hussey and use his nose as a lever to help the commandos climb the air vents.
Continued in Part 2...
Tags: