Asking Too Much??

Question

I am in a wedding in January. Its on a Friday night and 2 hours away from where I live. Actually no one in the family/friends leaves near the venue. They all have to drive at least an hour and half to get to it (if not more)....even the bride and groom. Everyone is kind of upset because its 2 weeks after Christmas and in order to go they would have to take the day off work. I know they don't "have" to go but some people like the brides brother is self-employed and just back from a 2 week vacation because its the holidays. Also to get to the venue you have to park a few miles away and take a shuttle. If you want to leave you have to wait until 11 p.m. when the shuttles takes people back.

A lot of people are having a hard time with this.....money wise with gas and the holidays.

What would you think of this? I'm just curious because I'm planning a wedding for 2010 and want to know whats polite and whats not.

Answer 1

personally, I don't think it's too much ( my wedding if 4 hours away!) but what you should do, if stress in the invitation ( or if it's a small wedding, talk to the people invited) that you really don't have to come... that's what i told everyone, even my family! and the people who really care will drive that far to share with you! I really hope this helps. Good luck!

Answer 2

The traveling so close to Christmas wasn't what got me as much as the having to be picked up, shuttled and wait to be shuttled back. What if you are tired and just want to leave early because you have a long drive? You can't!

Answer 3

i think that is a lot to go through... and your probably right about it getting expensive w/ gas prices. if it were me, id want to think about picking a nice place, but also think about if it would be too much trouble for my guests...id feel bad if someone i was close too couldnt come to my wedding just because they couldnt afford it, or because it was a bad time of the year to be taking off work

Answer 4

I am doing a similar thing for my wedding this weekend. granted mine is on a Saturday but it is 3 hours away for almost everyone! (even me) he proposed her so when I booked the venue I thought it was a romantic idea. not to mention things are cheaper there by alot. but I had to get a photographer, DJ, and pastor from my home town and have to pay all their gas and hotel rooms as well as their fees and all our attendants have to take time off work to get there in time for the rehearsal so in the end I feel like I am asking alot from my guests and didn't save any money! on the plus side I still had a hard time keeping the guest list below 150 and the time and money required of the guests to make the trip helped keep the obligatory mom and dad co-workers and neighbors from actually attending which was nice. I would make a T-Chart of the pro's and cons of what ever venue you choose and go from there. it is hard to get items from your living room to 2 or 3 hours away which didn't occur to me until today when my wedding is 3 weeks away! so make sure to put that in your con side lol.

Answer 5

They need to hire a limo driver to drive groups of guests back to their cars whenever they feel like leaving.  My brother and wife did this for their wedding.  Other than that, though, I don't see the big deal.  If you cannot or cannot afford to take off work, you'll just have to arrive for the reception.  My best friend had her wedding in New Orleans, even though she was from TN and her groom from CA.  Imagine the expense to get to that wedding!

Answer 6

I was in a wedding on a Monday last week.  It was 4 hours from where most people lived.  Most people who attended and were in the party took Monday and Tuesday off.  It was completely worth it and not a single person complained.  

If these people getting married are important to you, you'll do it.  It's 6 months away, you could absolutely start planning your budget and ask for the day off work now.  

If they aren't important to you.. well, maybe you shouldn't stand up for them on their wedding day.

Answer 7

ummm...yeah, i think its a little much.

you still have time to find another venue closer to where you live and on a weekend.

if money is an issue, how about a sunday wedding??

i personally wouldnt go to a wedding that i could only get to by shuttle, and then to be told that i couldnt leave until 11pm.

id feel traped, and im sure your guests would fee the same.

Answer 8

I would honestly try to accomadate the party to a couple of weeks later. Maybe change it to a Sat. if money permits. If not, stick with a another date on a Friday. Speak with the venue manager.