Aspergers question?

Question

my son is 18 and has aspergers. he fell out with his brother a year ago and now wont talk to me and has moved out because i let his brother sleep on my sofa (for 2 weeks) when he lost his flat. (landlord decided to sell flat). He has now moved into his new flat.

However my younger son still will not talk to me. i phone him every daybutmostly he just ignores my calls or is nasty to me.

i am afraid that this rift will go on for years, like his rift with his brother. i dont know what to do for the best. i am right just to keep phoneing or should i let him be for a while (then worry he will think i dont care).

does any one have any advice on resolving issues with teenager with aspergers?

Answer 1

livi great answer and have rated you...

I agree would forget the negative problem and focus on positive things... having Aspergers myself I can withdraw, shutdown, complete lock down for a while... this is often my way of dealing with things... its strange, but sometimes I want to reach out and talk and just can not seem to.. have found during these times, really hate the phone and can come across as quite rude, its just at times do not want to answer phones, but always respond much better in cyber space, like most aspies... if you can email him, may be a good way to get conversation going again, keep it light and short to start... I find this really helps me at times.... otherwise text... avoid one on one conversation if you can until he is ready, but the odd positive remarks ok....

I may seem like a blank canvas to others at times, but it often is when I really appreciate others acknowledging me, in a nice way. But try not to push things if no response, as I will then withdraw more...

I often call these times the injured animal time where I retreat and deal with things in my own way, its like an emotional overload, of often feeling we have to act out how we should be and feel others not quite understanding us. Does he have any associated conditions mood disorders such as bipolar, most of us with aspergers have mood swings and anxiety from having to put up with society in general, ignorance of others etc... but if moods extreme there could be more to it.

Answer 2

i work with adults and children with aspergers and autism, as you would already know, aspergers sufferers take things very matter of fact, things are black and white to them, if you are able to, i wouldn't necessarily leave him be for a long period, as he may take this as a form of rejection, i would leave it 2 days between calls, then call him for reassurance, perhaps text just to tell him you love him, and don't talk about the incident that upset him, this is negative and should be 4gotton, try lots of reassurance and over time he should just focus on the positive things you have been reinforcing. hope things work out x

Answer 3

You should get him a psychiatrist.  I am 19 and live with asperger's.  I sometimes have problems / issues, like yelling / losing it when I'm angry, frustrated, sometimes when I'm annoyed.  I have high sensitivities to certain sounds which I do not like and cannot stand.  Sometimes talking to friends at school can be a bit of a challenge for me.  My sisters have more friends over than me.  I am uncomfortable with certain places because I cannot stand crowds (crowds with people all ages with children / young ones under pre-adolescent growing levels, especially those under the age of 13, even under 5 years old, in which I cannot stand to hear children / young ones cry, especially babies) (see noise sensitivities).  

Never mind that!  Let's go on to the advice I'm giving you.

I take some medication once a day called STRATERA which can often help people with certain problems (including mental health problems and people with ADHD) controlling themselves and / or even people who get easily distracted.  Each pill I take once a day is 18 mg.  I usually see my psychiatrist on certain days whenever I have appointments.  She usually calls in my prescriptions whenever I'm out.  My mother usually picks it up at a RITE-AID pharmacy which is close by to where I live.  So what I recommend is having your son take some medication once a day like the STRATERA I take.  Your son also needs a good psychiatrist to go to on appointments who can call in the order whenever he needs a refill.  You can pick up his medication at your local pharmacy store near you.  Hope this helps!  If you have anything to say about this, please feel free to send me an email.  My user allows email just so you know!  Hope this helps!