Asking teacher for letter of recommendation

Question

I attended one college this past year but I need to switch to a new college because of health reasons. I'm planning on sending this email to one of my professors. Do you think it's ok or should I add anything else to it?

Professor,

I was a student in your Introduction to Mass Communications class this past Fall. (CMA 1 002) This year I'm switching to a new school, Five Towns College and I was wondering if you could write a brief letter of recommendation for me. I know you don't know me very well, but I feel like I did fairly well in your class and since my major is Journalism that you would be the best professor to get a recommendation from. The reason I'm switching schools is because during the Spring semester at Post I was diagnosed with a stomach disorder and was unable to finish my classes for the semester. I've figured out my problem, but it is still crucial for me to be closer to home and Five Towns is the perfect fit for me. Your help with be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

my name

Answer 1

You have a couple of errors in your letter, but other than that, it looks good to me.  

**Errors:  

I would put:   (and my major is Journalism).  You were my first choice from whom to get a recommendation.

Your help *would* be greatly appreciated.

Answer 2

I was a student in your Introduction to Mass Communications class this past Fall. (CMA 1 002)

This year I'm switching to a new school, Five Towns College and I was wondering if you could write a brief letter of recommendation for me.

It's crucial for me to be closer to home, and Five Towns is the perfect fit for me.

Your help with be greatly appreciated.