Asking again for more answers. Anyone who knows anything about adopting or fostering a family member...?

Question

Basically my husbands cousin is addicted to crack. His wife wont leave him and therefore the state is going to take their kids away. The mom called my husband to see if we could adopt the kids if this happens. Is it hard to adopt if the mother is willing? Also, is there a way we could foster them for a while instead? And try to get the parents to clean up? I dont know much about this and its all so sudden. Has anyone gone through this? Does anyone know how this works? If you answer my other question, don't bother answering this one. Again, Im asking again to see if I can get some more replies. Thanks guys.

Answer 1

I was in the same boat as you over 4 years ago. My cousins lost their children (due to several reasons). My parents at the time were the only ones who could take all the children at first. My cousins asked for them to come forward and foster the children. They went to the DCS and told them they wanted to foster the children. The state then started the paperwork. They had to go to several training session and be certified in CPR. Now if the kids are that deep into the system that is what you will have to do. Now if it has not gone that far your cousins can simply sign over custody and you will be responsible until they can take the kids back (which usually also requires a court date).

Now my cousins never would get their lives together and their children were placed into perm. custody, my husband and I took custody of our son and adopted after rights were terminated. You could foster for a year or so and try to help your cousin get her life together. But remember your priority needs to be the children and if their Bmom and Bdad do not get their life together the children should not have to suffer and if they have a good life with you then I would move with the avenue of adoption.

Answer 2

I'm not sure what state you are in but we have just been through this.  You can get the kids but you cannot adopt right away.  The kids will become wards of the state.   The parents will be given some time by the courts to get their acts together unless they voluntarily relinquish all parental rights.  If they do not, you can apply for guardianship or for adoption.  But the parents first need to fail at  completing their court orders.  The social workers will walk you through this process step by step if you get the kids.  

If you are able to get the kids on an emergency basis, you will function much like a foster family and will be accountable to following the same rules and regulations.  You will have home visits, etc....Again, they will help you through the hoops as quickly as possible as they want kids to be with family members.

We just received my niece and nephew this week.  It was very sudden for us too and drug related. Addiction is a tragic thing.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 3

Go back and read the answers you have already been given.

Pay close attention to the answer posted by a victim of family adoption. Seriously. Nobody knows it better than those who have lived it.

Answer 4

try guardianship.

Answer 5

In our province we have kinship care or person of sufficient interest who can hold guardianship temporarily whle parents clean up.  There is usally subsidies available.