Asking my parents to adopt a kid.......?!?!?

Question

Im an only child and ive always wanted a sister,but my mom cant have anymore kids.They've talked about adopting before..but thought it would be better if they didnt since they have buzy carreers..

I'm normally home alone while they are away at business trips and stuff..and they dont want 2 kids home alone like that...or..i think thats it..or something.im not sure.They could probably get one my age or close to it.(14)Money isnt an issue.But..what do u think the cost would be?..

Answer 1

I think you should sit down with your parents and have a serious discussion.  If it helps, write out the major points and give a reason to each.  There are plenty of children in the system your age who were not taken in and would be more than happy to have a sibling.  Sometimes even a bit of a younger sibling (10, 11) would be fantastic.  It would give you chance to help teach her about getting older.

Try to be mature when having this conversation.  Explain to them that you, better than anyone, understand their lifestyle.  You are not asking for an infant they would have to juggle around.  This is giving another child the ability to have a family.

Good luck.

Answer 2

I understand your desire, I couldn't imagine being an only child and my sister who has an only child wishes she could give her child a sibling.  Unless your parents agree to it there isn't anything you can do, but remember this....if your parents don't have much time for you, they will  not have much time for an adopted child, and children especially those being adopted at your age need a lot of attention and supervision.  Their lives are generally very difficult and being left alone with out parents could be something that scares them.  Why not start a group, where you and other local only children come together and pair up accordingly and spend much time together at each others homes.  That may be the best your going to get until mom/dad settle down a bit from their career.  Also your best friend, when you all grow older and she has children they can be thought of and treated as a neice or nephew.

Answer 3

900$

Answer 4

Shouldn't you be wreaking havoc on your parents calm by trying to date an inappropriate guy instead of trying to get them to adopt a child?

Answer 5

It cost about $1million to raise a kid over time.

If money is no object, there are PLENTY of kids out there they could adopt who are over the normal adoption age, and 14 is definitely one of those ages that kids still in the adoption system think they will be there until they are 18 and then they will be on their own.

It may be best if you could find someone, like on myspace or something like that, and start a conversation with them.  Then once you have something going and think you at least know  a little about them, talk to your parents with a serious sit down conversation about adopting them.

Answer 6

hey im 13 and my mom and dad started adopting a baby girl from china about a yr. and a half a go.i understand how u feel (except my mom is home all the time) im an only child, but about to have 2 siblings. my parents just found out they are pregnat, and are still adopting. :) i would LOVE TO TALK TO U MORE!!

Answer 7

It sounds like you want a friend more than you want a sibling. I realize you're only 14, but in your question you talk about "getting" a new sister as though you were getting a new pair of shoes or a puppy. Adopting is serious business and shouldn't be entered into lightly if all you want is to not be at home alone when your parents are away. And if you find you don't get alone with the new family member, you can't just send her back.

Answer 8

O...gosh, this is a very delicate situation......they would be paying for about 2 or 3 of u!! Reality is, this is something that needs to be talked about for months!! Listen,....when im old enough to be a parent, im only addopting! But...talk to ur mom n dad n listen to what they have to say/....if they addopt a child ur age,,,,theres a good chance the child will b upset goin threw life w/out a parent...so be careful...rethink it...i hope i helped

Answer 9

Sorry but adopting a 14 year old can be harder than a 4 year old. Just by adopting a girl your age is not gonna make you sisters or give you that share your clothes soul mate. It's not that simple. Your 14 and an only child...let it be

Answer 10

First ask them if your family can foster care a 14 year old child. And if you get along with them ask your parents about adopting her.

Answer 11

I think your parents are to be commended for raising a young lady such as yourself that is concerned for others and wants to help another young person.

From what I can tell the cost and procedures vary from state to state, you should be able to research alot of it online, you can start with the websites below.  

If your family is wanting to adopt an older child, it is usually easier than a little child or baby.  They  may want to look in to becoming foster parents - or go through that system for a child to be placed with your family and then move on to the adoption process (with that same child).  

Also, it is my understanding that if you are adopting an older child out of the foster care system, the costs of adoption will be assisted with by the State.  Good Luck!

Answer 12

Adopting any child, but especially an older child who has probably had a very rough life so far takes a lot of dedication on the part of the parents. These kids will need parents who will be able to be around for them a lot, and can dedicate a majority of their time to the child's healthy adjustment and to help work through any issues that she may have. And, most of all, they need parents who truely want another child, and are willing to make major sacrifices to make things work.

Unfortunetly, many parents with busy careers wouldn't be up for this challenge, especially if adopting is something they are being "talked into".

Another option that might be good for your family is to host a  foreign exchange student for the school year. She could be your same age, would be emotionally stable and responsibe, and would likely become "like a sister" to you. This also would not demand the same level of commitment from your family, and would not be a perminant situation, although you could host a new student each year.- Just a suggestion.

Answer 13

i think u should show ur parents or talk to them bout being responsible n that u will take care of ur new sister n u wont be bored give them ideas bout wat u would do wit ur new brother or sister i no u might fight but tell them u loved them as if they were ur own blood n will always love the no matter wat

Answer 14

I think the fact that you are home alone when they are away on business trips is enough of a reason NOT to adopt. 14 years old may be old enough to stay home by yourself for an evening and maybe one night but personally, I would not let a 14 year old stay home alone while I was on a business trip. Sorry, you would be staying at a friends or grandma would be coming to stay with you at night.

I know you want a sibling but the fact of the matter is that any child that is adopted regardless of their age at adoption is going to require more of your parents time than it sounds like they are willing to give. Adding to a family is the decision of the parents and not that of the existing children.

I think your parents are making the wise decision in not adopting. If one of them were home all the time and did not travel it would be worth considering but if they are gone as much as it sounds, now is not the time for them to adopt.

Answer 15

You are want something that you wont be able to take full responsibility of.

Answer 16

If a 14 year old girl or boy is up for adoption, think about the life she or he might have led up to that point. If they've never known their parents, they will have major trust problems from (probably) being in many living situation before coming to you. If their parents just passed away, there's very little chance the kid will feel comfortable with your family for a very long time.

I knew a girl who was an only child and convinced her parents to become foster parents, and from time to time they had foster children in their home - babies, little kids, and even teenagers. Sometimes the kids liked it there, and sometimes life was really hard for everyone involved. Unfortunately, the foster system is not designed to be a long-term situation, and the girl and her family had to say goodbye to all those babies, little kids, and teenagers who they had grown to love. It eventually caused her parents to get divorced. I'm not saying your parents will get divorced or your family will get ruined, but think about this all the way through before you start talking about your parents about it.