At what point are you spoiling a baby?

Question

Okay. My little one is 3 month old and I pay attention to her every second. My mom probably thinks this will be a problem later. The new thing is the psychological attachment parenting but can it go too far? I pick her up everytime she crys and now I can't put her in the crib so I can even sterilize her bottles and stuff like that. What measures should I take to ensure that she feels loved but at the same time doesn't demand my Constant attention?

Answer 1

When you buy them Lious Vuitton Hankerchief and bottle

Answer 2

when you stop hitting it

Answer 3

You can't spoil a child but you can teach her that if she cries every time you will pick her up and it gets to be a really fun game.  Sometimes if you offer her a toy or something or drag the pumpkin or what you have her in where you are working she might find that to be amusing.  and Sometimes it can be a tag that really bothers her when she is laying down and when you pick her up it no longer bothers her so check her clothing for something that might irritate her.

Answer 4

First of all, u r a great parent!

But, little by little, lower the amount of attention. Your mother is right; too much attention will be a problem.

Good luck with your baby!!!

Answer 5

Ok everyone else is saying that your good because they want 10 points. But the real question is......do YOU have the time to go to work with a child who is attatched to you like fabric softener in a ball of socks? The child needs other people around it also because if it comes too attatched to you it wont play good with others. So schedule a little play date with someone elses kid, that way you can sit them next together and they can watch bob the builder or something together. The constant attention is great seeing how its only 3 months old but gradually you have to let it become an individual. Also are you always fretting when the baby gets a pinched finger from a toy or a little scratch. This isn't good to be like this for too long because the baby will become a spoiled brat in kindergarten and wont make friends. Make sure you baby it, but dont to the point where you can do normal chores like sterlizing bottles and doing laundry.

Answer 6

it will become a problem win she gets older  you should some times ignore her win she does not wont any thing but for you to hold her you may have to leave her at someones hous for a couple of days so she can get use to not being around you if not than when she starts shcool it would be hard for her to let go i have a son he just turned 1 and he got put out of day camp for crying so much

Answer 7

I demanded my mothers attention for many years.

I believe it has made me a better person, to know i was loved.

I also believe that doing things, such as letting the baby cry itself to sleep, are never OK.

Native American babies stayed with their mothers everywhere.

If you start the idea now, that the baby has to grow up, that can often lead to children that feel pressured to do things they aren't ready to do.  From this feeling they may lash out in many ways.

Another point:  To act as if your baby thinks the way adults do is crazy.  To them, when you go away, it is like you no longer exist, or simply aren't there.  They haven't developed spacial reasoning yet, and therefore don't know stuff like, I'm just in the kitchen.

Answer 8

This is from experience and from my parents advice on my own child. Yes people say that you can not spoil a baby, but most parents will disagree with that. Babies do cry sometimes to be picked up because they want attention, and that is fine, you need to do that every once in a while, but babies also need to know that you have to put themselves down sometimes, and they have to be ok with it. My little girl is 8 weeks old, and already I feel she is a little spoiled (i put her down, she cries, pick her up she is fine) and the doctors say they dont learn that until 4 months. I had to go back to work so I needed to break her of this habit, I need the sleep and I know the babysitter wont let pick her up as I do. So i let her cry for 5 minutes, and thats all it took, she stopped crying and she was fine! She just started looking around. Also, if you dont pick up your little one all the time they will start finding ways to entertain themselves, like reaching and grabbing for things. The sterilizing the bottle thing, it just for safety reasons, germs and what not so I wouldnt worry about that. Also, do what you feel is right in your heart. If you feel like you need to sterilize your bottles, then go ahead, if you feel like you need to pick up your little one when they cry, go ahead, but as u said it will be hard to put them down when u need too. (maybe the term spoiling is too rough, but babies do learn to relay on their mother, the more you pick her up.)

