Asspipe bleeds the day after I eat too much Mexican food?

Question

I love Mexican food. However, when I eat a hearty helping, I can always count on a bloody *** the following day. Is there anyway I can continue to eat gorditas and chalupas yet maintain a healthy a*****e? I'm beginning to worry about hemorhoids and the effect it will have with my sexual intercourse. I will eat tacos to the grave if I must.. I love em. But I'd rather just not bleed... cream? pills? help :)

Answer 1

The secret to stopping the bleeding after going to a Mexican Restaurant....

Since I know the food can't cause the problem you describe, then you need to lay off of the tequila or stop getting so drunk that you're picking up strange men.

I guess I can see hemorrhoids hampering your butt love fest.  There are medicated suppositories you can use or medicated wipes, but the medication takes a few days to work.  Either way, you'll have to stop your putting things in your bum, other than meds of course.

Answer 2

Go to a doctor.  You might have hemorrhoids that are aggravated by something like peppers.  Or don't eat the peppers and try not to wolf down the food.

Check yourself out anyways. Mexican food is worth the trouble.

Answer 3

WARNING: SOMEWHAT GRAPHIC

Hemorrhoids are not so much about spice as about, ah, how to put this delicately? Texture.

If what comes out of your body is anything less than quite soft, it will irritate existing hemorrhoids. If it's so putty-like that you have to push hard to make it happen, the veins there can "pop" and become instant hemorrhoids. The spices in Mexican (and Indian and certain Chinese and Thai...) further irritate those swollen veins, and ba-da-boom, they bleed.

So you need to work on keeping yourself so hydrated and having a diet so high in fiber that you never have to strain to eliminate waste products and what comes out is more like set pudding than modeling clay.

This means you need at least five, and preferably nine, servings of fruit or vegetables every single day, and to eat whole grain whenever there's an option. (Usually there is, if you cook at home or eat at decent restaurants. Fast food, not so much.) You need to drink enough liquids that your urine is nearly colorless all the time.

When and if you've failed to eat and drink wisely, and you eat Mexican food anyway, you might consider using an anti-inflammatory ointment or creme like Preparation-H *before* you visit the bathroom. Give it time to shrink hemorrhoids and you might fare better temporarily.

Answer 4

Just eat a lot more...

Answer 5

With hemorrhoids and fissures, if your stool is too hard, it will be very painful to pass.  Try to increase your fiber intake in order to make it easy to pass a bowel movement.  Fruits and vegetables, especially bananas and spinach, will help.  

If that isn't enough, take two to three prunes each night, as well as a fiber supplement such as Benefiber.  In order to ease the pain, I would recommend Preparation H suppositories, and not just the topical ointment.  (Though you may use the topical ointment in addition to the suppositories if your problem is external hemorrhoids bleeding.)  Use them right before you go to bed.  

And of course, if the problem continues to persist, see your doctor.  Surgery could be necessary, especially if your problem is a fissure.

Answer 6

maybe an ulster? SEE DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY!!

Answer 7

Just keep on eating, and remember- the spicier the better! ;]

Answer 8

first off try CHEWING the food before you swallow ,second if it continues -SEE A DOCTOR !

Answer 9

You need to see a doctor.  You should not be bleeding from within.  Could be an ulcer.  Not worth messing with.