Asked this 2 hours ago, dont open if you already read - am i being too paranoid?

Question

well, i know to most of you, i am gonna sound like and insane, clingy, needy, sad, paranoid, anxiety ridden freak.. but thats ok; thats what this website is for, right? :) anyway, my man has been gone for 13 days, on vaca in italy with his kids.. he has called me every night between 6pm and 7pm to say goodnight to me (there is a 6 hour time difference, so it was 12-1am there).. we didnt talk much while he was out there, and that was ok.. i had no problems with it, i knew he was having fun and being good.. but, no matter what he always called to say goodnight.. yesterday was a big italian holiday. i talked to him in the early afternoon briefly, he said he missed me and cant wait to see me on sunday.. told me about his day and that they were all going to his aunts restaurant for dinner that night, then we said good bye, he said he'd call me before he went to bed.. he didnt call.. now, i'm not the least worried he was doing something wrong, or being unfaithful or anything. i figured he had a long night and with his kids and all, he was prolly exhausted and he fell asleep before he knew it.. so, i didnt freak out too much, though i worry, more for his saftey when he doesnt call, but i was ok..

this morning, we chatted via webcam, for about 10 minutes.. his family was all there, so he asked me how the business (his families business i have been watching for them) was doing and if there was any new mail, and how the dogs and birds were (all my responsibility the last 2 weeks) i said all was fine, but the pool turned green.. lol.. he said i looked hott, he liked my hair (i colored it)... i asked him if he got home late last night, and his exact response was, "no, we actually came home early, i was just way too tired..." and this is where i start to bite my tounge... he was too tired to make a 1 minute phone call, like it has been every night, to say goodnight? i dont get it.. but, i smiled and didnt say a word... i am not gonna do that on his last day there... i asked him what he was doing and if he had any plans for today and he said no, right now we're watching the olympics.... then he was ready to go... now, i am trying to look at the right side of this, as, its his last day with his entire family, brother, sister, aunts and uncles he hasnt seem in 4 years, and everyone is together... he is gonna see me tomorrow, and we'll get to be together now, all the time... at the same time, i was expecting at least, "im sorry i didnt call you last night.. i fell asleep.." or "i cant wait to see you.." or anything.. he cant even say i love you to me in front of his family... it makes me nuts.. and now, i sit here worrying why he was acting so strangly, and do i really have a reason to feel this way... or, am i just reading too much into something that really isnt all that big of a deal....

Answer 1

This shouldn't be a big deal. Let it go. You are going to make this a mess. He forgot or was busy with his family. And he will see you Sunday. Be glad that you have a good man and that he cared enough to call you as much as he did.  

Answer 2

You are reading too much into it hun. :)

The only thing that would concern me is why he cant (or wont) say that he loves you in front of his family. Sounds like maybe he is afraid they do not approve of you or something. That would bother me if he never said it just because family was around.

Aside from that, yes, it is his last day with them, and he will see you tomorrow, and when you are together all will be well again :) In fact, after any kind of a seperation (even just a couple of weeks) things tend to get better for a while

Chin up *hugs*

Answer 3

your lookin into his non-call way way too much. most men wouldn't make a nightly call, so him missing one? big deal!

how long have you been together? maybe it makes him uncomforable to say "i love you" ect. in front of people. I doubt that hes having an affair with someone in his family!

Answer 4

My opinion--Yes--I think you are overreacting.  You know him better that we do--but it sounds to me like he has been exceptional.  Don't be to critical--until you have reason--good reason.  You are too up tight.  As I said--that is just my opinion.

Answer 5

Your reading into it too much. You want to see him so bad that if he doesn't respond how you thought he would it makes you a lil paranoid. Rest assure that he probably did have a busy day and he did compliment you and everything. Don't be let that little issue ruin his welcome home day. You don't want him to want to go back on vacation so just try and let it go. You know how family time is...its a very exhausting thing to deal with just think about the holidays.

Answer 6

Do you say "i love you" in front of his family or are you waiting on him to say it first? It sounds like you miss him and you want reinsurance that he misses you to. Just take a deep breath he will be home with you soon so don't worry about it.  

Answer 7

I think you need to wait and see how he acts when you see him because he was probably too tired to call you but you miss him so much that you are reading toooooooo much into something that really is not  a big deal.  Be happy the way he is because you are not going to make him change.  You know he loves you.  

Answer 8

You know that would bother me too! Even to point of not saying he loves you in front of his family sounds like he maybe saying your just working for him that's all.why are you and him just living together,If you are you may want to make it legal after all you don't want to be working for him for nothing and him getting  free fringe benefits on the side.You may want to consider your future in the long run as is every things his you will have no clam and he can toss you out when he wants too-with nothing but the clothes on your back.They have a Law now that if anything should happen to him in death heaven forbid by his family can have you removed with in 24 hr.s or sooner .It takes 2 lawyers one for him and one for you that you and your man have to sign papers leaving you soul beneficiary of all his and your assets.

IF he is not will to sign then I would be lots worried for you don't want to end up on the street one day! wish you luck and happiness.        

Answer 9

I am happy to know that he talked to you today, that was what I predicted last night,at least you won't continue to feel nervous of not hearing from him.

I think you should not nip pick him for just missing one call to you. About not saying I love you in front of his family, there are 2 possibilities (1) Italians maybe not used to openly express what they have in their minds where family member is around, so he tried to avoid that (2) It is about the acceptance of you by his family.  If his family is not willing to accept you to be part of his family, it would put him into difficult situation to say I love you in front of his family. Italian sons are very respectful to their parents, especially their mothers.

If you were able to arrange times to go with him to Italy to meet his family, but he didnt invite you to go, there should have some family issue in his family.

Anyway, you guys don't live in Italy, that is your advantage.

To run a successful long term relationship, it requires a lot of patience, forgiving, understanding and acceptance, not worth to nip pick over a little thing to create a  scenrio which may possibly ruin a relationship that maybe very important to you.

Answer 10

You call him "your man". Are you married? If not, I'd give him the heave ho. He may not have seen his family in a while, but he made the decision to move, you didn't make him. If you are married, it really blows that he can't say I love you on the dad blame phone when his family around. Why didnt you go anyway?