If you want to try to put her down, it will be hard to let her cry, but it is best for you and the baby. (make sure there isnt anything wrong like feeding or diaper change, also if you havent played with your child all day, then yes they do want and need your love then, but if it happens everytime, she needs to learn to settle on her own) The best menthod of doing this is letting your baby cry for 5 mintues, go back and console her, make sure u dont pick her up, but just enough to let her know you are there for me, then leave her for 10 minutes console her, 15 minutes, etc. You might have to go 40 minutes, but thats normal. The next time you do it, she might only go to 20 minutes, then maybe 5. (also when u do this, make sure your baby cant see or hear you if possible)

Answer 9

always let her know that you are there for her, when she cries, find out the reason (if possible) for her crying before picking her up. maybe just have her on the bed with you, but dont actually have her in your arms,

girl, my baby is 15 months and i did the same thing,

let me tell you, wheew, it gets tiring after while and its hard habit to break.

Answer 10

At this point in time there is no such thing as spoiling her. If you are having problems getting things done, consider using a swing or bouncer to grab her attention while you work in little chunks to get work done around the house. If you are still having problems around six months, then try to prioritize when you pick her up. All babies have their "hungry" cries, "dirty" cries, and "mommy hold me" cries. Let her cry it out for a few minutes while you finish up whatever it is you are doing. It will not hurt her to cry for 5 minutes while you shower or finish up dinner. Good luck.  

Answer 11

at 3 months they need this attention! at 3 months, they dont know the meaning of spoiling. they only know attention and love which they need TONS of. u are doing nothing wrong.  

Answer 12

I thought the Louis Vuitton answer was funny so I'm going to add:

When you get her Prada baby clothes.  lol  You can't spoil her at this age.  Try getting a sling if you enjoy doing attachment parenting so you can sterilize her bottles.

Congratulations and keep it up.

Answer 13

Only you can decide what works for you and your family.  Your mom will have very different opinions because parenting philosophies were very different when they had us.

I personally don't go in for attachment parenting-it wouldn't work for me, but that's my family and my choices.  Only you can decide what works for you.

Answer 14

By ensuring that all her needs are met while still taking care of your own. babies have different kinds of cries, and if it is vital you will know it. Secondly babies cry to exercise their lungs and develop their voice muscles so if she wails let her it will not damage her physically or psychologically.

Answer 15

Well, when she cries, she is hungry or needs to p**p, but as she get s older, like 12 mo, etc etc,when she cries it will be more 'i want' you need to make sure that you let her criy in the middle of the nap. she will fall back asleep. as she gets older when she cries it will mean 'i want' so you need to make sure to show her proper manners for getting stuff like snacks, or toys. good luck

Answer 16

Let her cry every once in awhile. Baby's need to learn that they can't always get what they want by crying or when there older they'll expect to.

Rock the baby to sleep and put her in the crib if she keeps crying let her cry it off for 5 min. if she doesnt stop pick her up and take her with you.

maybe find something to sit her in so you don't have to hold her all the time. newborn baby chair for the kitchen when your cooking or getting her food...and so on.

Answer 17

You can't spoil a baby that is so young.  By picking her up you are reinforcing that you love her and that you will be there for her when she needs you.  If you let her cry she will think that she is not important since no one comes when she calls.  Nurturing her in this way will actually lead to a more independent and secure child when she is older.  I have always read that you cannot spoil a child under 6 months.  Just keep showing her that you love her and things will work out.  

Answer 18

Attachment parenting is a new term for a very, very old style of parenting.  Before there were different styles of parenting, there was AP.  That's how humans have taken care of their babies for thousands of years.  The new thing is putting babies down.  Babies have the idea that they need to be held constantly or else the wolves (tigers, snakes, bears, pigs, whatever) will get them.  Your daughter doesn't know that your house is completely wolf-proof.  She just needs to be held.

