Ask father permission to marry?

Question

how do I ask him for permission to marry his daughter? I've heard that you want to do it over drinks, but we don't drink. however... we do enjoy guns, and I'm going to shoot some clay pigeons with him tomorrow. maybe then... but only when he's empty. lol. we both enjoy karate, so I could ask him while we're sparring. Now this is actually safe since I'm taller, faster, stronger and I outrank him. lol. he's a really great guy and he's said I'm the son he never had. the biggest fight we've ever had is whether it's better to use gas or charcoal for steaks. I say charcoal. :p I'm getting the ring soon. should I show him the ring when I ask so he can see I'm serious, or should I wait until I get his blessing, and let her show off the ring? thanks!!

Answer 1

Traditionally, you ask your girlfriend's father for an appointment to see him. Everyone knows what it is for! Your gf and her mother are elsewhere in the house, and then they are called so you can all celebrate together. My husband did this, and I can recall my father saying when he was asked for an appointment....' better get the Champagne on ice then!'

Congratulations.

Answer 2

It's so great that you have a good relationship with (hopefully) your future father-in-law. Why don't you class it up a little and ask the dad and mom out for dinner? They'll probably guess what you're up to, but it shows that you take them, and your relationship with their beloved daughter, seriously. You can take the ring or not, there's no rule, but I would definitely choose a venue that feels deliberate, mature, and serious enough to talk about such an important decision.

Answer 3

You have a good relationship so it will come natural.  I don't think you need to plan anything special.  You won't need to show the ring.  If you have a good relationship, he already knows you're serious (unless of course, you're too young to marry but I assume you're an adult).

Both of our daughters' boyfriends called their father by phone.  Of course, they lived several states away so just dropping in wasn't an option.  

Best wishes!

Answer 4

It sounds like you already have a good relationship with your girlfriend's father.

It seems like if you randomly popped the permission question while you guys were shooting clay pigeons or doing karate, he might think it was akward that in the midst of this activity you decided to ask him a hugely serious question.

If it's so serious, why not ask him to run an errand with you one night while you're hanging out with her family. Say you need to make a run to the grocery store to pick up extra charcoal for the grill or something while everyone else is cooking, and you can say "hey frank*, would you run to the store with me?"

On the way, talk about some stories of you and his daughter and then say that it would make you so proud and happy to have her as your wife... "would you give me your permission to marry her?" when he says yes, make sure he swears to  keep it TOP SECRET so you can surprise everyone.

Anyway, I don't think he cares about seeing the actual ring, because the next week when you pop the question to your girlfriend she'll show it off.

Good luck!

Answer 5

I would let her show off the ring.. It will give her something to be able to shock and wow her family since they will already know she's getting married.. if you and her father get along that well just ask him anytime .. he should agree anytime and anywhere    CONGRATS!

Answer 6

let her show off the ring..i think asking him while youre out having fun would be a great idea

Answer 7

Aw... that's sweet....

I personally think it's better to show him the ring when you tell him you'd like to ask his daughter to marry you, and would like his blessing....

Definately do it while you are 'bonding' (And he's out of bullets for sure!)

I don't like the karate idea....

But that's just me.

Congrats!