At what age does it become inappropriate for a child to climb/sit on people?

Question

This inlcudes parents, friends and people the child has just met. This child climbs on people's backs, sits on their laps and between their legs. She is the size of a small adult and I find it inappropriate and other people find it uncomfortable but don't want to say anything to her about it. I have told her it is inappropriate at times but she doesn't take it onboard.

Answer 1

It's kind of like that famous Supreme Court pronouncement about p**n: "You'll know it when you see it."

I wouldn't necessarily pin a definite age on it, but when it feels inappropriate to either party or an onlooker, it probably is.

The fact that you're asking the question probably means that in your heart, you think it's inappropriate. You should be firm in this position.

Answer 2

Well I would say around kindergarten a child should stop being all over people, and I really don't find it proper for a child to be climbing all over strangers or new people after a few years. It is kinds rude and awkward. So ages 5-7 should be the end of it, and really that is family only. I know my little boy climbs up and visits grandpa and sits in his lap and such still he is 6.

Answer 3

Hun wow I am baffled, I guess I understand how you feel, my ex wife accused me once of inappropriate relations with my niece just cause she use to love to hold my hand and sit on my lap in to here early teens.  Bottom line is I was her only father figure and well, I guess I should have listened to her instinct, cause now well lets just say were estranged, its sad I tell you cause there was never anything wrong with it and maybe now she views it differently.  Good topic, best of luck to you.

Guy

Answer 4

If it makes someone uncomfortable, I don't think they should be allowed to climb on a person at any age.

Answer 5

When a child is too attached to parents and are pretty spoilt in being showered with lots of (physical) effection, is when they start to get their behaviour from their parents. If you allow the child to carry on this behaviour then they will think it's normal and that's how you greet people and will not understand that it is not an appropriate gesture in adults.

If the child doesn't get it after you've spoken about it then you have to try a different solution.

I suggest you can try by getting a doll or a stuffed toy (which has a little weight on it) over her exactly the way she behaves with others and see her reaction. If she flinches that mean she dislikes it. Keep doing that several times and she if she reacts hatefully. When she asks you why are you bothering her then it'll be a good time to explain that, that's how others feel when she climbs or sit on people.

PS: Mind you when you carry this procedure do not laugh and joke around or they think it's playtime. Repeat that if necessary until you achieve your goal.

They will not understand the seriousness until you are serious yourself. You have to be stern and remind them till they get rid of their habit. It is your job as a parent to correct their wrong that's how you will be able to guide them in the future to become a good adult.