The best thing is to get a sling and wear her a lot so you can get stuff done.  If you let her feel safe and secure now, she will trust that you will meet her needs for attention and everything else.  Many babies stop crying after a while because they learn that crying does them no good.  You don't want your baby to stop trying to communicate with you, you just want her to learn to play on her own sometimes.  She will.  In no time, you'll look back and you'll realize how short the in-arms period is.  It won't seem like so much work then.

Answer 19

You are wasting your time now sterilizing the bottles anyway!  You don't have to pick her up every time she cries, tend to her, but try not to pick her up every single time!  Entertain her a bit, talk to her, but don't pick her up unless you have to!  Stop hovering so much, she has to learn to be independant and she can't do that if you are always right there.  Let her cry for a minute and see if she will soothe herself instead of running right in, things like this will make it easier on you and her too in the long run!

Answer 20

Constant attention is bad because it will make her expect you to come running all the time.  As a new mom I am sure you want her to know you'll come, but you can't be there all the time.  She has to get used to not getting attention on demand.  She knows you love her by the way you treat her and talk to her...  you don't have to be picking her up and disrupting everything everytime she cries...  that is spoiling.  

Answer 21

Do what I did, and what developing world women have always done.  Get a baby sling, put the baby in it put it on yourself and do your work.  Baby get the contact it needs for neural development, you get your arms free and a compromise has been reached.    

Answer 22

do not worry about spoiling your baby.  if she cries, she needs something.  answer her need.

you can help her console and amuse herself in a loving kind way.

try alleviating her separation anxiety by putting her in a swing or bassinet or car seat in the kitchen and sing or talk to her while you go about your duties and can't hold her.  take time out to console her when necessary and she'll get the idea.

as time goes by, and she seems a little less anxious to be held at all times, place her a little farther away until she can be secure that you are around even if she can't necessarily see or hear you.

it won't take long.

and if your baby is still inconsolable and hasn't made progress after a couple of weeks, then see a physician to make sure she's not in any physical discomfort like colic.

anyhow, she's only 3 months.  that is only 12 whole weeks on this earth.  why wouldn't she want mommy?  :)  good luck and have fun!

Answer 23

it remains a mystery -i wish i knew because my 3 year old baby sister has officially been spoiled since forever

Answer 24

I am going through the same thing with my baby (3 months too).  It is so hard to know what the right thing is.  One book says don't let them cry it out and another says let them cry it out.  uggggh.

Answer 25

yeah i think you might be spoling her too much and will pay for it later in life. like for example picking her up everytime she cries will be bad for you and for her later in the future.they're brain needs this type of growing up or she will have a hard time in life later.she also needs to lay on the floor alot its helps develop her brain more, the certain parts that she will need. she needs to sleep in her crib. its good for babies. hope this helps!  

Answer 26

She needs to learn to let you do things you need to do. Sit her in a bouncy seat or something while you wash bottles, talk to her to let her know you are there and it is ok, but don't give in and pick her up just because she cries. She will figure out mom is not going anywhere and she is ok.  My son did the same thing really bad, eventually he got over it, I know it is hard because you want to pick them up, but trust me if you let it go they only get worse with age.

Answer 27

Sometimes you do have to let her entertain herself and experience other people.  My sis in law did that with her boy and he runs the show everywhere she goes.  He does not like being around other people.  Try letting a sister/mom/aunt take her for a few hours so she's used to being in different enviroments so she's not shocked when you have to have someone babysit, etc.

Answer 28

babies r spoild free till 6 months  

Answer 29

When they turn green and fester.

Pick them when they are pink and firm.

Answer 30

I believe that you can't spoil a baby at that age. But everyone has their own beliefs on that. If she crys for your attention, maybe just pick her up, cuddle and put her back down and distract her with a toy.  

Answer 31

Only you know the answer babbies are demanding giving her att. doesn't spoil her it gives her security as she gets more capable of playing then you can start to back off by giving her play optioins finger foods and so on but for now enjoy