Assaulted for being 'ugly'... How do I move on?

Question

When I was 14 I was sexually assaulted by a guy because he said I was 'ugly... and deserved to die'. I used to get beat up sometimes especially at 13 as well for being ugly - but that was nothing in comparision.

Now at 19 things still look bleak. I'm still ugly, still feel ugly and now I want to die. How do I move on in my life. I cant change my looks, perhaps my attitude to life?

Answer 1

First of all, what that guy did to you and what those other people did to you were completely out of line and inexcusable.  Everyone has the right to exist and to be safe from harm.  I do think that seeing a therapist or a counselor would be a great idea to help you overcome your self-confidence issues.  As for moving on, just keep reminding yourself that you are a worthy human being and that you deserve respect.  Also, try making a list of your positive qualities and see if  that makes you feel better.  Best of luck to you.  

Answer 2

First off let me say that I am sorry that you went thru such a horrible experience at 13 and 14.  I can't imagine what that is like.  That said I have to say that in my experience I have found that guys like the one when you were 14 who do these types of things are the ones who feel ugly inside and try to make themselves feel better by torturing someone like yourself.  This INWARD ugliness is not a reflection of how someone looks but how they act and feel, and it is contagious in a way.  Now you say you are ugly, and I say that you only FEEL ugly inside.

People can tell you that you need to see a shrink or a doctor or get on drugs or whatever, but I believe that the best start is just talking to someone who will listen.  Baby steps is my motto.  When you feel safe talking to someone who listens, then go talk to a close family member and then a therapist (or if you are me you go to the therapist first and then the family).

I never did anything like that guy when you were 14 and I am not unattractive but I felt so ugly inside that I considered suicide.  That was my wakeup call.  Here I am a year later.  I still have depression but I am much happier about it.  Good Luck!

Answer 3

Once again hun, you need professional help, these scars don't heal themselves. it sounds like this creep did some major damage to your mind and you need to consult someone on this rather than un-professional opinions on here.  I am so sorry that this has happened to you, I too was a victim, am a victim of sexual battery and assault, I am 33 and still learning how to live with it.  You really need to seek professional advice.  Good luck to you!

Answer 4

Kiki, please see my other response to you.  You definitely need to see a therapist, and especially one for cognitive behavioral therapy.  You are letting the words of a criminal who had no regard for your feelings to ruin your life.  When you feel better you WILL "look" better, as our face is truly the mirror to our soul.  Just by standing taller, you can look and feel better (try it!).  

God bless.  Please email me if you feel I can help you with anything.  I wasn't the best-looking at that age (far from it) plus I was skinny and very tall, so I've been through it all.  But do find a therapist!!