Ashes "Special Report": The elusive Punter manages to outrun the law (Part 2)
All of Melbourne is sealed down and the sewer system is monitored to see for any sign of the Punter. During this time, the 57,000 English fans at MCG started making chicken noises to celebrate with their team. Panic ensues as Australians try to run away from the ear drum shattering chicken sounds coming from the MCG.
However, this time there is no television looting. The Australians do not want to see the 'damned' Englishmen doing the chicken dance. They just run frantically in different directions.
Cricket Australia soon after admits that the Punter might have managed to escape. Michael Hussey has been found to be injured with a torn nose. Cricket Australia holds a press conference to suggest that Ricky Ponting probably anticipated the raid on the dressing room and very cleverly managed his escape. It is also learnt that he took special help from the Prison Break guy.
Cricket Australia has also issued a press statement, which reads, “Anyone having the slightest clue about the whereabouts of the Punter is requested to contact the special hotline for Cricket Australia ‘Ponting capture’ sponsored by Sky Sports and the rest of the English media. It is requested that the citizens do not try and capture Ponting themselves because he possesses the art of killing people with his broken pinky finger. He is extremely dangerous only when he does not have a cricket bat in his hands.”
It is also learnt that the Police all over Australia have been put on high alert, with commandos stationed at all airports, schools and play areas of restaurants. The citizens have been requested to stay alert and inform the police as soon as they spot the Punter.
According to one police official, “This is probably the one thing Ponting very carefully planned out all summer.”
His escape has been termed as the ‘escape of the century’. Larry King Live is now holding a special show about the escape of the Punter and how he used the nose of Michael Hussey as a lever to climb into the air vent. The guests on the show will be Simon http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Cowell-c51632, Paris Hilton and the Prison break dude.
In other unrelated news, it has been learnt that keeping in view the batting woes of the top order of New Zealand team, they have decided to announce an unknown player in their side. The previously unheard of Richie Pointing has been termed as a batting phenomenon and would trouble the http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Pakistan-c755 side with his antics on the field. It is said, that this unheard batsman has a very confrontational approach when it comes to playing cricket and has also been lobbying against the hotspot. His campaign, ‘I love my Aleem’ has picked up pace, which is a movement aimed at stopping the ICC from replacing umpire Aleem Dar with machines.
The captain of the New Zealand side Daniel Vettori claimed that the high level of experience of Richie Pointing in losing will make him an asset for the New Zealand team. Vettori has said that Pointing will have a very bright future for http://www.senore.com/Cricket/New-Zealand-c754 cricket.
Meanwhile, there have been no reports about the whereabouts of the escaped convict, the Australian skipper. The Englishmen have since been doing the chicken dance on the MCG and the barmy army have refused to leave the ground. The Poms are so happy with their first Ashes win in http://www.senore.com/Cricket/Australia-c746 since the invention of Internet that they have vowed to do the chicken dance at the MCG for another two decades. Kevin Pietersen has claimed that it was because of him that the chicken ever learnt the chicken dance in the first place. He has been hit by a brick and doctors have said that this should shut him up for a few more days.
(The writer is a sports fanatic who transforms into Mitchell Johnson's ex-girlfriend at night. Something like WG Grace with a nose ring)
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