At what age is an adoption likely to be most successful .?

Question

An Infant bonds well to their foster parents .The older kids lose their sense of belonging to their Orphanage family when they are adopted. Their insecurity causes them stress for a considerable time.

Answer 1

I believe it is dependent on the child and the family.  Here in the US, we don't have Orphanages anymore so I'm not sure that I fully understand your question.  However, I know many children who have been adopted and their ages have ranged from infant, to toddler, to even young teenagers.  Everyone adapted very well to their new families and adoptive parents.

Answer 2

Any age is good really , theres good things and bad things about all adoption ages i think

Answer 3

as early as possible

Answer 4

do you want to adopt me

Answer 5

The age definitely ranges from child to child. However as a generalization I think that the child should be adopted from age 5-7. First they will know that you are not their biological parents, thus you will avoid the conversation and problems that would arise if you adopt them from birth and give them misconceptions that you are their biological parents. Secondly, the child's feelings would be easy to change as we can observe in younger children that most appreciate the kindness and are rather open to strangers. Thirdly, in preschools they will bond with younger children whom at that age just want to have fun and do not care whether their playmates are adopted or not. And then it is up to the foster parents to provide a caring and loving home to the young child who will definitely grow up to appreciate the love and care he/she has been showered with and the efforts that the foster parents have put through.

Answer 6

adoption can be successful at any point

I was adopted at birth

my friend morgan was adopted when she was 9

I guess it all depends on the child

if they get into trouble alot then it will be hard

but if you get a child that really wants a family and they truly love you then no matter what the age adoption will be the answer !

Answer 7

It depends on the child, the parents and the circumstances.  (how's that for non-committal?).  I'll explain below.  If you're trying to decide what age child to adopt, go to http:www.tapestrybooks.com and do a good amount of research through reading.  You should also look into joining an adoption community -- either a support group which meets somewhere or online (Yahoo Groups has many of them).

Now about the child/parents/circumstances.

Basic trust is the foundation on which all relationships are built.  Basic trust is built during the first two years of life.  It affects how open our heart is to people, how resilient we are with disappointments or wounds, how self-confident we are, how our conscience operates, as well as other things.

Basic trust is built by the child being cared for physically, shown gentle affection and to be played with in an appropriate way (peek a boo, pat a cake, etc.).  

If a child has not had basic trust built from birth, it can be harder to parent that child, but the adoptive parents can go back and build that foundation so that the child can find healing (counseling is helpful) and build better relationships.

Basic trust can be broken during the first week of a child's life or even much later.  If a child is neglected from birth and removed from the home within a month, basic trust can be broken...if a child is orphaned at age 1 1/2, basic trust can be broken (those are two of a myriad of possibilities).  Again, parents can go back even years later and rebuild that foundation through counseling so that relationships can be built on a strong foundation and will stand solid as a rock.

It sounds like you're concerned about bonding.  One other thing that can impact bonding is whether that child has been able to successfully form attachments with others in the past.  We adopted a sibling group (two sisters) and they had each other which really helped them in their transition.  They'd successfully attached to each other and they each had the other to help them as they began to attach to us.

We went into the adoption having read gobs of books, which helped.  We also are part of an adoptive parent support group, which helps immensely.  We also have a team of professionals ready to help us when needed (counselor, social worker, international adoption clinic professionals, etc.).  We also have an awesome church family who helps us.  This has equipped us to help the girls with the transition, help them attach to us and help them heal from past hurts (and there are plenty of those).

So...don't discard thoughts of adopting an older child based on fears of attachment and bonding issues.  Go into it with your eyes wide open, get as much information on the child(ren) as possible, read many books and magazines on adoption, get yourself around others who are going through it and assemble supportive people (professionals and friends) to help you on your journey & you can be successful.

Answer 8

Hi,

I guess it depends on the circumstances of adoption as some children who are aged 6/7 ect can bond well as can teenagers.

However through some circumstances I discovered that adopted parents are more likely to adopt a baby and not a 5 year old ect.

Not sure why this is and feel it wrong.

There is also more demand for ethnic minorities to adopt as there are many children who are up for adoption  who benefit better being placed with those of same ethnic background so they can learn more about culture ect.

Lx

Answer 9

Very young, naturally. When they are older they will only remember you as their parents since they were born.

Answer 10

I just wanted to tell you really there is no bad age. I was adopted at the age of 15. Im now 21 an couldn't be happier im very close to my Adoptive parents, Please don't let anyone tell you that older kids cannot bond because its not true an there are so many kids older that don't have families because people are more interested in infants. I hope this helped  Oh an my parents went an adopted 2 more children after me at the age of 8 an the other was 13 so its not all lossed hope!

Answer 11

In any case adopting is a great idea, but wither what age you adopt at there could be problems.  Kids grow up and want to find their biological parents, medical history etc.  As far as bonding the younger would probably be easiest.

Answer 12

i think when young so they think that they are you bioloigal parents

Answer 13

Me and my two brothers were all adopted at birth, each of us has a different pair of birthparents.  We've always known that we were each adopted and known the real story the whole time about "the day we were born".  Obviously, you've answered your own question by saying that "an infant bonds well to their foster parents" and "older kids lose their sense of belonging...their insecurity causes them stress".  Adoption is most likely going to be a success for the child when they are adopted at birth...the relationship between child and parent is much more stable because, whether they know they're adopted or not, they've had TIME with each other and have learned what to trust, what the family's routine is, and any quirks.  When I think of older adopted children, my first two thoughts are, "they must not have been adopted at birth and lived from foster home to foster home all their life" and "did DHS remove them from their birth family under terrible circumstances?".  This is probably why adopting at a very young age is a better idea...and adopting at an older age is good if the adopting family is up for the challenge of raising a child that's been raised differently than the parents would have raised him/her, but most likely a strain on both the adopting family and the child.

Answer 14

How long is a piece of string?

There are far too many variables to give a definitive answer. However ,vital to a good outcome are honesty and openness, whether the child is an infant or older. A willingness to give unconditional love is also a prerequisite. Believe me, this will be returned many fold.

It doesn't end there either . My grandson is the light of my life and he is very much his Granda's boy !

Answer 15

The younger the child is, the better.  Once the chilkd starts to recognize people, it becomes more difficult to get him/her to bond with someone new.  Difficult, but not impossible.  It also depends upon the way the child is treated (whether he/she has already "shut down" and is not relying upon others for needs).

Answer 16

Studies have shown that newborn babies go into a period of grief when they lose the only person they have ever known, their biological mother. There is a lot of information out there to learn about the work that adoptive parents have to do in order to help their child develop a good attachment to their new family. Babies are not the blank slates that people think they are.

Successful adoptions happen when the adoptive parents have fully explored why they have chosen to adopt, have done the research to prepare themselves for the challenges, and are open to ongoing research to help them through every stage of parenting an adoptee. It's not about the age of the child. It's about the maturity of the parents.